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I am so angry and upset, but it's my fault.
Comments
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I'm sure you are shocked, and I know why you feel it's your fault ...
BUT really seriously and honestly - this isn't any of your business.
I agree with belfastgirl23, don't start trying to compile evidence of any kind. That could backfire terribly IF it amounted to anything and your sister found out you had known for ages.
REALLY this isn't anything to do with you. try very hard to put what you saw behind you, pretend you never saw it, say NOTHING at all to sister or her husband - who could be quite cross you were 'snooping' on his PC.
The only difficulty is that it will probably affect how you relate to him now, and sister might realise that when she comes home !I try not to get too stressed out on the forum. I won't argue, i'll just leave a thread if you don't like what I say.
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With your partner's knowledge, why don't you set up your own profile and arrange to meet him?
I wouldn't say anything to your sister, yet.:heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.0 -
With your partner's knowledge, why don't you set up your own profile and arrange to meet him?
I wouldn't say anything to your sister, yet.
OOOOH NO NO NO !
Don't get involved please !!I try not to get too stressed out on the forum. I won't argue, i'll just leave a thread if you don't like what I say.0 -
OOOOH NO NO NO !
Don't get involved please !!
But... Don't you think the OP's sister deserves to know if her husband is behaving inappropriately or even cheating? Could you live with yourself if you kept something so important from her?
The OP is in a terrible position, but her sister is in a worse one.
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[QUOTE=belfastgirl23;66945222}
If your sister is seriously ill your BIL might be trying to figure out how/if he could live a life without her. Who is to judge him on this, it's an awful thing to face. Honestly that's how I would approach it.[/QUOTE]
Seriously?! I think that is an awful way to approach it. I can't believe that anyone who takes their wedding vows seriously would do such a thing. How can anyone even contemplate looking for a new partner while the current one is lying seriously ill in hospital? If my husband was seriously ill, I'd be beside myself, not lining up husband no:2.
Granted, who knows what problems are occurring in their marriage, and unfortunately affairs do happen. But to be even "looking" on a dating website just incase the worst should happen is a really horrible thing to do IMO....if that was the case of course.
OP, I'm with those that say gather as much evidence as possible. You then have it if you need to use it in the future. But now is not the time.
I hope your sister is on the road to recovery very soon. X0 -
As said above.
To make it easier for you just incase he catches you, you could go to the library and use their internet so not to leave any trace that you have seen anything on his computer. Take some screen shots and email them to yourself all you need is the site address which he has posted on.
You say your sister is seriously ill so this is the last thing you should be worrying about, your wondering BIL. Try to keep things the same as they have been since you arrived because the minute he gets a wiff that you are onto him you will be out on your ears, and he may stop you from visiting your sister as he is her next of kin(I presume).
Do not tell her when she is at her lowest (sickest) wait until she is a lot stronger and will be able to cope with it with your help.0 -
If you're old enough to use a computer you're old enough to keep your emotions in check. At some point in the future when your sister is 100% well you can decide then if you want to tell her what you found.
Now is not the time, and bear in mind your sister may be fully aware of the dating site membership......................I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)0 -
he has not been a very good husband, based on everything my sister has told me over the years (my sis is his third wife and has tolerated him the longest) He knows that the family only tolerate him (she told him) because of her
Sounds to me like these two states of affairs continue...But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,Had the whole of their cash in his care.
Lewis Carroll0 -
I'm sure you are shocked, and I know why you feel it's your fault ...
BUT really seriously and honestly - this isn't any of your business.
I agree with belfastgirl23, don't start trying to compile evidence of any kind. That could backfire terribly IF it amounted to anything and your sister found out you had known for ages.
REALLY this isn't anything to do with you. try very hard to put what you saw behind you, pretend you never saw it, say NOTHING at all to sister or her husband - who could be quite cross you were 'snooping' on his PC.
The only difficulty is that it will probably affect how you relate to him now, and sister might realise that when she comes home !
Your sister probably already knows.0 -
Your sister probably already knows.
Or if the husband is careless about leaving his browsing history on the computer she may find out!This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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