Mum's dog bit my LO

Kira000

I have to sympathise with you OP. My mum took on a rescue dog with a history of neglect and violence and resulting trust issues, when i was 26 weeks pregnant. Her choice clearly, but given we live 3 hours away by car, we really dont have the option of day visits, so just locking the dog away when we visit is also not an option, nor will i leave my DD with someone else for several days so that i can visit. Sadly, this means that i now rarely visit my mother, and she doesn't get to see her Grand Daughter more than a handful of times a year (which she moans about!).
I have made the effort to try visiting with DD, however the dog growls and barks aggressively at me but more so my DD, and i don't feel at all comfortable, last time, she went out and left the dog in the kitchen, and when i went in to cook some food the dog growled and snapped and wouldn't let me in the kitchen! In addition, the growling makes my DD very wary of any dog, which i don't want to be the case.
Not sure this tale helps you much, but it is more sympathy that people make their own decisions when it comes to owning animals, which is their right, but it is your right to make the right decisions for you as well, and they need to take responsibility for the consequences of their choices, i.e. less visits, as you would if you ignored the issue and let your child get bitten.

sulphate

Rev wrote: »

It's exactly the same think. People base descisons on what they want out of life. The OP's mother wanted the dog. She got the dog. It's her life. She can do as she pleased with it. The child in question isn't hers. And the OP has said several times that her mother usually meets them somewhere else. Not her house. And that this has only arisen because her mother can't leave the house due to illness. So why in the world would someone base the descison on getting a dog or not on wether grandchildren she usually seems outside the house may visit on occasion. They don't live with her. Her children are grown and moved out and as such she can have whatever animals she likes in her home because it's just that. Her home. And I'm sure she didn't plan on being ill and having to be looked after when she got he dog.


My family and friends have kids. When I thought about getting a dog. Them visiting didn't enter my head because it's irrelevant. They're not my kids. Yes I live them and love them to visit but them doing so or not will never play a part in descisons I make about my own life. Because it's just that. My life.

There is a difference between getting a dog and getting a child reactive dog when you know children may come into your home on a fairly regular basis.

If you have that choice you either choose to a) not get the dog or b) get the dog but ensure you have measures in place to keep the dog away from children when they visit and make sure everyone is aware of the situation. You obviously would do the latter if your dog was known to be aggressive to children. The OP's mother seems to want to have her cake and eat it .

Rev

sulphate wrote: »

There is a difference between getting a dog and getting a child reactive dog when you know children may come into your home on a fairly regular basis.

If you have that choice you either choose to a) not get the dog or b) get the dog but ensure you have measures in place to keep the dog away from children when they visit and make sure everyone is aware of the situation. You obviously would do the latter if your dog was known to be aggressive to children. The OP's mother seems to want to have her cake and eat it .

That's exactly what I'm trying to say, I'm obviously crap at wording things. Sorry. . The OP's mother knew the dogs temperament. And should have made steps to ensure this situation never occurred. She chose to get the dog. Which is absolutely up to her. But it not inform the OP is unacceptable.
It's not okay that the dog bit the child. But we don't know the dogs history or past. We do know the OP's mother just didn't bother telling the OP or putting safety measures in place. This IMHO is completely unacceptable.

Knowing the dog is reactive is fair enough. But knowing and not informing the OP is just wrong.

fizz

OP, just keep your kids away....it is that simple!

ohreally

fizz wrote: »

OP, just keep your kids away....it is that simple!

How does that help other peoples children who may fortuitously come into contact with an aggressive dog?

duchy

ohreally wrote: »

How does that help other peoples children who may fortuitously come into contact with an aggressive dog?

That isn't the OP's problem. (fairly unlikely there will be other children who are unrelated visiting anyway though)

Personally in the OP's position I'd avoid visiting with the child....and if bringing her was unavoidable I'd shut the dog up myself the moment I arrived.

If Mum moaned about it I'd tell her straight that it was her choice to have a dog but my priority is my child .

ohreally

duchy wrote: »

That isn't the OP's problem. (fairly unlikely there will be other children who are unrelated visiting anyway though)

Doesn't the dog ever leave the house? That makes it a problem for any child unlucky enough to meet the dog. The dog has a history that can't and shouldn't be ignored or else the story will likely end in tears which can be avoided.

sulphate

ohreally wrote: »

Doesn't the dog ever leave the house? That makes it a problem for any child unlucky enough to meet the dog. The dog has a history that can't and shouldn't be ignored or else the story will likely end in tears which can be avoided.

I agree

OP has stated the dog doesn't get walked at the moment as the mother is ill... But otherwise when it is walked, being as the mother doesn't take suitable precautions to keep it away from her own grandchildren I think it's fair to assume it is probably not muzzled etc.

Unfortunately that is not within the OP's control. All she can do is suggest things but if mother isn't willing to play ball it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

thorsoak

sulphate wrote: »

One would rather hope that someone would have the foresight to not adopt a dog known to be aggressive to children if they thought children might come into their lives within the dog's lifespan. For example, someone who definitely doesn't want children.

Yes, one would hope so ....but some people become unbelievably optimistic about their abilities to "turn a dog around" :-(

FBaby

Also, my mum told me she was keeping the dog locked away during visits because it wasn't used to being around small children

have been left feeling like a bad mother for daring to let my son near a dog which i was led to believe was not dangerous when in fact it was

What do you think that a dog not used to children means other than he that he could snap and bite? Sorry but I think you are trying to avoid taking some responsibility for it and find it easier to blame your mum. It doesn't make you a bad mother, I was bitten twice by my dog when I was a child (two different dogs), but they were not taken away or anything and it never happened again despite remaining close to them. That doesn't mean that I think you should ignore the situation, just that I think you are totally over-reacting when they are easy solutions to resolve this.

I don't think I'm acting like a silly teenager by refusing to take my son there now - I have been lied to about how dangerous this dog is and this is the result of that. My mum is clearly scared that the dog will be taken away from her which is why she didn't tell me what had happened previously - in my eyes this makes her quite selfish as she has knowingly put my son at risk

And have you considered the risk to your mum's mental health and as a result potentially her health if she gives that dog away with the belief that most likely, it will end up being put to sleep? Isn't that selfish of you? You can prevent your son from being hurt again very easily, how are you going to prevent your mother potentially suffering from depression as a result? You seem to be looking at this only from your perspective as a protective mother. That's fine, that's what we are for, but as a loving daughter, shouldn't you at least consider your mum's feelings too?