Being accused of intimidation & bullying

MissD

gettingready wrote: »

and instead of closing down her yahoo email you went snooping???

jesusssssssssssss :eek:

when it says in black and white in front of you that she is threatening to punch your face in, and berates both me and my mother then what choice do I have! what would you do?!

Catcherupper14

Officelady wrote: »

I see what you mean totally but I was just shocked she could have just said calmly I don't want you to do that I told you what to do so do that she didn't need to scream it at us we are not confrontational people we did as told & continued without a hitch &a fair point if she thinks she was being undermined but I wouldn't say that's the same as bullying

I agree, FEELING undermined is not the same as being bullied.


I think that the word "bullying" has become mis-used in the workplace - it is bandied about by people who are told to do something and don't want to - and this undermines the genuine cases, of which there are too many.

MissD

MissD wrote: »

when it says in black and white in front of you that she is threatening to punch your face in, and berates both me and my mother then what choice do I have! what would you do?!

I think also when both my colleague and the temp were *having a go at me* and making snide comments in front of me and to other colleagues about me then the emails pale away by comparison don't they?

Officelady

Is this grounds for dismissal

MissD

Catcherupper14 wrote: »

I agree, FEELING undermined is not the same as being bullied.




I think that the word "bullying" has become mis-used in the workplace - it is bandied about by people who are told to do something and don't want to - and this undermines the genuine cases, of which there are too many.

OK another case - sister of good friend of mine, she's being bullied in the workplace, the supervisor refuses to speak to her and turns her chair away from her, as well as other evidence. Gives bad and unfair appraisals etc. That can be considered undermining AND bullying which often can tie in.

Also people don't realise that if you're being gossiped about, run down in the office this seriously affects your self esteem AT WORK!

Hedgehog99

1) Join the union (you'll get advice, representation and your employer should be extra careful to follow the proper procedures under union scrutiny)
2) Although with hindsight it is a shame you didn't act at the time, don't blame yourself. Who wants to be the one to stir things up? I've fallen into the trap before myself - let minor things lie and, before you know it, the other party has been pleading their case to someone in authority and their view of you is already tarnished. Some colleagues go whining to their boss over the smallest things that should just be forgotten.
3) Keep a diary from now on, and, if you can get retrospective info (e.g. email you sent to a friend), include that.
4) Seek support online - search for bully online.
5) Be prepared that workplace relationships will never be the same again after this kind of thing, but only move jobs if you want to & if you find something better.

MissD

Catcherupper14 wrote: »

Continuation of previous post:


I don't think that the circumstances that you relate justify your manager shouting at you in public.


I am sure that there are two sides to this.


I also believe that it could have been resolved by sitting down together, with someone from HR helping to mediate if necessary.

Mediation is great but often doesn't work. In my case meditation was offered but as they refused to admit they were bullies they didn't want mediation! add in lack of a HR dept and you have a problem.

MissD

Hedgehog99 wrote: »

1) Join the union (you'll get advice, representation and your employer should be extra careful to follow the proper procedures under union scrutiny)
2) Although with hindsight it is a shame you didn't act at the time, don't blame yourself. Who wants to be the one to stir things up? I've fallen into the trap before myself - let minor things lie and, before you know it, the other party has been pleading their case to someone in authority and their view of you is already tarnished. Some colleagues go whining to their boss over the smallest things that should just be forgotten.
3) Keep a diary from now on, and, if you can get retrospective info (e.g. email you sent to a friend), include that.
4) Seek support online - search for bully online.
5) Be prepared that workplace relationships will never be the same again after this kind of thing, but only move jobs if you want to & if you find something better.

Your advice is very good. I'd advise leaving though, job hunt in order. I only just got another job which I start soon recently and best thing for me should have done it ages ago.

Officelady

I'm about to go on maternity I shall not be leaving the job

Catcherupper14

Whether it is grounds for dismissal or not will depend on the terms of your contract. You should be able to find out from your HR.


I would treat workplace bullying as misconduct, but probably the nature of the offence would determine whether it was gross misconduct (immediate dismissal) or misconduct (written warning).


However I would look at the behaviour of all parties and the course of conduct. I would also be keeping a very close eye on them afterwards, if they were still in post. An employer has a duty of care towards their employee and allowing their mental health to suffer because they are being picked on breaches that duty of care.


I agree with a previous poster that raising a grievance now would be counter-productive.