Who should pay for kids to go to Uni? Kids or parents?

lulu_92

Kids - going to Uni is about learning to look after yourself

Spendless wrote: »

That's a like for like comparison though, you both broke a laptop and only one of you had it replaced. I agree that if you support one through Uni (or alternative education) then you need to support them all, but I wouldn't be giving one of mine something just because the other had gone to Uni. If they'd wanted to go they would have had the same. I read your below quote as your step brother wanting the cash equivalent for something else, maybe that's not what you meant though.

Yeah I was using step-bro as a hypothetical as he would never be so cheeky as to ask, like I never asked my dad why he bought my sister a computer and not me (she didn't ask him to buy one for her either). I think I worded it weird, apologies for that.

I just don't think people should have money from parents to be used as an incentive to go.

In our case, my sister and I started uni pre-2012 and our step sister started this year - so the tuition fee cost tripled for her, which means they would be paying 3x as much to send both step-kids to uni than it would have cost for us.

millysg1

Kids - going to Uni is about learning to look after yourself

My OH's brother and Sister went to uni but my OH didn.t I believe that my in laws paid for everything when they were at university. My OH didn't see that as unfair or that he should get something to compensate. And even when my OH went back to college to get more qualifications, his dad insisted paying for any courses he did. OH didn't like that and pushed back saying he was an adult and was working he can pay but his dad was instant. I told my OH that his dad probably just saw it as fair as he probably forked out £20k each for his brother and sister for uni but a total of £3k for all his college courses was the least your Dad wanted to do for him.

System

millysg1 wrote: »

My OH's brother and Sister went to uni but my OH didn.t I believe that my in laws paid for everything when they were at university. My OH didn't see that as unfair or that he should get something to compensate. And even when my OH went back to college to get more qualifications, his dad insisted paying for any courses he did. OH didn't like that and pushed back saying he was an adult and was working he can pay but his dad was instant. I told my OH that his dad probably just saw it as fair as he probably forked out £20k each for his brother and sister for uni but a total of £3k for all his college courses was the least your Dad wanted to do for him.

I think that was a lovely gesture on behalf of your Father in law

toniq

What this debate has made me realise is my children are considered adults as they are both over the age of 18, so why are the parents liable for another adult?

In what other situation is this the case? For real why can't all students full stop be responsible for their own tuition.

Why can't they have a grant/loan etc on their own etc to payback.

Yes it means wealthier kids might be given a helping hand, but surely these students are adults so therefore should be treated as such.

Why does there have to be any grants full stop? why can't it just be loans they payback as they earn?

If one of my girls decided to have a baby at 18 she wouldn't be expected by the state to have me bail her out with rent/food etc. So why is this any different?

As someone said lifestyle choice.

System

At some time a child has to be classed by its parents as an adult. I think 18 is the perfect age.

Person_one

Judi wrote: »

At some time a child has to be classed by its parents as an adult. I think 18 is the perfect age.

This government has other ideas! They seem to want parents to feed and house their adult children for longer and longer. They can't get NMW till 22, they can't claim WTC till 25, and they can't claim HB for a 1 bed flat until 35.

Cameron and co. seem to forget that not everybody under 30 has mummy and daddy with a spare room and plenty of spare money able and/or willing to support them!

There have been proposals in the last few years to stop young people claiming any benefits until 25, single parents included:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4348487

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10179637/Teen-mums-should-have-to-live-with-parents-say-Tory-MPs.html

lulu_92

Kids - going to Uni is about learning to look after yourself

Person_one wrote: »

This government has other ideas! They seem to want parents to feed and house their adult children for longer and longer. They can't get NMW till 22, they can't claim WTC till 25, and they can't claim HB for a 1 bed flat until 35.

Cameron and co. seem to forget that not everybody under 30 has mummy and daddy with a spare room and plenty of spare money able and/or willing to support them!

There have been proposals in the last few years to stop young people claiming any benefits until 25, single parents included:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4348487

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10179637/Teen-mums-should-have-to-live-with-parents-say-Tory-MPs.html

As annoying and true as that all is, it does not mean that you get to put off being an adult because you can't get a job or a house!

You can still be an adult and contribute if needs be

sulphate

toniq wrote: »

What this debate has made me realise is my children are considered adults as they are both over the age of 18, so why are the parents liable for another adult?
Because responsibilities as a parent don't just stop on a child's 18th birthday.

In what other situation is this the case? For real why can't all students full stop be responsible for their own tuition.
They are responsible for their own tuition, tuition fee loans are granted no matter what parental income is.

Why can't they have a grant/loan etc on their own etc to payback.
They do. There is no pressure on the parents to pay for their tuition, only for help with living costs.

Yes it means wealthier kids might be given a helping hand, but surely these students are adults so therefore should be treated as such.
That just leads to more inequality, rich kids will get richer.

Why does there have to be any grants full stop? why can't it just be loans they payback as they earn?

If one of my girls decided to have a baby at 18 she wouldn't be expected by the state to have me bail her out with rent/food etc. So why is this any different?
She would be, but in a different way. An 18 year old with a baby living in a house with enough bedrooms wouldn't necessarily qualify for a council flat, she has a much better chance of getting one if she lives in an overcrowded home.

As someone said lifestyle choice.
I'm not sure a teenager having a baby can be compared to going to university. The general idea of going to university is getting a degree that will (hopefully, but no guarantee) widen their career prospects. This will enable them to (again, hopefully) apply for work that is reasonably paid and offers more job satisfaction than the alternatives. I can't really understand why parents who can afford to help their children out, wouldn't want to.

see comments in red.

lulu_92

Kids - going to Uni is about learning to look after yourself

sulphate wrote: »

see comments in red.

The only thing I disagree with you on is the grants. Not everybody gets a grant. For my first year I got £300 for going to the uni from a local college and then they stopped this without telling anyone.

Many of my friends got full loan and grant amounts because they lived with one parent, and the other parent supported them as well. In my situation I got the loan, no grants and my dad didn't do anything to help me, it was all my mum and step-dad.

toniq

We do help our children out, So don't understand your comment if it is aimed at my situation. I'm not saying the responsibilities to them stop at 18, Of course they don't, Thy never stop being your children regardless of age.

I think my point is being missed or misread, My debate isn't here it's elsewhere.My points would be understood more by parents in a similar position than students.



And thank you for your comments in red.