Baby steps to mortgage freedom for beanielou.

beanielou

girlatplay said:

I don't think people would listen to me IRL, apart from my lovely mum.  I appreciate when people take the time to read my drivel on here.

It can't be easy for you, having to deal with what you do but you are always supportive of everyone on here and that means a lot too.

Thank you xx

EssexHebridean

beanielou said:

I think even if the meeting with the CEO goes well I am done.
I feel this whole little episode has already done the damage & I feel my position is now untenable & I do NOT like how it has made me feel & how it has further erroded my fragile self confidence.

This stands out - please ensure that you do tell the CEO exactly that, and particularly that final 8 words. It’s so important that the organisation understands exactly how much damage the person who chose to speak to you as they did has done, and that it has consequences outside of their four walls. 

Sometimes, for our own self-protection, we need to simply say “enough” and step away I think - you have no responsibility to follow anything through from here unless you absolutely want to - and if something that was formerly a pleasure becomes a chore, or to be dreaded, then it stops adding value, and begins to take value away from life. Then indeed, saying “no, I am done” is absolutely the right path. 

beanielou

EssexHebridean said:

beanielou said:

I think even if the meeting with the CEO goes well I am done.
I feel this whole little episode has already done the damage & I feel my position is now untenable & I do NOT like how it has made me feel & how it has further erroded my fragile self confidence.

This stands out - please ensure that you do tell the CEO exactly that, and particularly that final 8 words. It’s so important that the organisation understands exactly how much damage the person who chose to speak to you as they did has done, and that it has consequences outside of their four walls. 

Sometimes, for our own self-protection, we need to simply say “enough” and step away I think - you have no responsibility to follow anything through from here unless you absolutely want to - and if something that was formerly a pleasure becomes a chore, or to be dreaded, then it stops adding value, and begins to take value away from life. Then indeed, saying “no, I am done” is absolutely the right path. 

Thank you so much.
I really appreciate the input.
It ties in beaufifully with what my DS said yesterday.
He said 'to park it' & move on.
One of the things I love about my DS is that he gets straight to the point in a way that I do not.
It is maybe not quite that simple in my head but I think you are both helping me make peace with what I am going to do.

milann

Beanie it’s their loss. You have put time and effort in and to be honest they don’t deserve any more of it. Put that time and energy into something new for you…..even if it feet up watching catch up tv 👍

beanielou

So a bit of help please.
The curtains in the spare room fit the windows, but are not up.
The curtain rail fits the window just, but there are no rings on the curtain rail.
Any clever idea on how to put curtains up for a couple of nights without palavar.
Thanks.

in_need_of_direction

No idea about the curtains sorry. Wanted to say that when a lovely person welcomed me to my first diary, I had no idea they had a disability.  I have since learned that you have more challenges than most and are therefore even more inspiring.  

Suffolk_lass

These are easy for curtains - we use them in our campervan for the shower. the bigger end goes over the rail, the thinner end goes through the ring or tape on the curtain. They will fit over a rail up to 32mm diameter (I use them for all sorts around the house, hanging bags of vegetables off them on the bookcase in the larder and so on!

Re your meeting with the CEO - You need to be clear about the impact this is having and has had on you. So maybe open that box and make a few notes on those things before you meet as it could be emotional and you need to be clear which points you want to make. I would be certain to convey the way it has made you feel. Then irrespective of anything else (different information from another person for example) this cannot be disputed. Your feelings are your own. It is a powerful negotiating tool I was taught, many years ago. They might be able to mitigate the impact a bit but your feelings are your own.

As to whether you go back, it depends whether stopping is more damaging to you than going back. Going back could be difficult, but needs to be compared with whether you can draw a line under it and move forward with a weight lifted. Or will it weigh heavy each time you think about it? You could treat the CEO meeting as a cathartic letting go for you, and an opportunity for them to detoxify their organisation

in_need_of_direction

Just to clarify, when I suggested you go back, it was for the purposes of seeing what is reported or minuted.  When dealing with clients who are resigning from board positions over something contentious , I always suggest that they do this after agreeing minutes and then leave a meeting.  That way, they get to see what will be on record. Once you resign, you do not see what’s reported.

beanielou

So.
I have made my final decision.
I will reply to the CEO's email & decline the meeting.
I am parking the whole thing.
It will be a long time until I forgot what was said & how that made me feel.
But I am 100% done.
I have indicated to the co-ordinator that I do not want any formal mark of my departure.
I know what was said & if the other party chooses to twist that then it says more about them than me.

beanielou

At @Suffolk_lass.
Fab info on hook thingys.
Have asked a friend to order me some as I dont have Prime.