DH not being so dearest!

Mrs_Ryan

Define normal? I haven't had sex with OH in about five years due to medical issues on my part. We get by- it's no big deal. Penetration is not the be all and end all..

Gavin83

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

Define normal? I haven't had sex with OH in about five years due to medical issues on my part. We get by- it's no big deal. Penetration is not the be all and end all..

I guess normal is defined by the couple. As long as both people are happy frequency isn't an issue.

Gloomendoom

Gavin83 wrote: »

Is once a week really normal? I don't actually think I could be in a relationship that was any less than 4 times a week.

I consider sex drive in a similar category to children or marriage, its something you need to agree on or the relationship just won't work. If your sex drives are that different maybe you're just not compatible?

Agreed........

System

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Agreed........

Another agreeing, i think it dies need to be similar. My ex was content with once a week where as i'd like it much more frequently (lol liike twice a day)

maman

Didn't want to read and run so just stopping by with a big hug.

duchy

You said the best thing about him was he was good in bed.....but even that isn'tattracting you at the moment (and hardly surprisingly he sounds like an insecure bully who is feeling threatened by your new business). You are younger than him by a long way, you have better prospects than him - and wants to hold you back (evidenced by sabotaging your Rotory meeting with a row).

He has a past history of cheating on his wife, he works in an enviroment where it is offered on a plate to him.......is there any possibility that the new successful you deep down would like him to cheat so you can leave him as his drug taking and insecurity about your success is simply a complete turn off ?

Bullies can be hard to stand up to - but if he cheats then you'd have every reason to leave the marriage and he'd have no justification to stop you.

Pollycat

Gavin83 wrote: »

Is once a week really normal? I don't actually think I could be in a relationship that was any less than 4 times a week.

I consider sex drive in a similar category to children or marriage, its something you need to agree on or the relationship just won't work. If your sex drives are that different maybe your just not compatible?

Gavin83 wrote: »

I guess normal is defined by the couple. As long as both people are happy frequency isn't an issue.

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Another agreeing, i think it dies need to be similar. My ex was content with once a week where as i'd like it much more frequently (lol liike twice a day)

But what starts out as a frequency that both people want can change to something that both parties don't feel happy with.
It can be for a number of reasons - children, health issues (as per Mrs_Ryan), stress.

The key is talking about it to each other and (hopefully) agreeing on a compromise or solution.

Not throwing a childish strop or threatening to 'get it somewhere else' like the OP's OH.

hgotsparkle

Pollycat wrote: »

But what starts out as a frequency that both people want can change to something that both parties don't feel happy with.
It can be for a number of reasons - children, health issues (as per Mrs_Ryan), stress.

The key is talking about it to each other and (hopefully) agreeing on a compromise or solution.

Not throwing a childish strop or threatening to 'get it somewhere else' like the OP's OH.

I agree with that, its down to the couple and I think its extremely important to have the same sex drive.
My OH commented last night that it had been a week, I hadn't really noticed as I'd had a busy week. He didn't say it nastily, just in a jokey way but we soon made up for it.

There have been times when hes had a sports injury or done his back in at work that has meant we have gone without for month due to him being in pain. We never needed to discuss that as I was perfectly ok with that, because I don't want him in pain and I don't want him to feel worse. Likewise, when I had a gynae problem, we didn't for a while then and he understood and never complained.
If you're not o the same page about that kind of thing, its not going to work, someone will always end up feeling hurt.

Gloomendoom

In times of injury and illness, sometimes it helps to think outside the box.

So to speak.

hgotsparkle

Gloomendoom wrote: »

In times of injury and illness, sometimes it helps to think outside the box.

So to speak.

Unfortunately in my OH, his sports injury was a torn muscle that went into his groin!