Nightmare Neighbour - What to do :(

Argghhh

if your landlady is ever so nice ask them to install some soundproofing - you can get soundproofing plasterboard from B+Q - failing that lots of egg boxes

Ambiguous_Scribbles

Hi Everyone

Thanks for your responses - a good mix of tough love, tough luck and some kind ones.


I've now got in touch with the ASB Unit at the local council, who think they know the grandson as a repeat offender, and they've offered to mediate between me and the Granny.


It's not that I begrudge the guy making a cup of tea and a bacon sarnie after a night out, but when it's on a weeknight it's not fair to be so consistently loud, and I also don't think it's at all right for him to punish his Granny by shouting at her when I ask him to be quiet.


I've decided to try the mediation, but obviously if it doesn't change, then I need to look at something else. I've been told to call the non emergency number if the disturbance warrants it, and I'm filling in a diary for the ASBU to send them weekly.


The landlady is going to have a problem with this guy whether it's me living there or someone else, so I feel it's worth trying to sort it out, as she may struggle to get another tenant willing to put up with the shouting and aggressive banging about. I know a few of you seem to think that it's me and my anxiety that's the problem but I'm willing to bet that if you tried to sleep with the racket that I hear, that you'd think differently.


The Landlady offered to get soundproofing put in the bedroom, so I'm going to take her up on that, because if I do move out it may be handy for someone else to have it in there and at this point anything's worth a shot.


I'm lucky enough that I've got a big attic room, which I wasn't that keen on sleeping in (being stubborn and not really thinking things through), but my Mum's pointed out that I could really make it into something lovely with a little bit of money and some creative thought. I'd probably be able to get some kind of bed up there, even if it was just an inflatable mattress and a nice nest of blankets and duvets.


I don't feel that I should be expected to move or change my behaviour for someone who is clearly taking advantage of their situation.


Thanks again for all the responses, it was good to hear so many varied views.

zebulon

Ambiguous_Scribbles wrote: »

Hi Everyone
I'm lucky enough that I've got a big attic room, which I wasn't that keen on sleeping in (being stubborn and not really thinking things through), but my Mum's pointed out that I could really make it into something lovely with a little bit of money and some creative thought. I'd probably be able to get some kind of bed up there, even if it was just an inflatable mattress and a nice nest of blankets and duvets.

Sounds nice! I'd personally love a little project like that, to make this space all cosy. :coffee:

moneyistooshorttomention

Ambiguous_Scribbles wrote: »

Hi Everyone

Thanks for your responses - a good mix of tough love, tough luck and some kind ones.


I've now got in touch with the ASB Unit at the local council, who think they know the grandson as a repeat offender, and they've offered to mediate between me and the Granny.


It's not that I begrudge the guy making a cup of tea and a bacon sarnie after a night out, but when it's on a weeknight it's not fair to be so consistently loud, and I also don't think it's at all right for him to punish his Granny by shouting at her when I ask him to be quiet.


I've decided to try the mediation, but obviously if it doesn't change, then I need to look at something else. I've been told to call the non emergency number if the disturbance warrants it, and I'm filling in a diary for the ASBU to send them weekly.


The landlady is going to have a problem with this guy whether it's me living there or someone else, so I feel it's worth trying to sort it out, as she may struggle to get another tenant willing to put up with the shouting and aggressive banging about. I know a few of you seem to think that it's me and my anxiety that's the problem but I'm willing to bet that if you tried to sleep with the racket that I hear, that you'd think differently.


The Landlady offered to get soundproofing put in the bedroom, so I'm going to take her up on that, because if I do move out it may be handy for someone else to have it in there and at this point anything's worth a shot.


I'm lucky enough that I've got a big attic room, which I wasn't that keen on sleeping in (being stubborn and not really thinking things through), but my Mum's pointed out that I could really make it into something lovely with a little bit of money and some creative thought. I'd probably be able to get some kind of bed up there, even if it was just an inflatable mattress and a nice nest of blankets and duvets.


I don't feel that I should be expected to move or change my behaviour for someone who is clearly taking advantage of their situation.


Thanks again for all the responses, it was good to hear so many varied views.

Sounds like some very positive thoughts on how to tackle the situation here.

I'd be calling the attic your Hobbit Hole in your situation and try to set it up as a cosy little bolthole. Maybe drapes across the ceiling/lots of big cushions/etc? Re making up a bed there - those feather-filled mattress toppers can make even quite a hard "mattress" base feel nice and comfortable. Don't buy the foam ones though, as I bought one and it literally stank to high heaven of nasty chemicals and I took it back and got a refund on it (didn't fancy either the smell or the worries about what those chemicals might do to my health).

But - feather-filled = luxury:)

Don't hold your breath, but people like him often self-destruct in some fashion or other. So, there is always the possibility he will do that in some fashion or other (crime causing him to go to prison/drink "wearing him out" rather "fast"/etc) and then he might be off your plate at some point. Not all the nasties self-destruct..some are tough old boots who almost seem to derive "life blood" from being a right pain (certain neighbour of mine = I'm looking at you:cool:), but he is the type of "nasty" that might well self-destruct and that's that at that point.

Good luck.

Ozzuk

You seem to have ignored the most obvious solution in your reply, as others have said - good earplugs. Your walls sound very thin, you're lucky they aren't playing music or anything.

Before you try moving rooms, extra soundproofing, escalations etc, just try earplugs, many people sleep happily with them.

moneyistooshorttomention

Earplugs = well depends.

Personally, I've found they help, but aren't really a complete answer and I am not happy personally at the thought of a "foreign body" in my ears for ages. Add the fact of "Can you be sure you will hear anything you actually want to hear, eg your alarm clock in the morning?" and they help to some extent, but I don't find them the answer personally and have yet to find any that guarantee complete silence.

Lavendyr

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Earplugs = well depends.

Personally, I've found they help, but aren't really a complete answer and I am not happy personally at the thought of a "foreign body" in my ears for ages. Add the fact of "Can you be sure you will hear anything you actually want to hear, eg your alarm clock in the morning?" and they help to some extent, but I don't find them the answer personally and have yet to find any that guarantee complete silence.

I have real sleep issues - the slightest noise disturbs me. I can't sleep without earplugs. I buy in bulk from Ebay - they're very cheap, each pair is individually sealer and you can wear one pair per night. They don't give you complete silence, but they really really help. And I can hear my alarm in the mornings with absolutely no problems (on my phone, turned up loud for alarm but silent for all else). I really recommend it.