Out of Interest, Are There Any Ladies Here Whose Husbands Control the Purse Strings?

ciderwithrosie_2

barbiedoll wrote: »

DH said that he was listening to Martin on the radio the other week and said that we need to make a "death, divorce or disaster" list, with all account numbers, names of insurance providers, insurance policy details, passwords for the broadband provider etc etc etc, in case of any emergency. It's a good idea, if anything happened to me and I was left in a coma (or worse), no-one would have any idea about who to contact regarding any bills or payments.

This is a REALLY good idea. I sort out everything, we have always had a joint account but the OH has no interest in online banking, bill paying or how much all the DDs are. If he wants to buy something or go out for a drink - he'll ask me if we can afford it first. These days we mostly can, although it wasn't always like that and I'd prefer that he continued to ask first.


I know exactly what we've got in the bank account as I check online at least once a week and update the spread sheet I keep.


I am trying to teach my sons to do the same. One's really good with money, but the other two are a bit easy come, easy go.

pollypenny

OH looked after our finances for the year I was doing my finals. He ran up £800 in debt, which was a lot then.

I took over for a few years, but I felt like I was having to tell a little boy that we couldn't afford whatever it was.

We started doing everything together,,we sit down on pensions day and on 1st of the month and sort things out. OH has become more cautious than me.

PenguinJim

InsideInsurance wrote: »

I am also confused by people saying that paying bills takes positive action. Ours are all on DD and so simply are paid automatically and doesnt require any action from either of us. Credit card and bank statements are a quick check for unrecognised transactions, only letters from utilities where they advise a change in the standing DD get a look at.

"Confused"? One of the first debt-free lessons* I was taught was to get rid of the direct debits and pay every bill manually, to assert greater control over my finances. It's hardly necessary for us (our monthly outgoings are about a quarter of our income), but my partner and I both do things this way so that we better monitor our spending.

Heck, most of the scrawlings on our kitchen wall are devoted to our finances, with monthly targets for our utility expenditures (£5 target for water, £15 target for electricity, etc).

If I didn't have the five minutes each month to pay the bills manually, or if I was incapable of being organised enough to make the payments, I am grateful that I could move to direct debits. Meanwhile, we're using water conservatively and switching off all electric devices at the wall when they're not in use, and perhaps seeing that figure on each bill pushes us a little harder to save a little bit more.

*Although I was also specifically taught that if I could not keep myself organised, direct debits would be better so that payments would not be late and then damage my chance of getting a mortgage.

jetplane

I'm too much of a control freak to hand over full control of anything to my husband Finances are regularly discussed together and no big decisions are ever made without agreement.

I used to be surprised when I would deal with people who were in huge debt, threatened with homelessness or bankruptcy and the other partner was clueless, didn't know what was happening. However its not so rare.

I did work with a woman who never took any part in the household finances and when her husband died suddenly her son had to take over. She was literally left with no access to money and really did not know how to budget or the costs of running her home.

I don't think gender matters and some people are just better at finances than others but I do believe both partners should be involved.

lostinrates

Of men said a lot of what women are saying here it would be considered heinous.

I'm quite horrified.

We bill pay by dd. ( because time to go through bills together IS tight)
We have a rough budget for own spending, which is not equal in amount but coves things like travel which is not equal in cost.
DH pays all the dsd and bills etc and anything online for a practical purpose but we both know about them and have access to each other's accounts ( ATM I decline to use it)

Gra76

I run our joint account by myself as any mention of money to the missus has her running for the hills stressing out. For some reason she just doesn't want to know anything to do with the account. It's slightly baffling but in fairness it does make it easier to change energy suppliers/insurances etc because the missus starts having panic attacks every time money is mentioned so is more than happy to leave it all to me to sort. There's no reason behind the panic attacks as far as I can tell but the mere mention of the joint account has her scrabbling to escape the room!

Kayalana99

I control the finances but I am hoping one day that we will share them, my OH was terrible with money when I first met him but he's slowly coming around.

Since I quit work we've had to budget more so we both have a set amount each week and since then he's been realising the value of money a lot more (it's actually recommended way of teaching children early how to budget giving them a weekly allowance so they save for things although not that I did it on purpose but I can really see the difference in him)

I was really proud of him this week as his Mum asked him to borrow a small amount of money for something that was not needed (this is where he gets it from lol) and he told her straight he wasn't going to lend it to her because she didn't need it and it was wasting money she didn't have. (I still think that's her decision and he shouldn't of said that to her but the fact that he sees it as a waste of money where as before he would not of thought twice and just brought something)

Errata

Gra76 wrote: »

I run our joint account by myself as any mention of money to the missus has her running for the hills stressing out. For some reason she just doesn't want to know anything to do with the account. It's slightly baffling but in fairness it does make it easier to change energy suppliers/insurances etc because the missus starts having panic attacks every time money is mentioned so is more than happy to leave it all to me to sort. There's no reason behind the panic attacks as far as I can tell but the mere mention of the joint account has her scrabbling to escape the room!

If your 'missus' has a panic attack every time money is mentioned she has a mental health problem, not a finances one.

Spendless

Judi wrote: »

Mind you, I wouldn't put his name on the deeds of my house for the simple fact, its my only security so I suppose I'm just as bad as he is.

I'd have thought in the event of a split this would count as a marital asset with everything taken into account, the length of the marriage, that you had children together and it restricted your ability to work, that your husband worked and so on? It might not be a 50/50 split but I don't know that he wouldn't have a claim on it at all. There was a similar thread about this only recently.

Marisco

InsideInsurance wrote: »

I am also confused by people saying that paying bills takes positive action. Ours are all on DD and so simply are paid automatically and doesnt require any action from either of us. Credit card and bank statements are a quick check for unrecognised transactions, only letters from utilities where they advise a change in the standing DD get a look at. Insurance and such are obviously reviewed annually when their renewal comes up.

Quite! All ours are set up to go out the first of every month out of our joint account. I've always dealt with everything (dealt with, not controlled ) as oh used to work away, sometimes in inaccessible places, plus his ex left him in a lot of debt, that I sorted out. He obviously has access to everything, but doesn't really bother, I tend to let him know the situation re money left over etc.

I have my own account because when we first met, his credit rating was trashed because of his ex, and mine was pristine :AThis has continued but he has full access to it (but he never bothers) I pay for my and his mobile out of it, the car ins, home ins and broadband. Other than checking every now and again, after the initial setting up, no effort whatsoever is required!