OPLE (Other People's Life Envy)

Gigervamp

I agree with what the others have said.

Don't stay with your OH if you're not happy, but worried you'll be left on the shelf due to your age. You're not actually very old!
When I met my husband, I was 35, with 3 kids by two fathers. He was 25. But we'll be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in October and have been together for 15 years.

I now have terminal cancer and hoping I'll be lucky enough to have a couple more years.

You don't know what the future holds, so make a decision to live life and get out there and make new friends, spend the weekends doing what YOU want to do.

Only you can change things.

Tigsteroonie

Sushiette, if you find yourself on this forum during the wee small hours, head over to the Moneysavers Arms board - that's where most of the irreverent chat happens, and there are often posters around at that time

Tropez

I'm not gonna comment on whether you should leave your OH or anything.

I will say though, you mention you're 41 and expect to be shelved if single. Every single day you spend being unfulfilled and unsatisfied with your life is another day you're not going to get back. It's not going to be any better at 42, 43, 44, 45 etc.

It's probably time to start living your life. Whether your OH is a part of that or not is another matter.

Oh and for the record, 41 isn't that old, really but it is no reason to delay living.

BucksLady

You sound as if you're in a rut, but the only one who can change that is you.
I would sit down with your partner and tell him that your life feels boring and it's getting you down. Tell him that things will have to change and then make suggestions as to what you feel should happen. OP if your partner loves you, he should listen and support you. If he doesn't care - perhaps you have your answer.

I do wish you luck and hope there are happier times ahead

onomatopoeia99

Sushiette wrote: »

Sometimes I have thought about leaving him, but I'm 41 and would stay shelved for a long time I think.

Fear of being alone shouldn't keep you in a relationship that makes you unhappy.

I'd suggest you should talk seriously to your partner, it is so easy to just drift along in a relationship wishing things were better but it makes no-one happy.

SandC

OP at least you recognise that you overthink things. We would all be the same in your work situation.

I too can't say leave your partner or not but hey, if I were so inclined I might see your life and have a bit of the OPLE! I'm 43 and am single and live alone. I've lived alone all my adulthood and relationships have come and gone. I'm far from 'on the shelf' and have a very fulfilled life with interests and friends but I guess it helps that I like my own space.

You seem to be being restricted by thinking you should be arranging to do things with your partner when you should be thinking of what you can do for you! Find an interest, whether that be fitness related or a group activity. Get yourself on a holiday with like minded people - I go on holidays where people are travelling on their own - not all of them are single! They just have different interests and needs to their partners.

You also might think of looking for a new job. A friend of mine was restricted by long shifts and got out of her comfort zone and went to find something new. She's still a carer but working more regular hours and is much happier as a result. You may like the work you have now but you certainly don't seem to like the environment, specifically working hours. Just have a look and see what else is available out there.

Good luck!

Buzzybee90

I don't suffer from OPLE, the only things I envy others having are material things like a big house or car, and I know they've worked hard to get there and I'm just starting out.

Sounds like you have big issues with your partner, I think you're fine thinking about this lad, as long as he/his girlfriend don't cotton on. I'm pretty sure we have all had a crush at one time or another.

The time at night must be really hard but surfing the next probably exasperates the issue. Is there a hobby you could do? Crafting? Reading?

heartbreak_star

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I don't suffer from OPLE, the only things I envy others having are material things like a big house or car, and I know they've worked hard to get there

Or are up to their eyeballs in debt

HBS x

Buzzybee90

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Or are up to their eyeballs in debt

HBS x

Not the sort of people I'm thinking of, ha. I actually didn't even know you could buy a car on finance until last year pahaha

Tropez

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Not the sort of people I'm thinking of, ha. I actually didn't even know you could buy a car on finance until last year pahaha

I think the only thing you can't get on some sort of finance in the world is hookers, but it wouldn't surprise me...