108 spiders are a girl's best friends

Msmoneyspider

Thanks DIA and SH,

I am not sure why I have had no success in losing weight since DS was born (21 years ago). I have tried every fad diet going and classically lose interest after about a month, shedding around 7lb. I typically put the whole 7lb back on (and more) in the gluttonous/boozy weekend that follows the month's deprivation.

I think the clues are in what I have just written. Dear friend lost her 5 stone when her daughter's health stabilised (bi-polar) and my DS' up and down emotions have influenced my eating patterns. He is in a very good place now and I am trying to 'love him enough to let him go', as he really can manage and wants to stand on his own two feet. He spent last summer in Greece and came back an adult and is planning to live there for a while once he finishes he degree, next year .

Fad diets don't work. I think the SW basic plan is very balanced and healthy and shows me clearly what foods sabotage. I think I could keep it up, for a lifetime and not just a month, if I watch my obstructive behaviour. This typically is taking on other people's emotions/responsibilities, over-commiting and failing to find the time to 'smell the roses' and be grateful for what I have got..

By nature I am a sunny optimist, if a bit introverted, but I got pretty dour and heavy, and my body reflected this. I don't blame anybody, not even myself, it was what it was. If anything I am grateful that I pulled through and so did DS and DH, but time for a new chapter.

Doing a refresher First Aid course for the next two days and I am taking all my food with me so two NSD's. I am contemplating an AF February …...:beer:

doingitanyway

I don't blame your DS for wanting to live in Greece for a while.

I am also thinking of an AF February as my occasional drinks seem to be creeping up...

Enjoy your course

savingholmes

I'm AF all year... .now chocolate that's another story!

My DS went to Oz for a study abroad year. Went back this Xmas and is contemplating emigrating. Hope your DS continues to enjoy Greece. What's their economy like now?

Msmoneyspider

I will commit to an AF February, thank you both for your comments. I am needing to tackle this weight loss, money control and self actualisation journey from many angles to make a success of it, reading diaries is helping me to see that It really has to be a tailor made solution as we are all unique, but there are common themes, particularly ….. that it is not easy, especially after a certain age!

Alcohol, nuts, cream cakes and toast with oodles of butter are my weak areas along with Friday night to Sunday night and any emotional dramas!

DS says it is difficult to get work in Greece as the economy is very slowly recovering from the economic crisis. He is saving hard and plans to take around £4,000.00 with him, so will not be dependent on finding work.

The ironic thing is, he has a condition that in theory should make learning a second language very difficult, as English was exceptionally hard for him to grasp, yet he is almost fluent in Greek already. Having a beautiful Greek girl, who he met out there, as his unofficial, online tutor and romantic interest, no doubt helps too …. He is very eager to impress.

That must have been an amazing experience for your DS Savingholmes and I can understand how tempting it must be to live abroad, exciting times!

[Deleted User]

My dd has had amazing success with SW after years of struggling with her weight and a numerous attempts at dieting. She has acheived what she set out to achieve and now has the occasional guilt free blow out but sticks to the plan the rest of the time- it's such an easy lifestyle choice to make once it's embedded and no resentment due to being unable to eat something, just at the limitation on how much you can have!

I think that the latter type of resentment is less likely to trigger the response to become an extreme craving, so easier to deal with

I understand your need to step away from something which no longer fulfils the need it originally met - a lack of satisfaction in something which consumes so much of your time is soul destroying after a while; it's generally better to push something when it's slipping than to risk being dragged down.

I hope the AF Feb goes well for you

Msmoneyspider

Thanks Squirrelgirl, it is very encouraging to hear that your daughter has been successful with Slimming World and achieved her objectives, that is just what I needed to hear this morning. Your point about pushing something while it is slipping, really resonated too. Rock bottom is a very difficult place to recover from, although it can provide an extremely, solid foundation ……(Got the t-shirt and don't want another one!).

I did allow myself an enjoyable, controlled blowout last night. 3/4 bottle of red wine and two Aberdeen Angus, organic hamburgers (no chips or bun though), watching the last episode of the Crown (season 3). I had been Polly Perfect all week lol. It seems to have done the trick! I am now starting my AF February and I will really embed the SW ethos in my brain.

By the 29th of February 2020:-

I am 175 pounds.
I have £17,000.00 in business reserves.
I have a kondo bedroom - ready for refurbishment.

I received a couple of unexpected cheques, which related to January, totalling £63.00. I will pay these forward and they will go to my chosen charity for this year, which is the local earthship project. I feel very drawn to it. There is a yurt, labyrinth and huge greenhouse, next to the ship and they are all crying out for a bit of extra love and attention, which I will give them.

doingitanyway

I will be joining you on an AF February. It is good to have a reset.

Well done on decluttering your bedroom. what plans do you have for the refurbishment?

Msmoneyspider

It is good to have an AF companion, thank you DIA, it is a reset button for me too and an exercise is some self discipline. Day 1/29 passed by painlessly.

We spent about 40k on a full refurbishment of the house (roof/plastering walls/flooring/facia/new kitchen/bathroom/heating system etc) 12 years ago, just after we first became DF and MF, on here !!

We still have around 30K left of that new mortgage (will check the figure this week). The house is in good shape though, but the decor is now tired looking and needs a refresh. We have done the living room and dining room and they look lovely (nice new suite), next is our bedroom.

I am tempted to throw out the furniture, carpet and curtains and buy new, but might adopt a more thrifty, MSE solution as they are still in quite good condition. A very good declutter, deep clean and a hunt around the MSE boards/furniture websites, for some inspiration should help us decide at the beginning of March.

Reading threads has got me thinking about clearing the mortgage and looking at our pensions situation, so much to do ….. but baby steps and I want to enjoy the journey., not be overwhelmed by it.

Inspired by DIA, I took some unused dust masks back to B&Q yesterday and swapped them for a bowl of blue hyacinths in a dark, blue ceramic pot, for the office. I also got a sweet little purple cyclamen for our bedroom. I am really looking forward to spring!

Msmoneyspider

Good morning,

I enjoyed the weekend, despite the weather being atrocious and I have an interview today, which would ultimately lead to my career expanding in a direction that excites me, so I am hopeful there.

I am continuing to move service users on to new companies and I should be left with just two at the beginning of April, that is when finances will get really tight, so I am going to do a store cupboard challenge this month, to get reserves up as high as possible.

Later on today, my handsome frog, will be doing an inventory of fridge/freezer/cupboard and wine cellar (garage lol) and adding the list to this thread tonight. I will do a store cupboard challenge based on the results.

2/29 AF and weigh-in today too. My scales show a 1 lb loss, so I will be very surprised if I get the slimmer of the week award!, but I have stuck to plan and felt well on it, so will be happy whatever the SW scale says.

Have a great week.

doingitanyway

Good vibes for a positive outcome with the interview.
Steady slow loss is the way to go, so well done there too