Everyone thinks i'm gay but i'm not

Oim_Oirish

I have no idea why i'm doing this but i very much need to get this out because it is making me very anxious and i'm reverting to recluse mode again. To cut a long story short i suffer from STPD, schizotypal personality disorder. It used to affect me an awful lot when i was younger but after lengthy cognitive therapy sessions i learned to overcome the anxiety side of the disorder and control it. Unlike most people with STPD i'm very sociable and i do ramble on a lot which is the STPD but i convince people i just have a gregarious nature. Getting to the point, my STPD means i have no interest in relationships and i dont like getting close to people or intimate with someone. I have never had this desire and because of this i have never had a relationship. I dont really care about a relationship, to me it is not something that is necessary to have in my life.

I have been in the same job for 9 years now, i love my job and i'm comfortable, well i was comfortable with the people i work with. Now they all think i'm gay. They are all saying its okay to be gay and are fine with me if i come out with it. This all started because they have never seen me with a girlfriend or heard me talk about a girlfriend. I get on very well with women, better than i do with men for that matter. One woman at work fell for me. She's someone i trust, we have excellent camaraderie but i've never let her get close to me. She's somehow got close though and keeps asking me to go out with her, which will end the gay speculation. She doesn't think i'm gay and tells me to just let it happen and see where it goes. I have considered forcing myself to go through with it to end the speculation, i cant though because the thought alone makes me anxious. I dont want to tell people at work i have a personality disorder either because with them knowing it will make me anxious. The only person who knows i have a personality disorder is my boss, who has never told anyone as she knows the affect it will have on me if people found out.

My apologies for rambling, its the STPD kicking in.

Oim_Oirish

Is nobody available? I have an appointment with the hairdresser at 16:45. I will have to come back later.

Indie_Kid

Give people a chance. You haven't that long posted this!

Ozzuk

What does it matter? Live your life how you want, sleep with whoever you want (or don't). It's not like they think you killed someone.

ViolaLass

Does it matter if they think you're gay? If it does, and you're not, just tell them and that you'd like the speculation to stop as it's making you unhappy.

Don't go out with someone just to end the speculation.

Indie_Kid

I have been in a similar situation; but it was at secondary school. I had (and still don't) no interest in relationships at all.

Lily-Rose_3

Must be a bit annoying if you're not gay. (Although being gay is not bad or wrong, so it's not exactly an insult. It just must be frustrating if you're not, and people insist on saying you are!!!)

But if it gets you down, maybe tell them you have a girlfriend???

How stupid and ignorant of people though, to assume someone is gay because they have never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend if they're female.)

And how BIG of them to say it's OK if you're gay, and they will be 'fine with it!' *rolls eyes*

Don't sweat it. I personally wouldn't give a rats about what people think about me.

Pete36

You need to relax more. Some philosopher said we are mere spectators of our life and efforts to steer or control it are largely futile so relax up, enjoy the ride and stop thinking so much.

raven83

I really would just try and ignore it, you shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone, just do what you are happy with doing and forget everyone's opinions, they will soon get bored and move onto the next person if you don't bite at their comments.

j.e.j.

Oim_Oirish wrote: »

I have been in the same job for 9 years now, i love my job and i'm comfortable, well i was comfortable with the people i work with. Now they all think i'm gay. They are all saying its okay to be gay and are fine with me if i come out with it. This all started because they have never seen me with a girlfriend or heard me talk about a girlfriend. I get on very well with women, better than i do with men for that matter. One woman at work fell for me. She's someone i trust, we have excellent camaraderie but i've never let her get close to me. She's somehow got close though and keeps asking me to go out with her, which will end the gay speculation. She doesn't think i'm gay and tells me to just let it happen and see where it goes. I have considered forcing myself to go through with it to end the speculation, i cant though because the thought alone makes me anxious. I dont want to tell people at work i have a personality disorder either because with them knowing it will make me anxious. The only person who knows i have a personality disorder is my boss, who has never told anyone as she knows the affect it will have on me if people found out.

My apologies for rambling, its the STPD kicking in.

Sounds like harrassment to me.. :whistle:

Your private life is your own, not your workmates. What's it to them if you're happily single/a bachelor?

Lily-Rose_3

j.e.j. wrote: »

Sounds like harassment to me.. :whistle:

Your private life is your own, not your workmates. What's it to them if you're happily single/a bachelor?

Yes it is when you think about it.

It is bordering on harassment and bullying tbh. Not letting up on him and haranguing him. Very unpleasant behaviour imo.