Splitting the bill /taking turns to pay ??

Person_one

duchy wrote: »

Do you ?
Seeing someone every other day for three weeks is roughly ten dates - Doesn't sound unreasonable. How many dates does it take you usually ?

It's been a long time since I got to 10 dates with someone, which I suspect is why you asked, I see what you did there.

I can see briefly mentioning your general level of comfort, money wise, partly to avoid situations like this, but in the first few weeks I generally prefer to talk about much more interesting stuff, or be doing things that do 'to involve so much talking! Going through the ISA statements can wait!

My point though, wa not about me, but a suggestion to the OP that her finances may not be in exactly the state he thinks they are.

Alias_Omega

I would always Pay, as she would be Paying later.. :P

ttoli

duchy wrote: »

I don't know too much about Cypriot customs but certainly my Turkish sister in law had some very traditional ideas about this kind of stuff (noting the OP is in Kyrenia)

Thanks Duchy , She is a Greek Cypriot (I live on the Turkish side) and is used to being looked after, Divorcee career woman and Yes they do have very traditional ideas !!! .

Soleil_lune

Flossie. wrote: »

This is definitely awkward. As some have suggested, it could simply be that she has grown up/been brought up with traditional values (and this includes men paying for everything!!) Or she could just be a user. We don't know, as we don't know her, and you haven't said much about her. Is she young? Older? Has she been married before?

We don't know enough about her to make an accurate judgement or give sound advice.

Other than saying that you don't want to go out unless she pays half the time, there seems little you can do. I can't imagine some women being impressed by hearing that though LOL. Even though it's a perfectly reasonable thing to say, as it would make things more fair.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I totally agree with you. Each person should contribute or at least offer to contribute half of the cost of the date.

But I agree with Flossie, we don't know enough about her to make an informed decision really. She could have old fashioned values? She might think the OP has old fashioned values and doesn't want to offend him? She quite possibly is just on the make? I'm sure it'll all come out soon enough.

I agree with these 2 posts, and judging by your last post OP, it sounds like she just has very old fashioned values, which MAY mean that she may eventually like to give up work and expect you to be the provider? Is that OK with you? If not, get out now.

balletshoes

ttoli wrote: »

Thanks Duchy , She is a Greek Cypriot (I live on the Turkish side) and is used to being looked after, Divorcee career woman and Yes they do have very traditional ideas !!! .

i'd suggest scaling back on the cost of each date you go on together, so go for a walk and a coffee rather than a meal or the cinema and coffee, rent a dvd and stay home together etc.

If she likes going out for meals/drinks/cinema etc a lot, maybe if you scale back a bit she will start suggesting she pays sometimes, to go out for meals etc.

duchy

Person_one wrote: »

It's been a long time since I got to 10 dates with someone, which I suspect is why you asked, I see what you did there.

Honestly I wasn't !!!

I was more thinking 10 dates over 3 weeks you'd know a lot more about someone a lot sooner than than ten weekly or couple of times a week dates.

It's the time spent together rather than the length of time you've known them sometimes.

duchy

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I agree with these 2 posts, and judging by your last post OP, it sounds like she just has very old fashioned values, which MAY mean that she may eventually like to give up work and expect you to be the provider? Is that OK with you? If not, get out now.

She works fulltime , earns decent money and is divorced. Doesn't sound THAT traditional.
Of course the OP may want a woman to settle down with who doesn't want to use childcare but would prefer to be a SAHM "eventually". That eventually could be a long time in the future - and the OP may see that as a long term ideal too but I'm not sure after three weeks nipping every romance in the bud for something that may or may not happen in five or ten years time is realistic.

Homeownertobe

Person_one wrote: »

It's been a long time since I got to 10 dates with someone, which I suspect is why you asked, I see what you did there.

I can see briefly mentioning your general level of comfort, money wise, partly to avoid situations like this, but in the first few weeks I generally prefer to talk about much more interesting stuff, or be doing things that do 'to involve so much talking! Going through the ISA statements can wait!

My point though, wa not about me, but a suggestion to the OP that her finances may not be in exactly the state he thinks they are.

I think it's obvious what your 'point' was. It was to be nasty to the OP.

PenguinJim

Peter333 wrote: »

I can imagine the replies on here if the OP was a woman...

I'm just being curious, but how do you know the OP isn't a woman?

trailingspouse

So, after you paid €60 to go for dinner and the cinema, she offered to pay for the coffee. Did you accept?

If you didn't, then she may very well be thinking - if he won't accept me paying a small amount for coffee he certainly won't like the idea of me paying for dinner.