Breastfeeding weaning help needed

sadandlonely

I breastfed my lo til he was 14 months and like your daughter, he was the same. Feeding at all times of the day and night even though he was eating solids. He was still co sleeping with me also and I was petrified of even moving in the night. I was worn out and it came to a head when we were having a play date with some of lo friends. He wanted a feed in the middle of a soft play area when his main meal was arriving in literally minutes. He had a tantrum and I managed to soothe him until the meal arrived. That night I gave him full fat milk in a beaker and let him scream it out in his cot. He gave in after an hour. The next night it was easier, full fat milk in a beaker and 20 mins to scream it out. I was checking on him every five minutes and soothing him, not leaving him the full time. By the next night, he hadnt bf for more than 48 hrs but was having full fat milk instead with his 3 meals a day also. He slept a lot better throughout the night and learnt to self soothe by that 3rd night.

It was horrible, I admit that and cold turkey was not something I wanted to do but after seeing him having a tantrum in that soft play area, I had nightmares of him being stuck on me til he was 3. Not saying its bad but people saw enough of my breasts for the past year :-)

merdoom

I'm afraid I have no advice, I just wanted to say 'hang in there'!
My 8 month old has exactly the same pattern of wakes as yours and so far has never slept through the night, she also starts in her cot but usually ends up with me in bed at some point so hubby sleeps on the sofa.

Its not much fun, but it can't last forever!!
If you find something that works let me know!! xx

Crabapple

Maybeanotherday wrote: »

Did they learn to self sooth from a year old? and how?

Yes, she did, but she was in far more of a routine by then and usually only woke once and had a regular bedtime.

Instead of me feeding her in her room, I used to give her a last feed downstairs and then my husband would take her and put her to bed, giving her cuddles and rocking her as required. We never left her crying and there were nights when I'd have to go up and feed her anyway, but they got less and less common.

I'd have a look for the Dr Jack Newman stuff and also the no-cry sleep solution for some ideas. Not all of it may work for you, but some may well and anything that gets you a little more sleep will of course be a huge help!

Counting_Pennies_2

Maybeanotherday wrote: »

Basically for a quiet life she starts off in her cot but makes her way into the bed around 2am. Her feeds as they stand are around 7.30pm, 11pm, 2am, 4am, 6am.
I dont really mind breastfeeding her if only I could do the morning and night one, rather than all the way through the night.
she eats three meals a day and has snacks so I'm not convinced shes hungary...

I think there are two issues here.


The main one is the feeding. I am not convinced she is getting enough milk at 7:30pm and so is waking during the night for top ups.


Your breasts will not have stored the milk all day for her, they store according to demand. As there as not been demand in the day, the quality and quantity will have reduced during the hours of being awake.


Also milk first thing in the morning is better having had a night of rest.


So I would suggest the breast milk at night is of lesser quality as you have been active during the day.


I would suggest either getting back to breastfeeding for all feeds, or you could feed her a bottle at 7:30pm and then give her a dream feed of breast at 11pm before you head to bed so you know she has had a good bottle to get her to sleep and content.


The first thing in the morning is good as you have rested, but if you have been up and down all night it will be less so.


If you want to carry on feeding, check out the breastfeeding experts. Baby Whisperer was great for me. She sadly died very young, when mine were babies, so no publicity surrounds her books any more, but she was my bible when I breast fed, and she makes a whole load of sense.


The second issue should be in part resolved by getting the feeding sorted, but you really need to train her out of the sleep issues. Not getting her up in the night and putting her in your bed, and ensuring she is trained to settle on her own at night. Again the Baby Whisperer was great

Bluebell1000

We had a similar problem with DS - he was fine during the day when I was at work anyway (and on formula if needed), but would want 2-3 feeds during the night. At 14 months we'd decided it was time to completely stop breastfeeding. I went away for 2 nights to a conference, and DH gave him a bottle to put him to sleep. DS spent most of the night screaming until he fell asleep out of exhaustion. Night 2 - slightly less screaming. Night 3 (I was home then) he settled much more quickly. Night 4 - slept through with hardly any tears.

DS was also moved into his own room at the same time, so it was a complete change of routine, he'd also been sleeping in the bed with us for at least part the night as he didn't settle well into his cot after a night feed.

DH was the one doing the bedtime and settling him for the first week just so DS couldn't smell the milk. I believe it was pretty awful for DH (I was off partying in the two evenings and went to my first ceilidh, so felt rather guilty that he'd had such a rough time) but it worked. It was getting to the point where we were just so tired that we really had to do something, and while it was tough at the time, it was worth it.

Molly41

My husband also helped wean my babes too. He took over night feeds from a bottle and gave the baby very little interaction. Low light and no talking to baby then straight back to cot. It worked after a few nights but I couldn't have done it as all mine could smell the milk and Im too soft hearted. I was unwell when he took over the youngest and it really helped them bond - up to that point he was busy with the older ones.

Maybeanotherday

Thankyou so much for your comments, I am a soft touch and I hate letting her cry and she is a very strong willed young lady!
Theres so much conflicting advice it feels sometimes impossible to know what the best thing is to do, I do feel reassured that other people have gone through the same thing and it wont last forever though:money:

pinkshoes

DS was BF until 13.5 months.

I went back to work when he was 9 months, so needed a plan to stop the night feeds, as he was waking up 3 times a night.

He was BF at 6.30am and 6.30pm, then All i did was offer water from a sippy cup at all other times.

Yes, the crying was hideous and upsetting, but it only took a week (less crying each time) and he very soon learnt that waking up and crying was not going to get him mummy milk!! We very quickly went to one wake up, and then about 11 months he started sleeping through regularly.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind - teaching a child to settle themselves is important.

notanewuser

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

I think there are two issues here.


The main one is the feeding. I am not convinced she is getting enough milk at 7:30pm and so is waking during the night for top ups.


Your breasts will not have stored the milk all day for her, they store according to demand. As there as not been demand in the day, the quality and quantity will have reduced during the hours of being awake.


Also milk first thing in the morning is better having had a night of rest.


So I would suggest the breast milk at night is of lesser quality as you have been active during the day.


I would suggest either getting back to breastfeeding for all feeds, or you could feed her a bottle at 7:30pm and then give her a dream feed of breast at 11pm before you head to bed so you know she has had a good bottle to get her to sleep and content.


The first thing in the morning is good as you have rested, but if you have been up and down all night it will be less so.


If you want to carry on feeding, check out the breastfeeding experts. Baby Whisperer was great for me. She sadly died very young, when mine were babies, so no publicity surrounds her books any more, but she was my bible when I breast fed, and she makes a whole load of sense.


The second issue should be in part resolved by getting the feeding sorted, but you really need to train her out of the sleep issues. Not getting her up in the night and putting her in your bed, and ensuring she is trained to settle on her own at night. Again the Baby Whisperer was great

Research has moved on since the Baby Whisperer and now dream feeds, and sleep training (CIO etc) are known to be a bad idea.

notanewuser

pinkshoes wrote: »

DS was BF until 13.5 months.

I went back to work when he was 9 months, so needed a plan to stop the night feeds, as he was waking up 3 times a night.

He was BF at 6.30am and 6.30pm, then All i did was offer water from a sippy cup at all other times.

Yes, the crying was hideous and upsetting, but it only took a week (less crying each time) and he very soon learnt that waking up and crying was not going to get him mummy milk!! We very quickly went to one wake up, and then about 11 months he started sleeping through regularly.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind - teaching a child to settle themselves is important.

:undecided

http://www.thinkbaby.co.uk/tb-blog/the-cons-of-controlled-crying/4811.html