ex boyfriend owes myself and my mum money

meer53

Whether you give him his things back or not, you aren't going to get any money from him. Tell him to collect them then you can close the door and never see him again.

Armorica

Don't bother meeting him, he's a waste of space. Put his stuff outside on a non-raining day and tell him to collect it - or leave it with a mutual friend.

Chuck the photos onto a USB stick and say you'll send a copy to him via registered post (you'll get his address that way

What he owes you is almost certainly lost/not worth the effort.

As he signed a tenancy agreement, then your mum's claim against him is stronger and would be easier to pursue.

danandjens_worldtravels

Hand over all his belongings to the police, tell him you handed in the stolen property, tell the police as soon as he informed you it was stolen goods you handed it in.

Hand over the computer and tell the police as soon as you found out there were dodgy pictures on there and are now handing it over.

OK this probably won't get you your money back, but it is exactly what he DOESN'T want to happen. Maybe you could threaten it, I doubt you will get the money back though.

I think in this instance, from how charming he seems, you will have to lose the battle to win the war. For an easy life hand his stuff over and breath a sigh of relief that you never have to see him or speak to him ever again!

tatieirregular

Thanks guys, I can't put the photos on a cd or memory stick as they total 400gb so I would have to buy a external hard drive and I can't afford to do that. He would sneak into places like the tube and I know how much trouble you can get in for that sort of thing, it was one of the reasons I split up with him because I didn't want anything to do with stuff like that. I think maybe he's making all these big overblown threats because maybe he's worried about the trouble these photos could land him in so wants to force me to hand them over before I realise how much trouble I could get him into. But I'm not really like that. I just have bills to pay and need the money back. So I guess I've got the upper hand really. But I just don't want to get into trouble myself in any way because that's teally not what I'm about!
Thanks again xx

Tigsteroonie

Are the photos on your computer? If so, "whoops, I had a catastrophic hard drive failure and they were all lost" might be in order

Lily-Rose_3

Armorica wrote: »

Don't bother meeting him, he's a waste of space. Put his stuff outside on a non-raining day and tell him to collect it - or leave it with a mutual friend.

Chuck the photos onto a USB stick and say you'll send a copy to him via registered post (you'll get his address that way

What he owes you is almost certainly lost/not worth the effort.

As he signed a tenancy agreement, then your mum's claim against him is stronger and would be easier to pursue.

This ^^^ :T

This puts me in mind of a quote I heard once, that went something like:

"If you lend someone some money and you never see them again, it was probably worth it to get rid of them."

This seems extremely appropriate in this case.

Oh, and get a restraining order against him if he hassles you.

Rev

What type of photos are we talking about here?

If he's threatening to tell the police they're yours they are clearly illegal and if that's the case is be right down the police station myself with them showing them the threats from your ex and handing in both the pics and the alleged stolen goods.

danandjens_worldtravels

Aahh that makes a lot more sense. I don't think the police will be bothered with you, its him they won't be happy with for going to places that he's not supposed to.

http://www.placehacking.co.uk/tag/london-underground/

Its a popular (and interesting) hobby - he's still a D$@K!

Tell him the computer is going straight to London Transport Police with his address if he doesn't pay up! Maybe if he realises you are not the easygoing moneylending mat he has wiped his feet on for 3 years he will stop bullying you and cough up!

Or you could sell his stuff and make some money if its anygood!

bagpussbear

You need to put this down to one of life's learning experiences.

The guy is a dog. You made a mistake of lending him money, and deep down you know you aren't going to get that money back, regardless of whether you give him his stuff back or not.

Don't be bullied or let him have the upper hand any more.

Contact him now and say that, on reflection, you don't want to meet with him, but he is welcome to all his stuff back and agree a time when he can come round to collect - make sure you have a friend or two with you when he comes.

It's worth it to get rid of him, and end this sorry situation.

As for the photos, tell him everything will be deleted and he is just going to have to trust you about that. It's your computer and you can delete what you like on that computer. If the photos were that important to him, he would have used a back up hard drive etc.

If he threatens you with the police etc, tell him to go right ahead - who are they likely to believe took the photos - you or your 'photographer' boyfriend ;-)

You do have more of an upper hand here than you realise.

pearl123

I suspect you won't get burned again! Put it down to experience and move on.