family visits / working full time

PlymouthMaid

Yes the distances between modern families makes regular contact very difficult.I was living 300 miles from my family when my children were between 0-12 years old and we would see my parents at least every 6-8 weeks but stay for 3-7 days either with them or them with me. Every Christmas was spent together too and still is. They built very strong relationships but this was easier as I was a stay at home Mum for some of those years and so of course could visit for a week in the school holidays. I remember staying with my own Nan for a week every Summer once I was beyond the very young years and it has given me lovely enduring memories. With four sets of GPs it must be so difficult to balance it all.

Indie_Kid

Sadly, we only tend to see most relatives when there's a funeral. And there's been a few of those this year.

Grandma, aunt and uncle live down the rad; so it's not too bad. Most of dad's family live a few hundred miles away and we hardly see them. In fact, I think the last time I saw them, (apart from nan's funeral) was when my dad's brother got married 9 years ago. Mum's dad and her stepmum live in Kent and they've been down once this year and have said they'll be down next year in April.

I would hate to have so little free time. Is there any reason why they can't visit you?

Errata

Ink in YOUR family's weekend family time to make a strong family unit and make everyone else fit around that. Kids need time 'me time' with their siblings and parents, not so much with grands/uncles/aunts

pickledonionspaceraider

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

chanie

We only have weekends free to see family, so I know how it feels. My mum lives about 15 miles away, but it's 15 London miles, so it takes the best part of an hour to get there, so it's a whole day visit. I go about once a fortnight.

I'm fairly selfish when it comes to family visits in that it has to fit into our routine and I make sure we have our own family time too, as I think that's really important.

I normally see my sister with her children at my mums, so it means we don't make seperate trips to see each other. Sometimes we do activities together with the children e.g. trip to soft play or too the park.

We often take our children to visit our parents without each other. The one that stays at home gets a rest and does the housework. That really helps with exhaustion.

I have an annual halloween party for the children and I invite all of the children in the family, so they all cone to us and means we do t have to plan a trip to them.

clairec79

I think I've only seen my brother three or four times in the past two years that wasn't at our parents (and once was my nan's funeral)

MadDogWoman_2

I have a standing agreement with my parents that they collect my daughter from school every Thursday, she is either taken out for a meal, their house or my brother's house for tea.

This is because they cared for my DD from the age of 9 months when I returned to work full time, I work school hours now so not as much help required and they miss her.

Despite living very near 1 of my brothers we rarely see each other as we have busy lives with work, hobbies etc.

My other brother lives over 20 miles away, again work and hobbies prevent regular contact. We are seeing each other on Sunday for his daughters 21st, that will be the first time I've seen him since DD's birthday in April.

In between times we don't chat on the phone or Skype, we don't have that kind of relationship.

With my DH's family I've recently put my foot down as I can count on 1 hand the number of times they have visited our house in 18 years; yet we are constantly visiting them and they live an hour away.

After a discussion with my DH we agreed to limit our visits as the behaviour of certain family members we didn't wish our DD to witness.

wendz86

We go down to visit our families usually at least one a month to two times a month. Thankfully our parents all live in the same area so easier. We usually stay with my parents and then go and visit DH's mum and dad separately for a couple of hours each. We usually combine seeing his sisters and nieces with his mum as well. My Mum usually comes here to visit at least once a month too.

duchy

Have a family Sunday once a month and invite everyone. (or every other Sunday afternoon if you need to keep exes seperate.
Why on earth are you the one expected to travel every time when you are the one working and with small children

Onetwothreefour

Lots of really good suggestions for me/us to think about. Like the starting point of what we need as a family rather than everyone else,...& yes you guessed correct pickledonionspaceraider its me trying to keep everyone together lol....Even though we alternate between visits to our home & GP's this still is a full day of the weekend.
Unfortuantly all the splits weren't amicable,so all together for a get together makes an interesting atmosphere :0) as you can imagine Christmas is similar.
Nice to hear others' perspectives otherwise will meet ourselves coming backwards!!