Am I being bullied??

XME_WYWH:D

..........

asea

Yes - join a union

Call ACAS. Speak to HR about it if possible. This behaviour is unacceptable. To be honest it doesn't sound like he has any grounds to speak to you at all if he can't even find any examples to back himself up. Ask for a synopsis of the meeting in writing. Sounds like he has issues with you himself (jealousy perhaps?) & is using others as an excuse.

Good luck

fraoch

I agree with the above post. I was being bullied at work and called ACAS who were able to advise me that my contract was being broken by my employer not on one count but two.

Fen1

keep a work diary of everything you/boss/colleagues say and do, with times as well as dates. this will give you and your counsel something to work on.

the comment "too intelligent" certainly sounds as though he feels threatened by you - maybe that's why he's acting irrationally. bullies are often cowards.

it is impotant that you keep your calm - you are getting help, you are writing everything down, he's the one who is out of control and not you. being in a calm, professional state of mind is going to be your biggest challnge, i know, but it is also vital for you to be so in your work, infront of your colleagues, and for your case.

if it helps, take the weekend to sort out your options: you've been there five years. Perhaps time for a change? what training do you have? what are your goals? is working in an environment where you are not being stretched ( being "too intelligent" sounds as though you are far too competent for your job ) really a good work/life choice? there are options beyond your current job - view the possibilities positively.

DIRTY_CASH

Bullying doesn't have to be loud or agressive it can be silent and cold. Staff members regardless of position, that freeze out another like this need to be brought to book. Gestures, actions alienation, isolation etc - are all ground for complaint. The behavior itself seems to boil down to some kind of jealousness and this team leader is doing nothing to address it. If he can't provide some kind of evidence or explanation, he is making excuses. You can take this to his / her immediate superior should you chose. Compile some evidence and make your claim. Make sure you log anything that occurs that could be grounds for upsetting you and note anything, if anything that has been done to address it. It won't be easy but you deserve better.

Alternatively - the hardest thing of all - could be to talk to a colleague (if theres one who is more approachable than the others!) and find out what the problem is once and for all. This way you are making efforts to get along with the staff and cannot possibly ever be described as "difficult" to deal with.

Whatever happens - don't let these cowardly @rse0les get you down. If they were worth anything at all they would have the balls to let you know what the problem is instead of snivelling and snitching to boss who is about as useful as a paper p!ss pot.

Good Luck!

ben500

Put a request in writing for specific details of what exactly he has issues with "so that you are in a position to modify your behaviour if necessary" once you have something in writing you can then decide your next course of action, JOIN A UNION NOW

Kimitatsu

have to agree with all of the above. It sounds like you have a good case for sex discrimination if nothing else.

Take notes of everything and definately join a union. If things get no better then ask for a meeting with the HR dept, and your line manager. You will be allowed to take a union rep in as your "friend". It amy well be that the HR dept have no idea this is going on either and may be able to transfer you to another role.

Whatever you do not hae to put up with any of this, you have the right to work without being harrassed physically emotionally or mentally.

CFC

It's not easy to say from your posting whether you are the victim of a bit of colleague bullying or not, or whether you are perceived by your colleagues as a bit of a smarty pants and he's trying to get this across to you in a not very effective manner. (I am not saying that you are a smarty pants, but if you're a lot more intelligent that your workmates they may feel you are putting them down, even when you have no intention of doing so) I'm picking this as an example because it does happen on occasion when you have someone brighter than the rest....especially when that is a woman...

Ask for some written notes as an outcome from your 1-1. Tell them that you are happy to change your behaviour but you do need some solid indication of what they are having problems with, so-say, in order to change.

If your manager cannot or will not provide a written recording of your conversation, make a note of the date of the convo, the fact that you requested written notes, and that these were not forthcoming. At some point in the future you may want this record.

ceridwen

Sorry to hear about this.

You might be interested in

www.bullyonline.org/

a website specifically on bullying.

Could well be - as others have indicated - that the reason for bullying is you being more intelligent than most of your colleagues (or - at least - more so than the boss). If one is more intelligent than the person you are associating with in any context it is difficult to hide it (and anyway - why should you?). Dont do anything that could be deemed to be "boasting" about being more intelligent - a workplace like this is not the place to mention you have friends in MENSA/you read a "quality" newspaper/etc. As for things like - you speak in an articulate fashion in words of more than 2 syllables - they will just have to lump this - thats their problem (not yours) if they can barely string two words together.

Echo the advice you have had from others re joining a Union and keeping a diary.

Voice of experience here - I had bullying for years at work. Touch wood its stopped now - I think its down to several things - that they know I am keeping written records of everything, they know I'm not financially dependent on the job anymore (its so poorly paid I could easily replace it - I'm just staying for the pension) and (probably most importantly) they know I'm well aware of my legal rights and won't hesitate to go to Union/use those legal rights at the drop of a hat if I have to. So - by and large - I'm left alone to get on with my job in peace these days.

HappyG1rl

XME_WYWH:D wrote: »

Hi, I really don't know where else to post this but need some advice.

I've tried to put a lot of things down to people being grumpy and having off-days so to speak for a while at work. Now I'm wondering if what I'm putting up with is considered bullying and if so what to do about it.

I've been with this company for just over 5 years and I'm the only female but not sure if my gender has anything to do with what's happening.

I work nights and last night the shift supervisor asked for a 1:1 chat. During the chat he said he wasn't happy with my attitude and others have been complaining apparently. I asked if he could provide examples and he couldn't. I asked if my work was not to standard and he said my work was fine. He asked me to provide suggestions on how to improve and I said that I'd need more to go on and that I wasn't trying to be difficult but he just wasn't being clear. He said he thought I was being difficult and that he doesn't have my level of communication (FYI - In the past he's accused me of, and I quote, "being too intelligent").

I can't talk to anyone at work as some of the things that are getting said behind my back are out of context with what I've actually said so there's obviously others that are !!!!!ing about me and I've no idea what I've done to deserve this.

I really feel for you as this situation sounds horrid - however I'm not sure that I agree with other posters who suggest you contact ACAS and I certainly can't see that you have any case for sex discrimination from the info you have given. Because you are the only female and have been spoken to about your attitude doesn't mean you have been discriminated against - or am I missing something here?

I agree with Ben500. If I were in your position I would go back to my supervisor and request information to support his claim regarding your attitude and I would want specifics on complaints from others. If he can't or won't provide this then I would contact HR and invoke the grievance procedure.

You mention that people have been talking behind your back and have things out of context - how do you know about this? Is it these things that your supervisor is referring to?

You have been there for 5 years and they are happy with the standard of your work. Surely if they thought you have an attitude problem it would have been raised before now?

Is there anything that has changed recently (e.g. is the supervisor new to the role?). It is difficult to know what else to advise but perhaps if you felt able to be a little more specific more help might be available.

I think you are doing the right thing by minimising conversation with these people but please make sure you don't give them the opportunity to say that your lack of communication gets in the way of getting the job done.

Best wishes to you.

Toots

ceridwen

Bingo - postscript. I have just toddled off and looked up TUC website myself

http://www.tuc.org.uk/tuc/unions_main.cfm

as relevant page and they have several suggestions as to how to work out which is relevant Union for you. I just tried one of them and put in "IT" and reply was to suggest the following if you are in a firm with significant number of IT staff:

Amicus
Connect
Prospect
PCS

as all being Unions with a noticeable number of IT staff. Suggest googling for their websites to have a looksee.

Best Wishes.