family visits / working full time

Onetwothreefour

Hi
Looking for ideas/solutions that others may be able to suggest to my dilemma.
How do families who work full time manage to juggle visiting grandparents & siblings so all is as equal as possible in time spent with grandchildren?
As both sets of grandparents are remarried this means there are four set of grandparents to consider,before siblings get a look in :0) .None live locally, so 'drop in' for an hour etc isn't possible, and would want to visit more frequently than once a month (atm this means we have one day at the wend as a family) , guess with children's parties etc to include in at some point when they are at school.
Do other people do a 'rota' system, but still retain family time too...trying not to feel guilty with the juggling!! Skype & phone is used in between visits.
Thanks in advance !

InsideInsurance

Which siblings? Your kids siblings? Your siblings? Your parents siblings?
Your grandparents or your kids grandparents (ie your parents)?

Once a month to see all 4 pairs or seeing one pair a month?

As a kid myself it was simpler as I only had one living grandparent and when we have kids it will be simple as they'll have one grandparent that they wont see and another one is 5,000 miles away. We used to see my gran 4-5 times a year with Xmas always being one.

If you are wanting to spend every weekend visiting one of the grandparents you really arent going to have that much of a life outside of family. That may be fine for you but personally there is too much of a world out there to see too.

Certainly with out family every 2-3 months one family member would be organising a big get together for one reason or another and that would be our main time spent with the rest of the family. Joys of parents with nearly 20 siblings between them

trailingspouse

Can they not visit you? Much easier.

Very many people live some distance from parents/grandparents, and manage fine with not seeing them all that often. When my daughter was born (north of Scotland) we had one set of grandparents in Sheffield, and another in Devon, and siblings in Canada, London and Liverpool.

Sometimes you just can't do it, and that's OK.

minerva_windsong

Is Skype an option? I know it's not the same as seeing them in person, but it could help as a stopgap as you can 'see' the person you're talking to, and you could also arrange to have regular Skype calls. My sister does that - she's married to a Kiwi so obviously they can't go over and see his parents all the time, but the Skype calls have been really helpful for them to stay in touch and for my nephew.

PlymouthMaid

I would hate having so little free time. Is there any way you could host groups of them together for afternoon Sunday tea or something? That could at least half the number of visits needed.

Onetwothreefour

Hi all thanks for your input...meant to read as my siblings so uncles to visit too!
I agree that having every wend booked up is too much, but was looking for others' perspectives/experiences, as one set of parents would visit every week!!

thriftylass

We visit grandpa once every three to 5 weeks (60mi away, skype every week) and the other set (7000 mi away, skype twice a month) once a year. Plus grandpa is nearby every few months and pops in and my parents come over once a year. One uncle plays football with OH every week. Other close family member we see randomly every few month for a coffee or dinner at theirs or ours. So on average every third weekend we see some family for at least half a day.

How far do the grandparents live away? Sorry don't take that the wrong way, but it's not your "fault" that there are 4 sets of grandparents (sorry, lack of better choice of words), but I would limit it to on set every two weeks at the most as you need time of just as a family too.

pollypenny

I think my heart would break if I could see my two little grandsons on FaceTime every week.

It's not ideal, but better than nothing as they are in the States.

When my two were children we would visit my parents, the other end of Wales , every six weeks. We wanted the children to know their grandparents. Unfortunately, OH's parents weren't interested in them.

jackyann

If you can, talk to the GPs and ask how this can be resolved - it will only get more difficult as the kids make friends, have activities etc.
How easily could they come & stay? Most families don't have room, but if there is somewhere nearby they can stay that may help.
We had one set of grandparents very keen on the sport that 2 of our boys played, so they would travel to watch them.
Could kids stay with GPs in the holidays? We did this quite a bit, but of course, lots of factors to consider.

I know a lot of far-flung families who get together to rent a villa or a youth hostel, or something inbetween for an annual get-together. Everyone doesn't have to be there for the whole time.

bylromarha

It isn't easy. We rarely visit - resolved to do a 400 mile round trip in a day about once every 3 months.

One GP not got a laptop or tablet, and is deaf on the phone.
Other GP seems reluctant to Skype, Viber, phone, text, however much we encourage...since birth of a local grandchild, our 2 have gone down the pecking order for priority contact.

So if you want to see the rellies that regualrly, good luck. We found it got draining though as we needed rest at the weekends, as do the kids.

maman

I think when you make a decision to not all live in the same town/community then the expectation that you'll see each other regularly stops.


When I was a child, one set of grandparents lived in the same street so we saw them most days. The others about 5 miles away so we saw them about once a week. However all but one auntie had moved to London so we only saw them perhaps twice a year, once when they visited my grandparents and once when we drove up to London to see them. In between they sent us birthday cards and Christmas presents.:D


Life is different now. Obviously you can do your best to keep in touch by phone or other technology but visits will be perhaps 6 times a year maximum and I would hope that'll be shared out between you going to them and them coming to you. I'm assuming that 'everyone else' lives close to each other so if you go back to their town you can pop in and see most of them.