I don't have any "friends"

Dodgy-TYT

I don't have many friends either....

But I think in modern life it is normal. And I mean 'real' friends. The type that don't shat on you when the chips are down.


Internet friends are NOT real friends also.

Domayne

Your definitely not alone! I have 3 people I would count as 'friends' and I've known them all for a long time. I don't do well with new people at all, and don't make friends easily because I'm quite an introvert, hate small talk and mostly prefer my own company. I see/talk to my 3 friends once every few months and this works for us.
If your happy with your life and dont feel the need to have friends around you constantly, then who cares what anyone else thinks

Domayne

Dodgy-TYT wrote: »

I don't have many friends either....

But I think in modern life it is normal. And I mean 'real' friends. The type that don't shat on you when the chips are down.


Internet friends are NOT real friends also.

I also disagree with the Internet friends are not real friends comment.
I have some internet friends that I've never met irl because they live all over the globe but we've been talking for YEARS, we talk on games/Facebook messenger and facetime/oovoo and I talk to them A LOT, two in particular and I've told them deep things I haven't even told people irl. So why because I've never met them face to face it makes our friendship less valid?
You can meet people face ti face, think they are your best friends and still never know the real them

raven83

I know a lot of people but I keep my circle tight and only label a few of them as close friends, and I wouldn't be without them.

It is sad though when one of your so called "best friends" lets you down though when you need them most, but hey ho.

YORKSHIRELASS

I actually dont have any friends. Through my teens and 20s I had one best friend. We were inseparable, we were bridesmaids for each others weddings, I was godmother to her daughter. Then things went wrong and we ended up falling out. She moved away some time after that and I have never seen her since.

This was really hard and has made me wary of getting too close to anyone since. I do tend to keep people at a distance. I am friendly with people at work, go to fitness classes, do voluntary work and know lots of people but rarely invite people round to my house or meet up with people outside of these groups.

Does it bother me? Sometimes it does but I cant really see me changing now..

MadelinesMum

Hi, I also lead a busy life and don't really have any friends - the people I do know to say "hello" to or have a short chat with, I wouldn't really call friends. I've found in the past friendships can cause problems and I feel I have been used and dumped in the past, so steer clear of making strong friend relationships. Being the eternal pessimist I think that many "friendly" people want to find out everything about you to find out if you'll be a useful friend (you're rich or your oh is an electrician etc), then dump you like a hot potato when they realise you are of no value. As you can guess by my opinion, I've had quite a bad experiences of friendship so my view is probably a bit tainted.

kloana

Hezzawithkids wrote: »

I'm middle aged, with a full time job, married with children, plus I look after my elderly mum. My social life revolves mostly around my family (as well as my children I have multiple siblings who also have families) and if I do see other people socially its as couples or in a large crowd. I rarely meet up with girl friends on my own. I have acquaintances in my neighborhood who I am friendly with and will sometimes go to their houses for a drink & chat. I have work colleagues who I am friendly with and we get along very well together in the office but once I've left for the day I hardly give them a second thought.

I have old friends most of whom I've known for many many years but who live in other parts of the UK or the world. We are in touch via social media or email. I know where they are and vice versa, and I know that if I ever need them they will be there for me like a shot, as I will for them. If & when we do meet up we pick up from where we last left off as if it was yesterday, like slipping on an old pair of shoes.

Just to say that the above sounds fab. I'm an in-betweeny as far as friendship is concerned. I do have friends (a small number, and consisting more of individuals than a cohesive group), but we're slowly drifting. The majority of people I know in this capacity are either mothers, or young, free and single. I'm neither (young and free, but not single. Married but childless).

I find it increasingly difficult to find common ground. I'm not chained to my hubby (I'm the boss ), but nor can I go out 'on the pull' and seriously misbehave like I did 10 years ago. But on the other hand, I'm wholly disinterested in dirty nappies and cracked nipples

Air_Cooled_75

I don't know, I think sometimes there are women who are very 'girlie' (which is absolutely fine) and there are women who aren't. I fall into the latter and like to talk to my male friends about F1, films, footy etc. I don't want to talk about make up and rom-coms or even kids even though I've got one. I probably have 2 very close female friends and that suits me. I have a wide circle of female acquaintances and I can have a good natter to them but to be honest I'd rather not

j.e.j.

Person_one wrote: »

I'm not taking it personally, its a genuine question. Its not uncommon to hear a woman say they don't really like or get on with other women, they prefer men. So… my question begs itself really doesn't it? Does that woman have all the qualities she dislikes about every other woman, or is she somehow different, one in 3.5 billion?

If I said something similar about men, there'd be plenty on here (or DT perhaps!) ready to jump on me for it, why is it different if its your own gender?

Being jumped on is par for the course on internet forums, I think..

I don't buy into the idea that someone always criticizes in others what they don't like in themselves. I happen to find certain aspects of female behaviour very unappealing but so what? So do many other women, truth be told.

If you choose to get defensive on behalf of half the world's population based on a selective reading of my posts I can't do much about that.

Person_one

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

I don't know, I think sometimes there are women who are very 'girlie' (which is absolutely fine) and there are women who aren't. I fall into the latter and like to talk to my male friends about F1, films, footy etc. I don't want to talk about make up and rom-coms or even kids even though I've got one. I probably have 2 very close female friends and that suits me. I have a wide circle of female acquaintances and I can have a good natter to them but to be honest I'd rather not

But…those are really stereotypical things you're talking about. Most people don't fit stereotypes, you don't after all. I don't think I've had a conversation with a female friend about makeup since I was a teenager. Are some of these ideas about what women are like, and what female friendships are about based on experiences of schoolgirl cliques perhaps, because that was the last time you experienced them? Its not like that when you're grown up, I promise!