We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum... Read More »
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Our 8 yr old cannot swim without floating aids.
Comments
-
Why are you pushing her?
Is she's not comfortable with letting go of the floats etc. it's not the end of the world for now. You're going to turn it into a phobia if you force her to feel terrified of the water.
Just let her enjoy her lessons however she feels comfortable. She's not going to still want arm bands when she's 14. She'll get there in her own time when she feels confident enough."One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
Not quite the same issue but our now 8 year old started to learn to swim and then quickly had to stop (roof became unsafe on the pool we were using). After probably a year we managed to find both boys new lessons, but whereas the older one had managed to swim before the break and picked it up again, the younger one went back to square one and being fairly "assertive" refused to really engage with it. Gradually he did pick up some skills but like the daughter in the OP he stayed quite stubbornly against actually swimming.
The way we broke it was to book a weeks holiday (in the summer when we'd normally be away) in a complex of cottages that had shared use of an indoor pool. At his swimming lessons they had a fun session at the end of term when parents could join in and they had loads of inflatables in the water - he got quite into a particular "manta ray" thing so we found one on ebay for a few quid and got that. So whilst we were away we just used the pool every day - no agenda, he was allowed to wear armbands, use inflatables etc. By the last day he'd got so used to it we managed to persuade him to swim a bit without any aids. We're only talking the width of a small pool so maybe 5metres tops, however it broke the barrier and he's now swimming fine. Funnily enough we were looking back this morning after his swimming lessons at the weekend where he was really working hard on specific strokes to the fact that it was summer 2011 when we had that holiday. (I should say that despite swimming a bit unaided on holiday he was still using aids to some degree when he went back to lessons whilst he built technique etc).Adventure before Dementia!0 -
Why are you pushing her?
If she didn't want the lessons, the decision would have been easy. We would have stopped immediately or taken a break with lessons. She loves going to the lessons and does not want to stop. It is the transition from floaters to no floaters, even just attempting to try, is where the problem is.
Anyway, I have talked to the teacher again today. We have decided to continue until December. She will keep her floaters for now. He said we can discuss this again in a couple of weeks to see if she is willing to give a try with no floating aids. Otherwise like a few suggested, we may take a break from regular lessons and just go for a splash in the pool.
Thank you to all who took their time to read and reply.SPC 08 - #452 - £415
SPC 09 - #452 - £2980 -
With respect may I ask why you need your little girl to swim? Do you live near water? Is there a daily risk for her? It does seem it's become a big issue between you which may well be putting her off doing what she feels safe and secure doing, ie using the float aids. As others have suggested it would seem better to take her to the pool/river/sea when you go but not say a word about her going into the water. No doubt she will let go of the float aids when she's ready, not when someone else thinks is the right time. Or not, it's not the end of the world if she doesn't want to but I should think she'll feel quite self-conscious about using them when she's in her teens and want to let go of them by then. Agreed swimming can be a sociable thing to do and as a mother I do understand you want her to be safe.
I lived by a river throughout my childhood and wouldn't swim at all, my parents taught me about water safety and fortunately I never had the need to put that lesson into practise.
Incidentally I'm now a grandmother and my new project is to learn to swim0 -
When I was a kid I was frogmarched to the swimming pool by parents who couldn't swim but I never learnt until I wanted to learn when I was about 25.
The issue I had was not the swimming as such, but the difficulty in getting my feet onto the bottom when I wanted to stop. I'm 6'6" but I practiced gliding and stopping in the baby pool until I could do it, and then I was swimming lengths in the big pool within a couple of sessions.0 -
With respect may I ask why you need your little girl to swim? Do you live near water?
I lived by a river throughout my childhood and wouldn't swim at all, my parents taught me about water safety and fortunately I never had the need to put that lesson into practise.
...
Incidentally I'm now a grandmother and my new project is to learn to swim
No, we don't live near the water. We probably wanted her to be safe, when the time comes, to go with her school/class swimming or with friends.
I lived by the seaside too when I was a child and never learnt to swim, due to several factors. Learnt to swim as an adult a few years back, because I wanted to be around my daughter in the water, when she started swimming.
Good luck with your project. You will surely not regret it.SPC 08 - #452 - £415
SPC 09 - #452 - £2980 -
I don't and didn't like getting my face underwater - does she have good goggles that really work? I realise now sensitive eyes are part of my issue. By far my favourite stroke was the lifesaving kick that is breaststroke on the back, followed by sidestroke - I haven't really mastered crawl to this day.
Have you though of less buoyant floats?But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,Had the whole of their cash in his care.
Lewis Carroll0 -
I had loads of swimming lessons when I was a child, both at school and privately. My brother swam like a fish, my sis and I swam like bricks! Some people are natural waterbabies and some, like me (and theoretica) just don't like the feeling of water on our faces.
I eventually realised that I actually could swim after taking my son to swim when he was a baby. I managed to drag DH along a couple of times and we were just mucking around, he can swim underwater but not on top and I was showing him how I couldn't swim at all when I found that I really could! (It's not very elegant, I flap about all over the place!) I still can't swim underwater and I don't like being in deep water, it makes me catch my breath and I start to panic a little.
My sis (40 last month) has just started swimming lessons and it's going well for her, it can be done...even when you're "older"
OP, I see that you live in London so you're probably not more than 30 mins away from a decent pool with a wave machine, slides and so on. Most pools will have "family" sessions with all of the machines working and the floats in the pool, we used to love going to these sessions, they're much more fun than formal lessons. Get your daughter used to swimming for fun, she may well relax more and increase her confidence.
I paid a fortune for lessons for my son, just so that he would be able to swim with his mates when he was old enough. None of his mates ever go swimming because it's either "too cold", or "a bit gay" (??) and he won't go with me because he's a teenager and would rather die a horrible death than be seen out with his mother!
Don't fret too much, she'll get there in the end. Ease off on the pressure and let her just enjoy the water. It will probably all come together sooner or later."I may be many things but not being indiscreet isn't one of them"0 -
I think that maybe the private lessons are a bit much. Although teachers will teach them to swim, they try and teach kids to swim 'properly' with your face in, breathing to the sides thing. I can swim but can't swim properly like that. I don't need to put my face in and all that stuff to be able to swim.0
-
I grew up by the sea and spent most of my summer holidays on the beach and in the water. I had swimming lessons at school as well as private lessons, but I've never properly learnt how to swim. I'm not scared of water, I can kind of swim in the sense that I can move myself through the water, I just can't do it in the proper form.
Some people just can't swim, just like some people never get the hang of playing the piano or learning to speak french, no matter how many lessons they have. Maybe your daughter will never learn to swim, and that's ok. It's a good skill to have but I wouldn't call it essential, as long as she knows her limitations and is careful around water, as anyone should be regardless of their swimming ability. Maybe she will learn to swim later in life, but until then she can still have fun in the swimming pool.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 351.4K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.2K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 453.8K Spending & Discounts
- 244.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 599.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.1K Life & Family
- 257.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards