I don't have any "friends"

red_devil

My sister early fifties once told me her and her daughter were besties is that an odd statement.

hamsterfan1

I don't have any local friends either, I chat occasionally to some of my ex-colleagues on facebook & I see my old school friends a few times a year, but I am close to my daughter & I have a lot in common with my husband so I count him as my closest friend.

Brighton_belle

ComebackGirl wrote: »

I don't know what i'd have to offer a friend now and my age group (30's) are usually settled with people they have known for a long time.

My closest friends I all met in my 40's.

fizz

It all depends on what the definition of a 'friend' is. If it is someone that you can call at 3am in the morning when life has turned to @@@@ then I have 2 who aren't related to me. I see neither from one month to the next, but I could call them and they would be there and vice versa. I think it's sad that some people have to have a large circle of what they call friends, but in reality, they may only be people on nodding terms.

I believe in quality not quantity, so OP carry on. You are not odd, just confident and happy to be you.

fizz.x

Mercenary

I think that whatever you're comfortable with is fine, and if you become uncomfortable about it then that is the time to change something.

I'm middle-aged and have only a couple of old schoolfriends who I rarely see. But we email about twice a year (hate Facebook!). I am also an introvert, which doesn't help.

I had children when I was quite young and so was completely occupied with that for a good few years, but managed to socialise through the NCT. Unfortunately, with each child's arrival, my OH got transferred to a different area with his job which meant that I had to start over again several times in a strange place where I knew nobody and far away from my family.
After the third time I began to wonder if it was worth trying to make friends again since I usually had to move away. So apart from chatting to people at the school gates, in shops etc, I didn't connect with anyone in particular. I've never felt the need for a lot of friends, luckily.

The children are now grown and if I'm not helping them or my Mother with their lives I spend most of my time by myself. I'm sometimes nagged by my Mother & sister that I "need" to get out there & find some friends to DO stuff with, but they are both extroverts who like to go out and socialise with lots of people & they can't understand that I simply don't enjoy doing that. In fact it'd be downright stressful for me. I'll see what the future brings

aileth

I don't.

I don't have any friends from when I was at school as I was really geeky and a total social outcast. I just kept my head down and did my schooling and didn't get involved. Got bullied pretty badly and left with good grades, but no friends, which was fine by me.

I had some friends a few years back, but it was just a huge drama with loads of !!!!!ing, back-chatting, saying one thing to your face, another to someone else's about you. I couldn't be bothered with it and didn't get enough out of the friendship to carry it on, so I cut ties.

Now I'm closest to my husband and my sister, with close links to my family, and I couldn't be happier. No more feeling like I -have- to go out once a week, or even once a month, just to keep up appearances, or being made to feel like a loser because I didn't want to go out till 3am and get trollied.

There's only one friend I'm really in contact with, and that's because she was never !!!!!y, we met whenever we could or felt like it without making the other feel guilty which is great, the only thing is she's moved away.

lazer

I used to have a very wide circle of friends, but a number of years ago the Sh*t really hit the fan in my life and then I really got to know who my real friends are.


I now have a much smaller circle of friends but they are real friends, and I am now much happier with my life.


OP - you seem to have a large family - family can be your friends too, you seem close to them.
I have no close immediate family (except my husband), but I have made a lot of effort with my cousins and have renewed friendships with them and its great!

red_devil

Love these threads.

System

I don't have any friends... well that I can talk to about important stuff anyway.

Tuesday_Tenor

Hezza
Sounds like you have a life full of rewarding relationships.

So do I.

But they're very different.

I'm single, mid50s, no family of my own, and tiny original family now reduced to one sister, also single, who I don't have much in common with, though we can make the occasional Christmas together work OK.

Instead I have, over many years, acquired many great friends, acquaintances and neighbours. People who I stay in touch with to varying degrees, people who I confide in to varying degrees; some I share meals with, some I share hobbies with, some I share holidays with. I'm also very happy with my own company.

If I were in your position I wouldn't have time for friends.
If you were my position you'd have friends like mine.

Both rewarding lives.

Bit blinkered of your work colleagues to assume everyone is like them ...!