Am I being unreasonable?

Tropez

No, I don't think you're being unreasonable.

joyofjoys

I have now spoken to his mom and have a different story.
She has decided that it will be far to expensive to go at Christmas time. The cost for one flight alone is £1700 :eek:
I have explained that I was concerned about the kids having Christmas day away from both parents and she has said that their dad will go too (she hasn't told him this yet.)

I have made it clear that I am ok with 7 days over Christmas as long as their dad is going too. I have also explained if it was at any other time I would not mind if he didn't go.

If I am totally honest now I don't think they will go anywhere at all. I am now waiting for the fall out with the ex when he knows I have been speaking to his mom.

shegirl

Seriously,why are you bothering with any of this?

She has now told you they are not going anyway,that is the end of it.Your kids are staying put.Forget it all and have a nice Christmas with your children

joyofjoys

Pollycat wrote: »

Make sure your ex-MIL is clear about your reasons for saying 'no'.

I assume that you'd be OK (but obviously not happy) if your ex was with the kids for the whole of the holiday?

Then, hopefully, your ex-MIL could talk to her son about changing his dates (but you'd need to be convinced that he wasn't pulling a fast one).

BTW, how old are the kids and do you think they'd like to be away from you and family at Christmas (if they are old enough to decide)?

I did ask ds2 this afternoon and he said he would prefer to have his dad there.
If they now go to Turkey instead it will only be her and her daughter (if he doesn't go) which seems to be such a lonely Christmas without any parents or the 30 family members they are normally with on Christmas day.

joyofjoys

shegirl wrote: »

Seriously,why are you bothering with any of this?

She has now told you they are not going anyway,that is the end of it.Your kids are staying put.Forget it all and have a nice Christmas with your children

Thanks Shegirl
I am no longer as worried but she still wants to go to Turkey. I will no longer fret over it unless they come back to me about it.

joyofjoys

I would just like to say thanks to everyone that responded
It is much appreciated.

shegirl

shegirl wrote: »

Seriously,why are you bothering with any of this?

She has now told you they are not going anyway,that is the end of it.Your kids are staying put.Forget it all and have a nice Christmas with your children

joyofjoys wrote: »

Thanks Shegirl
I am no longer as worried but she still wants to go to Turkey. I will no longer fret over it unless they come back to me about it.

If it's over Christmas just say no,it's not right.

bagpussbear

shegirl wrote: »

Seriously,why are you bothering with any of this?

She has now told you they are not going anyway,that is the end of it.Your kids are staying put.Forget it all and have a nice Christmas with your children

Wholeheartedly agree with this ^^^

It's overly complicated, and so not the best situation to put your kids in, nor yourself for that matter.

Stay home, with the kids with you. End of.

michelle2008

I just wanted to add I think you sound really reasonable. You seriously considered being without your children over christmas - most people would say no immediately. Your kids are really lucky to have you.

Go with your instinct - as an auntie while I love seeing my neices at christmas I totally understand I am a poor second to their mum and dad. I would never want them to be away from both parents on Christmas Day. Your in-laws should understand.

But again - you are awesome for thinking about all sides and being really selfless