how to meet people for dating and friendship

time2getalife

hello Im after advise and opinions if any one can help, i would be really pleased.

Im a female in my mid forties with 3 children, 2 early adulthood 1 late teens. Until a few years ago i was married and had been for 20 odd years. i thought my marriage was good unfortunately he didnt feel the same and left for his co worker.
It has taken me a while to get over the marriage and all the hurt that came with that, whilst supporting our children as he didnt/dont want anything to do with them either. They are now settled and happy in their lives and i now feel ready for dating and to meet friends.

i only have a couple of friends as most were friends of both of us and have decided to break the friendship with us, so it leaves me with few friends who are all in couples and rarely want to go out with single people. Im getting really fed up of my own company and woud like to meet female friends for coffee and chat or a night out. so how do you meet friends when you are my age and dont work.

i have health issues which prevent me from working and am at present getting over having major surgery which has taken longer to heal than it should have.

as for dating was thinking of doing online dating but dont know which site is best whether to go with one of the free ones or pay to subscribe to one on the hope that the people may be more genuine if they have paid to be on the site.
my health issues restrict me in what i can do but i do try and do what i can when i can, is this likely to put men off. my ex husband knew all about my issues from the beginning when they were no where near as bad as they are now. he accepted me for who i was not what was wrong with me. im not looking for a carer i have family and friends that do that for me when needed.

if i was to start chatting to someone and eventually met up with them how soon should i tell them or shall i not bother until after a few dates, i sometimes walk with a limp and use a stick so it can at times be very obvious that i have something wrong with me. when im really bad i stay in bed all day and try and rest.

am i wrong to be wanting to meet someone and have a relationship again or should i just stay single due to health even though thats not what i want. im ready emotionally for dating but if i waited for my health to get better then it will be a long wait, im in the west midlands if that makes a difference.

thank you in advamce for any replies.

SailorSam

We've had loads of these threads if you check back.
And most of us who posted our suggestions are still sitting here on Mse of a weekend with our slippers on.

summerof0763

hi timetogetalife I know how you feel am 51 been on my own for last 4yrs since last relationship broke down, I have no friends and don't work as have a few health issues.
online dating mmmmm I would not bother with paying ones heard to many stories of fake profiles, ifyou want to try a free site there is plenty of fish but please watch as a lot out for what they can get, but there are some genuine just be clear about what you are looking for.
I wish I could help you more but am stuck in same position, so good luck, I will keep my eye on here see if anyone can can come up with ideas xx

duchy

I was 54 last week and am currently planning my (next) wedding.
I think meeting more people is the solution rather than specifically looking for a relationship.

As you broaden your social network you simply meet more people- and they meet you as the real you rather than an internet profile.

I know someone who met their partner whilst volunteering at the local cathedral at the weekend for example. They lived literally a couple of streets away but had never met.

The much mentioned Meet up is another possibility.

hazyjo

I have seen a couple of local groups on facebook where several people have started threads saying 'anyone looking to start up a walking group with me' or swimming group, sewing/knitting group, coffee group, or book group... anything really.




Worth joining up if you're not already on FB to see if there's anything you fancy joining - or if you want to start a thread yourself.


Book groups (if they're not too serious!) are usually good choices. A couple of my good friends I met through one - although the friend I went with knew them already so it wasn't quite like they were complete strangers.


Good luck.


Jx

summerof0763

well done duchy.
I must admit I have been looking for friends rather than a relationship, but I find it hard as I am rather shy and don't like pushing myself into groups.
I looked for meet ups in my town and found nothing, like op says even someone to meet up with for a coffee etc, its not easy being alone and female xx

dogcat_2

I think there are a lot of people in your position...who would like to make new friends....it's not so easy as you get older....maybe all of us on here who need friends should meet up....;):beer:

tea_lover

Standard advice really.... look for volunteering opportunities in areas that interest you (animal charities, conservation work, working with children, etc), check Meet Up for local groups (I found a book group that way), check fb etc. for local groups (singing, knitting, reading, sports). See what's on at your local church too - we have lots of community events for everyone (coffee morning, quizzes, family fun days, etc).

Personally I'd focus on getting out there, trying some new things and broadening your social life first before thinking about online dating.

Best of luck with it all

Katy43

I'm in a similar situation too. I'd be gazing towards my late 40's, if I wasn't so short sighted!

It's hard when you feel vulnerable.

I've been investigating doing some more voluntary work, it's a nice way of meeting people.

System

If you have any hobbies, skills or interests that might be a way of getting to meet people, and you'd at least have something in common with them.

summerof0763

I am seeing volunteering popping up I am on strong medication so not awake early etc so be mid afternoon before I was ready but because of my back standing is not good for me, plus I have never seen anything on facebook about any meet ups
I like reading, but never see any groups about them, xx