Difficult few days

whichwhydoIturn

Hello, on Friday it was the first anniversary of my mum passing .
Saturday was the 1st birthday of my darling grandson.
Today , I've done very little , I've slept watched tv & not eaten badly .
I feel very down today , very guilty.
I'm on my own , my relationship ended last July same time my mum was taken ill.
I don't want to burden people or bring people down , I wanted to express how I feel.
I do see the doctor for depression & I feel I can't bring my DD down as she is going back to work Tuesday & probably has enough going on .
Thank you reading xx

melanzana

My darling it's normal to feel upset and down after all you've been through..

I lost my sister last year, and on the same day my OH lost his brother. Can you believe it! Then my mother had an accident and was in intensive care with a brain injury while all this was going on.

I think we got through on adrenalin.

To be sure, there have been many days when I lost the will to live. Almost. But it passes.

It is ok to have a meltdown, a bad day, a horrible day or days. We are human after all.

What I would say is, if this feeling lasts for weeks on end, seek a tad of help.

I used bereavement counselling after six months.

I cannot recommend it highly enough. A safe, confidential environment to vent, cry, rage, and cleanse.

Everyone thinks when a person is buried it's all fine for those left behind. It is not.

Hugs to you. I know what it's like.

thorsoak

{{hugs}} You have gone through a horrendous year - but you do have a new life - that of your darling grandson who must give some comfort to you. I understand how you don't want to mar the joy of your grandson's birthday by reminding your daughter of the death of your mum - but you can celebrate the continuance of life by remembering both.

Have you spoken to your doctor about maybe having counselling? I'm another who would recommend it. {{hugs}}

whichwhydoIturn

I have a lovely GP , he never rushes .
I don't know how to ask for councelling , I want him to say its for the best .
I m not alone on this site , bless you both for your support
I feel like I want to scream & break rules you know like rebel x x

thorsoak

I do understand xxxx

Ettenna

I spent my Saturday "celebrating" the second anniversary of my daughters car accident from which she got severe brain injuries and is now in a vegetative state. I'm sure it does get better in time but you are allowed to be sad xxx

whichwhydoIturn

The night my mum passed , I swore my head off around the hospital car park.
Angry at the world , myself and life for the tricks it plays
That anger hasn't gone , I still want to scream .
I think I will call the doctors and drop this stiff upper lip .
xx

Poppy9

You have been through your year of firsts. It's the hardest and while you never stop missing people you learn to live with the emptiness. You will always feel a sadness but you will find yourself smiling again when you least expect it.

Five stages of grief

Ettenna, I didn't want to ignore your pain. I do not want to imagine how hard these past couple of years has been for you all and sadly all I can do is send a cyber hug x

melanzana

Ettenna wrote: »

I spent my Saturday "celebrating" the second anniversary of my daughters car accident from which she got severe brain injuries and is now in a vegetative state. I'm sure it does get better in time but you are allowed to be sad xxx

Words are never enough for what your are going through. Never.

Are you ok?

I give you a big virtual hug. That's all I can do from here. X

pollypenny

Anniversaries are always hard. It's ok to feel down, but you don't have to be alone .

Do you see your grandson often? It's amazing what cuddles can do.

gettingtheresometime

Poppy9 wrote: »

You have been through your year of firsts. It's the hardest and while you never stop missing people you learn to live with the emptiness. You will always feel a sadness but you will find yourself smiling again when you least expect it.

Five stages of grief

Ettenna, I didn't want to ignore your pain. I do not want to imagine how hard these past couple of years has been for you all and sadly all I can do is send a cyber hug x

Not only have you been through a year of firsts you've been through a year of conflicting firsts ......the first Christmas without your mum but the first with your grandson etc.

Counselling will help you put these emotions into perspective (eg how can you be happy with your grandson whilst you should be sad because your mum isn't here? )