Advice urgently needed-crisis in my life!

louloubelle79

hello
Well having a traumatic time of it the last week or so, my partner of 11 years says he loves me but dont know what he wants!!:mad: Wants for me to be happy but dont know if he can ever do it!!!:mad: :mad:

Now we have a 2 bed house together (mortgage)
Owe about 100k. Bought for 120k, worth about 165k now!
I am a student nurse who earns approx 6k a year-qualify April 2008.
I would like to keep the house if i can-is there any way that i could?
I am thinking i could get a lodger-but dont earn enough for the mortgage company to give me a mortgage!
Maybe i could agree to take over ex's repayments and keep the house.
What do you all suggest i should do?
I am going to ring citizens advice tomorrow to get some more advice.
HELP i dont want to be homeless, i can stay at my parents until i get on my feet after i qualify but have worked so hard for the house dont want to start all over again.
Ex says he dont care about the house and £, just hopes i will be ok!:mad:

Im in a dilemma-someone please help me

jobbingmusician

How much is the mortgage? What are the repayments?

Oh yes, I see - you owe £100k. I guess the repayments on that are a lot less than £1000 a month, but let us know how much.

You graduate in April - what are your chances of getting a job, and at what salary level (I know nursing jobs in some fields are very scarce atm )

Post back and more people will be able to help, with more info. It would certainly be silly to lose the house if we can work out a way it will be affordable from April onwards. And the more we talk it through and you have thought it through, the better position you will be in to convince your mortgage company of this.

By the way - not meaning to pry but why are you so cross with your ex - it sounds as if he's being really kind????:o

noyk

By the way - not meaning to pry but why are you so cross with your ex - it sounds as if he's being really kind????

I think its fairly obvious, he's leaving her at the moment whilst saying he still loves her but he's got to do his own selfish thing (but he doesn't know what that is).

I'm a man and to be frank, hearing that would !!!! me off so as the LLB says it's probably quite traumatic and i can sympathise.

LLB, do you have anyone (parent etc) who could help you out to get a large enough deposit so you can take on the mortgage?

On the other hand if you do think about selling it would be a fresh start too.

lynzpower

loulou,

before you start making any rash decisions - have you thought about seeing relate or a similar sort of relationship therapy.

If he "doesnt know" what he wants, then surely, it could go either way

nick22abdn

Check with your parents to see whether they would be prepared to guarantor a mortgage for you. If they are comfortable that you can afford the repayments and agree approach the bank with them. Credit scoring will only be done on them and providing their income is sufficient to justify a 100k mortgage that shouldn't be a problem

Nenen

jobbingmusician wrote: »

By the way - not meaning to pry but why are you so cross with your ex - it sounds as if he's being really kind????:o

IMHO ex is spinning a polite brush-off line... typical to put it on OP by saying things like 'I still love you and just want you to be happy but I'm not the one who can do that..' etc. I can quite understand why after 11 years and a house together the OP is feeling somewhat cross!

If he really means what he says about money not being an issue and just wants you to be happy, I would get him down to the nearest solicitor quickly (before he changes his mind again) and get him to sign the house over to you (preferably with a slice of savings to pay the mortgage with before you qualify)!:D

Gorgeous_George

There's probably another woman (or man!) involved but that's by the by.

OP, you would struggle to pay an interest only mortgage of £100K and that's before he taks out his £32.5K. The best you can do is stall him if you want to stay buit this carries a few high risks. He may stop paying the mortgage, prices could fall.

A better option may be to offer him the house in return for £32.5K. A nice little nest egg ready to buy when prices dip and after you have qualified.

Other than that, you will probably need a partner (another nurse or family member perhaps) to apply for a joint mortgage.



GG

epz_2

if your ex is serious about giving up the 65k equity it might be do able as the risk to the bank is pretty low though you may need to self cert, btl, parents halfing in etc .

100k interest only mortgage repayments are ballpark £500 a month aka your entire wage before tax. not exactly realistic to live on but if you can get a lodger and maybie some help from folks or structure the mortgage so you get a heavy discount for the first few years then start paying it off.

quick google search shows the starting salary for nurses outside london is 16K which would be tough to live on without a lodger but if they are kicking in say £250-300 a month then you can treat the £500 interest as the same as rent except it will depreciate over time.


frankly given your predicted salary owing 100k is always going to be a struggle but if you are gaining 65k equity it may be worth it though i would have thought spliting it and buying/renting a cheaper place would have been a more equitable and sensible solution.

louloubelle79

Thanks for your replies

I am mad at him, but love him so much at the same time. I really do not understand him, been together 11 years, i have let him do so much. He goes on boys holidays nearly once a month, has a great house, great mates and job just up the road! We have had a crappy year with personal stuff happenning but he said nothing to do with that.

He says that there is definately no one else!

He says he needs time to think if he wants me or not!!!Im just so angry as he says he loves me but dont know if he wants to be with me!!!!!!!!!!!

Repayments by the way are £600 a month-offset mortgage-variable.
When i qualify i will earn £19,400 for local or approx £22,000 for London.

If i had a lodger would the mortgage company (Scottish widow) im with accept that as part of my incomings to agree the mortgage?

I dont think partner would go away from this with nothing as he needs some ££ too for a deposit or something, i would be fair even after all the !!!! he has put me through.

My parents do not work, so dont think they could be creditors!!

Just dont know what to do......

Angela_D_3

I think you have to either sell up and both start again or tell him you will buy him out once you qualify.
I did this with an ex, went to a solicitor drew up a contract that basically I would buy him out when I finished uni in 2 years time and we both signed.
That worked out well and everyone was happy.
I wouldn't even mention it to the mortgage company as long as they get paid they don't care and also don't forget to deduct the half the amount of mortgage you are paying between now and the buy out date from his lump sum.

louloubelle79

Just had house valued at £168K
£99 owing on mortgage
Dont know what to do!

I think this is all going to give me a breakdown!