Our 8 yr old cannot swim without floating aids.

Baby_Angel · 26 October 2014 at 11:47PM

Our daughter is almost 8 yrs old. She started swimming lessons at the age of 5. She was extremely scared of water. We didn't take her to the pool when she was a little kid, as I myself couldn't swim. I had to learn swimming as an adult before she started her lessons. We have taken her swimming whenever we can ever since, but then she will only play in the pool.
For the first couple of lessons, she would only stand in the pool. Progress has been very slow since. Initially we thought that she wasn't getting much out of group lessons, due to teachers
constantly changing. After 2 years of only group lessons we went for one to one lessons. She has been doing 121 for the past five months. Only in the last 2 months, she had lessons continuously with the same teacher. He has been really good. She will swim with some floating aid, but wouldn't let go any of it. She always kept her face out of the water. We have tried bribes for every effort she makes. She is quite stubborn and now she says she will not swim without any floating aid, although the teacher thinks she really can. The teacher has also tried a lot of things with her. We can't blame him or his efforts.
I think swimming is an essential skill, but I believe forcing her will not achieve this. Unable to decide the best course of action. She is an only child and even peer pressure with her classmates or family friends hasn't worked out.
We are not sure how to continue with this. We can surely
afford the one to one lessons, as long as she needs it. However, if she doesn't want to do it, it seems pointless paying for it. Wondering if we should stop at least for a few months or a year and try again. Worried all the effort would be totally lost by then.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

notanewuser · 26 October 2014 at 11:51PM

Have you asked her about it?

(I learned to swim as a child, and we had a fortnight course in primary school in lifesaving etc. on the last day we were allowed to do whatever. I got pushed off a diving board by another child (16 ft above the surface into 16ft of water). I've been water phobic ever since.)

Flossie. · 26 October 2014 at 11:54PM

Yikes NANU, what a horrible thing to happen! :eek:

As for the OP's daughter, I literally don't know what to suggest, other than persevere. Keep taking her for the lessons once a week, and also go swimming as a family (or just you and her,) maybe twice a month?

She is still young and she will learn, eventually.

whitewing · 27 October 2014 at 12:01AM

Is she getting to the age when her friends will have swimming parties? She maybe could be persuaded to go floatless to prepare for that.

cte1111 · 27 October 2014 at 12:01AM

I think I'd have a break from the lessons for now. It sounds as if your daughter has probably learnt to swim but for whatever reason is choosing not to put it into practise.

It may well be that she's picked up on your anxiety or worry about not being able to swim (well done btw on learning now). I would think just letting it go and not making a fuss is more likely to alleviate any pressure she is feeling. Do they do school swimming lessons soon? In a different set up she might decide to take the final step of letting go of the buoyancy aids and swimming by herself.

SailorSam · 27 October 2014 at 12:13AM

Even if you take a break from proper lessons i think you should go the pool as often as you can, but without putting any pressure on her to learn. Just let her splash about in her own time.
Whitewing has it right, as she sees her friends swim she'll want to join in.

Baby_Angel · 27 October 2014 at 12:15AM

notanewuser wrote: »

Have you asked her about it?

She says she wants to learn. She will happily come to the lesson every single time. She does like it in the pool with all her floaters. But she has come to a stage where she should try a little with letting go of the floater. The teacher is right beside her all the time.

She has never had any "accidents" in the water. If anything, it must have been our anxiety like cte1111 suggested. She is about 2 years away from the school swimming lessons though.

Give her a break or persevere? :think:

Person_one · 27 October 2014 at 1:07AM

Does she ever go to a pool just for fun, one with slides, inflatables, lazy river etc. or is it always just lessons?

whitewing · 27 October 2014 at 8:15AM

Keep her going, but talk through the week about how great it will be when she has a go without the floats.

Baby_Angel · 27 October 2014 at 10:30AM

Person_one wrote: »

Does she ever go to a pool just for fun, one with slides, inflatables, lazy river etc. or is it always just lessons?

We do go to the pool for fun with friends, though not as much as we like . However there are no fun elements in it just a small pool where she can comfortably stand.

olgadapolga · 27 October 2014 at 10:31AM

If it was my child, I would stop the lessons but carry on going to the pool as a family and let her do what she wants, with no pressure. If she wants to use floats, then let her use floats. I say this because if there is one thing I have learned about children, it is that they will not do something until they are ready to do so. Once they WANT to do it, it is so much easier for them to learn. My youngest son resisted all efforts to get him reading until he was ready; once he wanted to learn, he mastered it very quickly indeed.