financial settlement

sandman4355

Hi all , I'm feeling pretty miffed and struggling to come to terms with my ex wife's demands, and wonder if its reasonable what she is asking. Thanks in advance for any input.


Background: ex cohabited with me from may 2010, our only child was born march 2012, we married September 2012, she left me for a new man in May 2013, and has lived on benefits since leaving.

I am a self employed farmer, in partnership with my father, I have always received 25% of the profits which total around £9000pa. The last four years i have drawn all of it as a wage. i also get a rent free house.
I also have a capital account within the business, worth 62000, which has built over 20years, through year on year profits, and when, as a young lad my drawings were just couple of grand a year.

From the day she left me, I have paid her £200/month in spousal support and £100/month in child maintenance. i have also paid £900pa for the none subsidized element of nursery fee's, as my ex put our daughter in nursary 3 days a week.
I have also cared and housed my daughter 4days/3nights per week.

Decree absolute came threw September 2014.

I think that's everything!

Now.. a month ago we attended mediation, I showed my accounts she said she had no interest in taking anything out of the farm and we agreed i would continue to pay spousal maintenance until our daughter started school, and i would also pay half towards uniforms and school trips. It seemed a fair deal to me.

Two weeks later i had a letter from her solicitor saying i am to pay whats was agreed plus £25,000 to my ex within 42 days as there is a young child involved and my ex has great need for it.

I will just add that my capital account is not a box full of cash, that i can just dip into, its basically my worth within our business should i pull out one day, and its tied up in the livestock and equipment i work with.

Do not get me wrong, i am not adverse to paying, but i question as to why when Ive had my daughter 4 days a week, AND paid to place her in nursery the other 3days why my ex couldn't get a job and learn to support herself.

It just seems unfair, that i should have to sell my mum and dads livestock to pay her off, but maybe fairness doesn't come into it? Any thoughts or past experiences would be appreciated.

bagpussbear

I think you need to involve a solicitor, and quickly.

Why are you paying spousal support? was this a formal/legal agreement ordered by the court etc, or something you agreed to between yourselves?

sterlingstash

What does your solicitor say? I have no idea about this stuff, but it seems pretty obvious that it is worthwhile seeking some professional advice here.

sandman4355

i consulted a solicitor within a month of her leaving because her dad was demanding i pay her spousal maintenance, my solicitor advised if we could come to an agreement between ourselves it would be better in the long run. He also advised she couldn't claim "non matrimonial" assets as it was too short a marriage. But since her solicitors letter he seems to have changed his tune, and says it maybe i will have to pay a lump sum as well.

BitterAndTwisted

This is what the courts call a "short marriage" and they generally seek to return each partner to the position they were in before the marriage took place.

To be honest, what you are currently paying is generous to the point of lunacy.

You have your child for half of the week yet you're paying her £300 a month plus £900 a year for a nursery. That's more than enough, I would say.

Contest any share of the business! That's not hers and never was. A solicitors letter wouldn't have cost her much out her very lavish £300 a month plus benefits. I doubt she'd have the stomach for court.

See if you can get back in to mediation rather than getting legal in the first instance.

Why are you paying her spousal maintenance?

You have your child 4 days/3 nights and the child is in nursery 3 days, so she only looks after her own child for three afternoons/evening in a whole week! Plenty of time to be spending with this new bloke.

She's being completely and utterly unreasonable. Courts generally award a parent with 15% of the other parent's income and as you have your child half of the week you should be paying her half of that. So, 7 1/2% of your gross income is not £300 a month. Nothing like

The bloody nerve of her!

bagpussbear

sandman4355 wrote: »

i consulted a solicitor within a month of her leaving because her dad was demanding i pay her spousal maintenance, my solicitor advised if we could come to an agreement between ourselves it would be better in the long run. He also advised she couldn't claim "non matrimonial" assets as it was too short a marriage. But since her solicitors letter he seems to have changed his tune, and says it maybe i will have to pay a lump sum as well.

Ok, so basically there is no legal order in place that you should be paying spousal maintenance. So you need to stop that immediately. They can't come after you for something that you are not legally obliged to pay!

Child Support, I would advise you to look at the CSA website and calculate what you should be paying each month for your child, and inform your ex-wife that the next payment will be exactly that going forward.

Contact a solicitor tomorrow, and do not pay a single penny that is being demanded (bar the child support) from her solicitor without proper legal advice.

Your ex and the solicitor is trying it on! I'd be very angry in your shoes, if she can't be bothered to get a job then let her new fancy man support her

I've no idea about capital accounts etc so not sure what her entitlement is, if anything. But I hope it's a fair conclusion for you. Good luck!

BitterAndTwisted

In a short marriage each party leaves the marriage with the assets they brought to it.

The child-support is a separate issue. She entitled to 7 1/2% of the OP's £9k per annum. I'd be paying that and not a single bloody penny more unless a court decided differently!

She is not entitled to single penny out of the business and she should be told to eff off!

sandman4355

Thanks everyone for your advice, The "new man" didn't last long 3 months i believe, she even had the cheek to ask to come home!! Angry isn't the start of it, i forgot to mention she also took a car i bought 9 months earlier for 5k!! I guess the emoitional side of things made me agree the spousal maintenance sum, and it has become the norm, i've just paid it and enjoyed time with my daughter. But having just done a csa calculation it works out to be £9 week, maybe its time i start calling the shots?!

BitterAndTwisted

Why yes. Yes, it is

What's she doing on the seven days and four evenings a week she has free to work? Working or driving around in that car she stole from you?

I dunno what planet she's on but it's not the same one I inhabit.

mgdavid

I'm a bit concerned about your solicitor, is it the same firm you have used in the past for farm-associated issues? I would look around on the internet for a local firm that has a specialist matrimonial and family department, and consider using them. You need a rottweiler not an old labrador !

sandman4355

Thanks mgdavid they are a family law firm and my man is a legal executive, but i must admit I'm losing faith, there seems to be a lot of going through the motions and little concern about the situation. Perhaps its time for a change