Out of Interest, Are There Any Ladies Here Whose Husbands Control the Purse Strings?

tesuhoha

I've just been reading this story in the DM. I think this lady should have heard the warning bells in 1986. She is paying dearly for her trust.

Personally, I take care of all our finances. My husband has no interest in them whatsoever. I can't even get him to make a decision about his pension. There was a short period of time when he controlled the finances years ago and none of the bills got paid so I had to do it. Its probably better if its a partnership though.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2781526/Why-women-NEVER-trust-husband-purse-strings-Denise-did-Now-perfect-middle-class-life-ruins.html

Pollycat

I think for me, warning bells would have sounded almost 30 years ago:

In 1986, he told Denise that he had, uncharacteristically, fallen behind with some car repayments and done something stupid: he’d ‘borrowed’ £3,000 from the petty cash of the company he worked for, and the situation had gone badly wrong.
He was duly jailed for six weeks.

tesuhoha

Pollycat wrote: »

I think for me, warning bells would have sounded almost 30 years ago:

Yes, I thought that too.

roobee13

I read that this morning too - how alarm bells didn't ring I'll never know.

My Mum and Dad went through exactly the same thing as you years ago, Dad didn't pay stuff when he was meant to, didn't tell my Mum and they were in a mess for a while. Since then, my Mum sorts everything and won't even share a joint bank account with my Dad!

For this reason, I've always been a little apprehensive about giving 100% control of my money to anyone. My partner and I share most bills so that one of us isn't sorting out everything. It seems fairer and we're both happy with the arrangement.

Money is one of those funny things in relationships where everyone has their own system - whatever works for them right? I realise it's not exactly romantic saying you don't 'trust' someone completely, but I'm too independent and would want to know what I could or couldn't afford.

tesuhoha

Judi wrote: »

Yes me.

Do you trust him or does it make you feel uneasy?

tesuhoha

Judi wrote: »

Well its not ideal. I'd be up the creak without a paddle if he left me or died.

At least the house is mine.

Brave of you to own up to that on this forum.

tinkerbell28

Not a chance! I do. He's away too much I have to buy everything, make sure all is paid up, etc.

So we have a joint account.

When I met him he had about 7 DD's for old phone insurances :rotfl:

tesuhoha

Judi wrote: »

Brave or pretty foolish... take your pick.

Not necessarily foolish. It depends on circumstances really.

tesuhoha

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

Not a chance! I do. He's away too much I have to buy everything, make sure all is paid up, etc.

So we have a joint account.

When I met him he had about 7 DD's for old phone insurances :rotfl:

Good thing you got involved.

jaylee3

tesuhoha wrote: »

I've just been reading this story in the DM. I think this lady should have heard the warning bells in 1986. She is paying dearly for her trust.

Personally, I take care of all our finances. My husband has no interest in them whatsoever. I can't even get him to make a decision about his pension. There was a short period of time when he controlled the finances years ago and none of the bills got paid so I had to do it. Its probably better if its a partnership though.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2781526/Why-women-NEVER-trust-husband-purse-strings-Denise-did-Now-perfect-middle-class-life-ruins.html

I also deal with all the finances Tes, and I think many women in long term relationships do, especially in this day and age. In many couples I know anyway. (Although it does tend to be more with married couples; most unmarried couples I know, tend to have separate finances.)

That said, we have 3 joint accounts, and we both have access to them all. So he can look at anything when he wants. He just chooses/prefers to not bother with anything. As long as we have a PLUS balance in the bank, he is happy.

I would never in a trillion years tolerate a relationship where I didn't have a scrap of control over the finances. (Even joint control.)

System

I would never in a trillion years tolerate a relationship where I didn't have a scrap of control over the finances. (Even joint control.)

Very wise.










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