ex boyfriend owes myself and my mum money

Acc72

Sounds like a controlling relationship to me (OP keeping receipts of train tickets to be repaid, renting flat from OP's mother, withholding possessions etc.).


If I was the ex I would just move on and forget all this stuff about Police and Solicitors etc.

DigForVictory

If you & your mum can afford it, one message - "all further communications will be via our solicitor".

If not, his stuff in binliners with a text to tell him where & then block him every way you can while your mum (who has a healthier looking legal case) can pursue him or not as she chooses.

Whatever you do - no unescorted, unwitnessed contact.

newcook

To be honest, I would tell him he has until X date to pay what he owes and if he doesn’t pay by that date then the goods will be sold.

How does he expect you to return the photos if there are too many to fit onto a memory stick? Is he expecting you to just hand over your laptop/computer?!?!

Sounds like you are better off without this leech in your life.

TBagpuss

|Report his threats to you, to the police, Explain to them that as far as you know, there are no stolen items and that the photographs he is talking about relate to places he has trespassed / broken into, not to anything more sinister, but that you are concerned about the threats, and want to log them as harassment in case things escalate. Get a crime reference number.

That way, if he does harass you further, you will find it easier to move to the next step towards getting a restraining order, or the police charging him. If he does carry out his threats (unlikely) then the police will already be aware of the situation and in the unlikely event that they did contact you you would be able to refer them back to your oiginal report.

In the mean time, don't meet him. Send him a message stating that you are happy to transfer his photos to an external drive if he provides one to you, but that you will be deleting them after 14 days as you fneed to free up the space on your hard drive.

In relation to his other items you can either put them in a bin nag, and tell him when and where they will be available for him to collect,. Make sure that you have a friend with you, and do not let him into the house.

Alternatively, tell him in writing that you propose to sell them in order to cover the outstanding money he owes you, but that you will, of course, be happy to make them available for him to collect if he is able to clear the debt in any other way. Again, give a realistic deadline. Make clear than in the event that the sale realises more than he owes, you will forward the balance to him and/or make any unsold items available for him to collect.

Either way, block him on all sites, and tell him (in writing and keep a copy) that he is not to contact you in any way and that you will consider it to be harassment if he does. If you paln to try to sell the goods then you need to leave one way for him to contact you, so state what it is ("ie. you must not contact me in any way except by e-mail solely in relation to arrangements to clear your debt")

However, if you can afford to do so I would go down the route to letting him have his stuff and drawing a line under the whole thing - you are likely to find trying to get the money out of him tricky and stressfull.

If he confirmed in writing what he owes you then it may be worth trying small claims.

madrhino

I would email him all his photos in loads of emails that would take him forever to download

Mallotum_X

Do you want the fight and hassle for the money?

I would consider whether for a few hundred pounds, most of which you are unlikely to be able to prove he really does owe, the hassle and stress is really worth it.

It sounds like you may well be better off without him, so in your shoes I'd take the view its just not worth dragging it out.

If you paid for any of the things still in your possession then maybe tell him that as you paid for these things you are keeping them, but the rest just hand them over.