Splitting the bill /taking turns to pay ??

ttoli

trailingspouse wrote: »

So, after you paid €60 to go for dinner and the cinema, she offered to pay for the coffee. Did you accept?

If you didn't, then she may very well be thinking - if he won't accept me paying a small amount for coffee he certainly won't like the idea of me paying for dinner.

Yes I did , though I actually half expected her to say , you got dinner so I'll get the cinema.

I'm going to scale back the spending and see where that leads

ttoli

PenguinJim wrote: »

I'm just being curious, but how do you know the OP isn't a woman?

I'm not , at least the last time I looked anyways

ttoli

Homeownertobe wrote: »

I think it's obvious what your 'point' was. It was to be nasty to the OP.

well it went right over my head :huh::huh:

Primrose

The next time you take her out, at the end od the evening I suggest you simply say to her jokingly "We're going to have to leave it for for two or three weeks before meeting up again or I will be bankrupt at this rate!"
And don' t suggest another date. If that doesn,t get the message sinking in and her suggesting either to pay next time or go Dutch in future, then she probably thinks she's onto a winner and is taking you for a ride.

Indie_Kid

Please don't do what someone did to me - he turned up and then informed me he had no money. I have no problem paying; but I wasn't too keen on the idea that I had to pay.

Lily-Rose_3

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Please don't do what someone did to me - he turned up and then informed me he had no money. I have no problem paying; but I wasn't too keen on the idea that I had to pay.

EEEK :eek: That doesn't sound good. It is a difficult one isn't it?

I mean, it's not fair that the man should always pay, but how does a man say to a woman who is always letting him pay, that he is peed off with it? (Without offending her.)

It may be as simple as saying next time, (before you order anything,) 'shall we go Dutch tonight?' And then just smile.

When me and my OH met, he paid for the first date, and then on the next one, I offered to buy the first drink. (He let me, but then bought the other 4 or 5 that night.) We went for a meal about a month after we met, and if my memory serves me well, we went halves.

I don't think ANYone should be expecting someone to pay all the time; even if they were better off financially. It suggests (very clearly IMO,) that they are a user and free-loader. Saying she may have 'old fashioned values' is a copout imo. I bet if the OP suggested she cooks and cleans and stays home and raises the kids, she would be right narked off!

Orlando_Virgin

I had this for a while. Then she came to the pub with my friends to meet them, everyone bought a round and when it came to her she said "I'm not buying a round, you invited me here" in front of my friends.

It annoyed me to say the least, as it is not a lot to ask to buy a round of 4 drinks. Especially considering she had already had 3 bought. I just took her to one side that night and explained that I thought it was very unreasonable and had upset me a little bit, I think it's a big thing that people do the courteous thing and at least offer (man or woman)

I think you should just be honest, if you care about each other like you say you do, it won't be a problem. If it is, then prepare yourself for either an expensive ride, or a swift exit left.

tgroom57

Good luck with the relationship.
A few thoughts-
When my daughter(s) go clubbing they spend about £60 a night - the cost terrifies me tbh but they are happy with it.
How much did a night's entertainment cost when you went out before you met her?
I think your cost seems high now because you are going out several times a week, whereas maybe before you met you went out less often.

If she offers to pay for something, accept. Wait for the time when she opens the discussion about how she can contribute, and have something reasonable and workable ready for that moment. My partner (disparate finances) suggested I pay towards the first round - but he is happy to place the order I hate having to order at a bar.