relationship advice for please

Sabrina237

Thanks Poppy that is lovely to heat. Guess I am just so used to using alcohol to have a good time. Its hard when we are clashing heads as we are normally a good team

GobbledyGook

You said there weren't many people you wanted to talk too because you didn't get a good send off for maternity leave - is that something that has upset you? Could it have been awkward for him if you weren't talking to people? Or awkward for him if there are people who have annoyed or upset you? [I know my OH struggles with a friend's wife in social settings because she upset me massively before and he always feels awkward when she is around]

marisco_2

We all have occasions when we feel a bit off and just need a little space and distance. It doesn't mean that those closest to us have done anything wrong or upset us.

I don't think you need to analyse this in such depth or overly concern yourself. Especially about the comment made in the car. Your partner was remarking on an observation he made, you hadn't spoken to many people. Maybe it was mentioned in order for you to say how you felt, so as he could talk it through with you and offer some support.

Enjoy making a fuss of him on his birthday and have a happy family day.

TBeckett100

1) turn off your predictive text!

2) if it was your work colleagues and you weren't talking to them much, do you think it may have left him awkward? I mean if I went to my OH's work do, I'd expect her to bring me into a conversation as she knows them more than I do and a lot of the chat is about things I have no idea about.

If this is the case, perhaps he felt like a spare part all evening, preferring to be at home not talking than in a public place dealing with a child. I'd view it as a waste of time.

Your writing style isn't very clear. I seem to believe that the evening turned out ok to begin with and then went downhill when the colleagues turned up?

It is his birthday, let him dictate the mood today and let him get on with it. I'd he fails to cheer up by tomorrow then carry on the argument on your own terms

Smoking and drinking is deemed as a no no. He may have his views but also he may be embarrassed by your actions. I'm not judging you by the way. It's common perception I'm reiterating

FuzzyPanda

This is going to sound extremely judgemental, but here goes. I find it difficult to talk to people I don't know, especially with no alcohol! However I would make no effort to talk to someone who was pregnant and smoking and drinking. I would think "how awful!".

Yes you're just about to drop, and it's really not likely to cause an issue at this stage, but it still ain't right to smoke around kids, whether they're in utero or out utero. It would be seen as extremely taboo, and therefore people who may have talked to you "wow! your close! are you excited!" etc., would have avoided you.
I'm not trying to attack you, I'm just trying to explain why you may have been less than successful in this social situation. Yes it's nobody else's business but your own, but if you're going to smoke/drink when obviously pregnant, you have to accept that it ain't popular. Hubby may be aware of this and yes, been a bit embarrassed.

As others have said, hubby works a lot, and may not feel up to looking after you in the evening as well. He's also probably quite concerned about the imminent arrival - without necessarily even realising it!

Hope you had a nice day for his birthday.

Lily-Rose_3

FuzzyPanda wrote: »

This is going to sound extremely judgemental, but here goes. I find it difficult to talk to people I don't know, especially with no alcohol! However I would make no effort to talk to someone who was pregnant and smoking and drinking. I would think "how awful!".

Yes you're just about to drop, and it's really not likely to cause an issue at this stage, but it still ain't right to smoke around kids, whether they're in utero or out utero. It would be seen as extremely taboo, and therefore people who may have talked to you "wow! your close! are you excited!" etc., would have avoided you.

I'm not trying to attack you, I'm just trying to explain why you may have been less than successful in this social situation. Yes it's nobody else's business but your own, but if you're going to smoke/drink when obviously pregnant, you have to accept that it ain't popular. Hubby may be aware of this and yes, been a bit embarrassed.

As others have said, hubby works a lot, and may not feel up to looking after you in the evening as well. He's also probably quite concerned about the imminent arrival - without necessarily even realising it!

Hope you had a nice day for his birthday.

This ^^^ Seeing a woman smoking whilst pregnant just incenses me.

I don't care how judgemental I sound. It's a 100% no-no.

I would be thinking ALL sorts if I saw a pregnant woman smoking. OR if I saw her smoking around her baby/child.

Same goes for a MAN doing it BTW.

DaveTheMus

Sabrina237 wrote: »

Hey everyone. Sorry but I just need to vent. We have just got back from a workmates evening do. We started off having a great night and my OH slowly got more and more distant. I thought it was because I had a shandy and a couple of roll ups which i haven't done that in ages as am 37 weeks pregnant. Everyone turned up from work an hour or two later but as I didn't get much of a send off after starting my maternity leave there weren't many people I wanted to talk to. My OH was very distant and although I tried to keep up with him chasing after our two year old I didn't have energy to keep

I think you've hit it on the head there....

He'll just be contemplating what possessed him to have children with a person who would in such a disgusting, selfish manner...

Is it so difficult for you to satiate your self-indulgent vices for 40 weeks!

purpleshoes_2

Lets get the shandy into perspective, probably had half a unit of alcohol in it if that, Ive seen women post that they drink becks blue when pregnant as an alternative to alcohol, even becks blue has some alcohol in it. So if the OP is going to be beaten with a large stick over having a shandy, I dare say that many thousands or millions of women over the UK might be due the same judgement over having a tiny amount of alcohol in their system.

Also, whether we like it or not, some women will continue to smoke (and drink) all the way through pregnancy. The OP hasnt said this is the case with her and I think its unrealistic to say her husband was upset with her because she had one shandy and two roll ups. If that is the case surely he is capable of voicing that.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

Looks like someone's after a bit of attention here. Smoking and drinking while pregnant, taking another baby to a party. Everyone look at me!

Kynthia

There's nothing wrong with having a shandy when pregnant and a large number of women have the odd drink. You're allowed a couple of units a week just like you're allowed a certain amount of caffeine. Only a doctor could tell me whether two cigarettes is harmful