relationship advice for please

gayleygoo

I don't see anything wrong with a pregnant women having an occasional smoke or small drink - many women I've known who've been pregnant have treated themselves to this a couple of times along the way, maybe as a treat or because they were very stressed. As long as they weren't regularly drinking or smoking it wasn't judged poorly. My relatives have always offered me alcohol (say, a small glass of wine) when knowing I was pregnant and actually been surprised when I turned it down.

However, if you are at a party with lots of people you don't know extremely well then they may well think you are smoking and drinking more often, without regard for the baby. I am pregnant at the minute and if I were to have the energy for a wee drink or the sudden urge for a rolly, then it would only be done in the privacy of my own home and not in front of anyone but close friends that I could explain it too (actually haven't felt the need for that, but I've still got 5 months to go, so can't say I won't!)

I would hope that the OP's husband would not judge her for the wee smoke and shandy since he clearly knows it's not a regular thing.

Have a talk with your hubby OP, and find out what bothered him - we don't know any more than you do! Talk about how he made you feel, and maybe try to agree on how you could both improve your social occasions in future.

Gigglepig

Hm... Even if the OH agrees with OP and does not think it does any harm to smoke/drink perhaps they are concerned it looks bad. if I took a family member to a party and they drank and smoked while 37 weeks pregnant I would be embarassed for them. If it was a work do, I would be embarassed for myself. Especially if it was his work mates - the (first) impressions you make reflect (badly) on him. I see a party with workmates not as an occasion to let my hair down, but more as a networking event/an extension of my professional life so try to behave in a classy and professional manner. Smoking roll-ups and drinking shandy while pregnant and with a 2-year old in tow does not paint a picture of a classy professional couple, does it? Could this be why he was distant afterwards?

FBaby

Oh maybe he was a bit dismayed that having refrained from both behaviours for 37 weeks, OP thought it ok to suddenly indulge, seeming to be out of the blue.