My boss has been lying to me!

Frankiesphone

I really do not know where to start and wondered if I could have any comments/advice you have?, I have changed names to protect identities: I will apologise for the lengthy post!

My boss and owner of the company (Amanda)
My former colleague (Martha)
My colleague on maternity leave (Rachel)

I have worked for Amanda (boss) since the start of last year, it was a difficult relationship to start with, I found her very controlling and she tended to micro manage. I found her attitude and behaviour unacceptable, after a few months, I did in fact resign. I often wondered why she employed me! After many discussions, she somehow managed to convince me to stay working for her. During our conversations, she often said that Martha, my colleague, was the cause of many office politics and arguments, she was the office bully and undermined her colleagues, and had caused many other people to leave the company. I had a string of predecessors, so in all honesty, I believed her.

Martha was my colleague, we had the same job title, I found her to be quiet but professional. She didn't say much, but she was helpful and always offered me her support. As you can imagine, I couldn't quite understand my bosses previous comments about her!. There were however, obvious signs and cracks in her relationship with Amanda, but I kept my head down and tried to ignore the daily arguments between them. I was often 'dragged into' their arguments by Amanda (boss) and I can now see, this was to cause a rift between myself and Martha. Martha however, has recently resigned and her resignation has been accepted.

A few weeks ago, I bumped into Rachel (who has been on maternity leave) and I asked her when she was coming back to work. I also said that since Martha had left, the office was now calm and more relaxed. I mentioned to her that she must be pleased, given that Martha had bullied her in the past. She was horrified at my comment, she said she had a good relationship with Martha, and it was in fact, Amanda (boss) that had been bullying her!

On reflection, I can now see that Amanda has been brain washing me, attempting to make me make complaints about Martha, but more importantly, she blatently lied to me!

I am confused and upset, I really enjoy my job, but I have worries and concerns that she may do the same to me, once I have served my purpose within the company.

Also, our emails are checked weekly and there appears to be trust issues with Amanda.

Amanda can be volatile and her moods can change in the blink of an eye. When she is in a good mood, you couldn't wish to work for anyone nicer and you'd be thankful for having such a kind and helpful boss. On the other hand, you can be made to walk on eggshells and be frightened to breathe, should she be in a bad mood.

Any advice/comments would be greatly appreciated, should I ignore what Rachel has told me, or seek different employment?

Thank you for reading and any help that you can offer.

onlyroz

I think you should start looking for something else.

gettingtheresometime

Totally agree with onlyroz.

As a side issue I wish someone would do a study into what makes people stay when they've resigned........and I speak as someone who did exactly that but eventually left

pinkshoes

Take everything 'political' Amanda says with a pinch of salt, form your own opinions of people, do not partake in office gossip, and get on with your job in a professional manner.

Or find a new job.

CH27

Find a new job & when you start don't let gossip form your opinions of people.

prowla

It is always the case that if you are needed then you are treated well and if you aren't then you are disposable.

Frankiesphone

Thank you for all your replies. Finding a new job was my main thought too, but then I thought about the reference I am likely to get from her!

Given that she was very insistent that under no terms, was she about to release me from my duties at that time, I am just confused as to why she would lie to me?.

Some of the things she told me about Martha, appear to be surfacing in my own work now. Amanda (boss) actively encourages our customers to make written complaints about us, thus meaning she will show us an email and say, this has been sent to me confidentially, and therefore I am showing you this in a confidential matter, what do you have to say for yourself?! However, we are not allowed to make contact with the customer in order to defend ourselves! The complaint is normally along the lines of so and so has not called me for a few weeks and therefore, I have not put business your way. (In actual fact, the truth is that, I have called, they were busy, they did not wish to place any orders, and stated they would call back if they did!) This though is not a valid reason!

bagpussbear

I think you should look for a new job.

19lottie82

this is a common case of office politics. sensible thing to do would be ignore it. keep your head down and get on with your work. dont repeat anything anyone says to you about other members of staff.
look for another job if the situation is too much for you, but bear in mind situations like these are pretty common in most jobs, especially office based ones.

gettingtheresometime

Frankiesphone wrote: »

Amanda (boss) actively encourages our customers to make written complaints about us, thus meaning she will show us an email and say, this has been sent to me confidentially, and therefore I am showing you this in a confidential matter, what do you have to say for yourself?! However, we are not allowed to make contact with the customer in order to defend ourselves! The complaint is normally along the lines of so and so has not called me for a few weeks and therefore, I have not put business your way. (In actual fact, the truth is that, I have called, they were busy, they did not wish to place any orders, and stated they would call back if they did!) This though is not a valid reason!

tbh I'm beginning to wonder how old you are as you are coming across as very young -would I be right in thinking this is your first job?

I would find it very strange if I was allowed to phone up a customer that had made a compliant about me (not that they have!) - the only way you can defend yourself against these sort of complaints is to keep detailed records of interactions with customers. Doesn't need to be a complicated system but would do it so that you can refer to it on a customer by customer basis

Tropez

I'd start looking for a new job if only because this type of catty bickering belongs on the school yard. If your boss is such a person, the company isn't going to perform well in the long-run.