support for Rape Victim

Devastatedmum

thanks for all your replies during this difficult time. GP was great, he has given emergency contraception, he also tried to talk her into contacting the police - she wouldn't budge. unfortunately, he is not allowed to examine her for 48 hours because of the rape but he has contacted the mental health crisis team and also given her a short course of Valium to help her get through the next few days. she is going back on Friday for STI tests, again they can't be done inside 48 hours in case she changes her mind about reporting it.

The crisis team have been in touch but would only speak to my daughter. they are going to ring again tomorrow hopefully they will be able to get her some counselling fairly quickly.

the GP has advised that if she self harms in the night and she is taken to A$E they will contact the police and will over-ride her wishes regarding not reporting it - this is very worrying as I feel she would hide this from me Incase she did end up in A&E.

Will try rape crisis again and see what advice they have, she is sleeping at the moment but am keeping a close eye on her.

Devastatedmum

Our nearest SARC is nearly 40 miles away - I asked GP for details, first thing my daughter asked was if they would contact the police, because he couldn't guarantee that they wouldn't as they work in association with the police, she said she wouldn't go it's very difficult as she is so determined not to involve them. Have done a huge amount of reading on how to help support her this afternoon and the overwhelming response is to let her control what is happening and to not push her towards anything or for information.

As a parent it is so hard to standby and not do anything. I vere between wanting to rip the persons head off and insisting on the police being involved so that they can deal with him but I keep having to tell myself we need to do what my daughter wants despite every instinct telling me to do the opposite.

summerspring

So sorry to read this OP. i would be tempted to go round and deal with the person myself, too, but not a good idea. How awful for her.

Don't forget, there is no time limit on prosecutions and should she change her mind she can always report it and get the Police involved. He hasn't gotten away with it, not by a long way. She's just too traumatised at the moment to want any more pressure and stress.

consumers_revenge

Horrible story, horrible world. Vile scum..


Be as supportive as you can and I just hope someone knee-caps this low-life...

h82bgirly

Try your local SARC (Sexual assault referral centre). Your local sexual health clinics will be able to point her in the right direction. She'll be able to get support regardless of whether she wants the police to take action.

Air_Cooled_75

I thought Drs didn't like prescribing Valium these days?

Devastatedmum

They don't because of the inherent risks, and this was fully discussed with myself and daughter, however he has only given her enough for a week (7tablets) these have been prescribed as a short term measure to try and prevent the self harm escalating, as a result of what has happened and while the GP and crisis team try and get counselling organised.

Fluff15

One in five women will be raped or sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and so far all the information provided could help somebody else in the same situation. Until any other evidence is given that it's a troll, keep your opinions to yourself.

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

I thought Drs didn't like prescribing Valium these days?

My stepmum is prescribed it, and so was somebody my age (20's) following a crash, and another for fear of flying. I don't think they just hand it out anymore but in my experience it's still pretty common.

ETA: OP it sounds like you're doing everything right so far. I'm sorry your daughter is going through this.

Devastatedmum

whatever your opinion on the genuineness of this thread, I would like to sincerely thank all of you who have taken to time to post and offer support and links to support organisations.

As I have said earlier, the overwhelming 'professional advice' is to let my daughter set the pace for this so that she has some control and I have already made here aware of several of the referral links so that she has them when she is ready.

meritaten

I feel for both of you - if that happened to my DD I would be both in a rage and want to rip balls off - and in 'mother mode' and want to comfort. and right now - I think your DD just wants you in 'mother mode'. as said before 'keep clothing if you can' take photos if you can. then just 'mother her'. and if she will agree get her counselling. its the worst thing that can happen to a woman. she needs help.