108 spiders are a girl's best friends

doingitanyway

Lots of great exercise going on. Great stuff
Hope you enjoy your art class.

Msmoneyspider

My art class was heavenly DIA, I totally switch off when I am there. It is a little piece of paradise, right out in the wilds.

It took me three hours, but I transformed yesterday's frog - sorting out my clothes cupboard. The amazing thing is that I have a large number of beautiful, new or worn once and busted out of clothes in a size 14.

For two years I have resisted buying clothes in a size 16, convinced that the extra 1.5 stone, i'd put on, was a blip that could be easily rectified, nope …...losing this weight is going to have to be a military exercise in (joyful) discipline and endurance.

I put the fitted, size 14 clothes, into a large suitcase, in the attic until 1st May 2020, D Day. I will take the torn ones and those needing adjusting, to a seamstress, at the weekend, for fixing and the rest I stuck in a large Ikea bag and deposited on the doorstep of a local ironing lady, who is charging me £20.00 to iron the lot and put it all on hangers.

Between the ironing lady and the seamstress, I will be paying about £50.00, but for that I have a transformed closet!! I think that is a bargain.

Today's handsome frog is sending back my remaining parcels. I still have 7 xmas parcels that need returning to amazon, before 20th January, so that the money can get credited to my account. That is my number one priority and I am doing it TODAY.

savingholmes

I love the way you write - keep posting.

Glad that you are looking after yourself more. Love the idea of a 6 hour day 4 days a week.

Thanks for saying I have a way of manifesting dreams - I agree. I have been crying out for some help with how to resolve my interest only mortgage - and it looks like an old pension is going to provide at least half the answer as it is worth more than I thought which is amazing. It may also allow me to retire at 55 which is life changing. I will turn 50 this year... I want to go and live near the coast.

Love the sound of your art class too. I love anything crafts related but am better at copying than original work.

Msmoneyspider

Hang on to those dreams Savingholmes you are almost there! Thank you for the support you have given me, it is really appreciated.

I love the refreshing honesty of your diary, which really resonates with a lot of people, including me. We are all willing you on .

Yesterday, was extremely difficult. A work situation arose, which in the past would have driven me to sleepless nights, overeating and an enormous amount of self doubt and sabotaging behaviour. This time I saw it for what it was and resolved to react differently.

I was reading that a person can carry their own weather around by imagining that they are in a submarine or aircraft, If they did not have that protection the air/water pressure would kill them.

It is tricky enough navigating my own self without being sucked into other people's raw emotions and dramas, which are rarely of my making, but I get targeted.

So I visualised myself in a luxury submarine, tucked safely in the most beautiful coral reef. I decided that I would be indifferent to the drama and engage only where absolutely necessary and then with supreme professionalism. Last night I slept soundly and today I feel refreshed and resolute.

2 more pounds off, sticking to budget and aiming to hit Blue Monday, smiling.

doingitanyway

It's great when you have the awareness that you can step outside of yourself and not resort to self sabotaging behaviour isn't it? I can do that sometimes but wish I could do it more often. Good for you.

Well done on the weight loss too

Msmoneyspider

I recently read a book called 'The Salt Path' about a middle-aged couple who lost their home and health and wild camped around Cornwall on £30.00 a week. In conclusion Raynor Winn wrote.

"At last I understood what homelessness had done for me. It had taken every material thing that I had and left me stripped bare, a blank page at the end of a partly written book. It had also given me the choice, either to leave that page blank or to keep writing the story with hope. I chose hope ……. All I knew was that we were lightly salted blackberries hanging in the last of the summer sun, and this perfect moment was the only one we needed."

I want to enjoy, appreciate and care for the natural world this year. I am putting some blackberries on my vision board.

doingitanyway

The Salt Path is one of my favourite reads from 2019. It really helped me in sorting the important stuff from the non important stuff. Another book, Home, about a younger woman living in a shed by Catrina Davies is also excellent and similar in some ways. i think you might like it.

I join you with wanting to enjoy the natural world much more.

Have a good day.

Msmoneyspider

Thanks DIA, I look forward to reading 'Homesick'. Another book I enjoyed in 2019 was "Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine". For me the theme of 2019 was about reconciling and making peace with the past and myself. Reading about Eleanor's mother fixation was weirdly cathartic.

You are right, how often we 'sweat the small stuff' and miss out on the good bits, which don't usually come with a big price tag .…...

savingholmes

Love the book examples - will look into them at some point. Thanks for the point on 'refreshing honesty'. I do get scared sometimes in case someone I know reads it and recognises me. Let's hope not. Hopefully if they did they would be mse fans - although I do worry sometimes about the g00gl3 extracts...

Glad that you are putting stronger boundaries in place - and sleeping well as a result. That's fantastic progress.

Msmoneyspider

Thanks again Savingholmes, I do feel like I am making progress in the self care and boundary arena.

I think a turning point, was when my brother-in-law nicknamed me "Wet Wipe", because I was always clearing up other people's messes at the expense of myself. Unfortunately, he was right, but who wants that written on their gravestone.

So, I am wrapping up this month on the evening of Monday 27th January 2020, which is my business' month end. If I spend £210.00 on food, nails, hair and diesel for the rest of this month, I will be able to put another £500.00 towards my reserves.

If I continue to aim for 10,000 steps a day (averaged 9456 last week) and 1350 calories, I will hit my weight target of 182 pounds (6 pound loss for the month).

I brainstormed all the 'business stuff' that I don't want to do (important but not urgent), which includes drafting policies and procedures, supervision, evaluations and a large risk assessment. I estimate there is 15 hours work there. I have set aside Friday and Monday to kiss these beautiful froggies goodbye and when I have transformed them I am going to have the Tuesday off.

It will be a treat day and I am also going to pay something forward. I have not decided what these two things will look like, but already the thought is making me smile. Work first though, pain before pleasure!!

In this life nothing is permanent. Joy, sorrow, pain, pleasure - everything is in a constant state of change. Thankfully.
Danielle Cormack