I hate Christmas. Who's with me?

KxMx

purpleshoes wrote: »

Its very much another day for me too. I dont drive either and sometimes rather than get a taxi from my mums to mine Ive walked it, around 2 miles. I only have my mum and brother. I wouldnt spend the fare and a half.

Ive also been single for almost 10 years. However, Im a big believer in it's what you make it.

Im quite happy spending time with my mum, I see her a lot anyway but we have a good time, just me and her, see my brother on Christmas Eve for a while.

I dont have a partner now but when I was in a long term relationship and miserable, my Christmases were the same, miserable.

Id much rather be single and happy than be with someone who wasn't right for me and unhappy.

I bet lots of families dont have a merry christmas, its easy to think everyone else is having one when they probably aren't.

Perhaps I should have said I still live at home with Mum if that wasn't clear from my post.

I am also very unhappy being sick (8 years and counting, getting progressively worse still no diagnosis), single (for ever) and still living at home at my age.

That doesn't mean I don't love my Mum dearly which I do. Indeed when she broke her wrist last year just before Xmas I willingly ran round for 2 days making sure she had a nice time even though I was ill and exhausted. Must have done 5 loads of washing up over 2 days lol even with a much pared down Xmas lunch and getting contributions for Boxing Day food from family who came round.

Good for you if you are happy but I am not and there is nothing to say I have to be in my circumstances. Most days I carry on pretending things are better than they are and put a smile on my face. However Christmas is a bugbear where I cannot be all "yeah that's fine I love spending Christmas sick, single and stuck at home with just Mum like pretty much every other Xmas or an ordinary day".



So please no advice about keeping positive and making things what they are. I do what I can but cracks will out and Christmas is one of them.

Not looking for a Hallmark Christmas just something I haven't done every time for the past 26 years or even one in better circumstances would be wonderful.

purpleshoes_2

KxMx wrote: »

Perhaps I should have said I still live at home with Mum if that wasn't clear from my post.

I am also very unhappy being sick (8 years and counting, getting progressively worse still no diagnosis), single (for ever) and still living at home at my age.

That doesn't mean I don't love my Mum dearly which I do. Indeed when she broke her wrist last year just before Xmas I ran round for 2 days making sure she had a nice time even though I was ill and exhausted. Must have done 5 loads of washing up over 2 days lol even with a much pared down Xmas lunch and getting contributions for Boxing Day food from family who came round.

Good for you if you are happy but I am not and there is nothing to say I have to be in my circumstances To me Christmas is another day and I would love to do something different! Not looking for a Hallmark Christmas just something I haven't done for the past 26 years or even one in better circumstances.

No there isnt anything to say you have to be happy in your circumstances, but Ive had my rough times too. I lost a very close relative very suddenly a few years ago just before christmas, the funeral was the day before Christmas Eve, Im sure people wouldn't need to think too hard about what kind of Christmas and New Year and beyond we had that year. Ive also lost two very significant people in my life (family), again not long before Christmas one in very tragic circumstances, I remember being out with friends because they asked me and everyone was partying around me and I was just heartbroken. I know its tough for a lot of people out there, Ive worked in kids homes where some kids have literally nothing and no one and that doesn't mean we all need to bounce around being grateful for our lot.

But we all have the power to change something about our lives, even if its just a really small thing.

I didnt actually go out and socialise for the entire festive period last year. I got to the beginning of December, couldnt be bothered with sitting in packed pubs and didnt go out again until mid January (I mean for a night out, not day to day).

For a lot of people it is just another day, but if you want to do something different, have a think about what that something different is and try and get there.

purpleshoes_2

KxMx wrote: »

Perhaps I should have said I still live at home with Mum if that wasn't clear from my post.

I am also very unhappy being sick (8 years and counting, getting progressively worse still no diagnosis), single (for ever) and still living at home at my age.

That doesn't mean I don't love my Mum dearly which I do. Indeed when she broke her wrist last year just before Xmas I willingly ran round for 2 days making sure she had a nice time even though I was ill and exhausted. Must have done 5 loads of washing up over 2 days lol even with a much pared down Xmas lunch and getting contributions for Boxing Day food from family who came round.

Good for you if you are happy but I am not and there is nothing to say I have to be in my circumstances. Most days I carry on pretending things are better than they are and put a smile on my face. However Christmas is a bugbear where I cannot be all "yeah that's fine I love spending Christmas sick, single and stuck at home with just Mum like pretty much every other Xmas or an ordinary day".



So please no advice about keeping positive and making things what they are. I do what I can but cracks will out and Christmas is one of them.

Not looking for a Hallmark Christmas just something I haven't done every time for the past 26 years or even one in better circumstances would be wonderful.

I think to be honest if people post on any thread, other people will respond. Im certainly not someone who walks about telling people to have a positive mental attitude and everything will be ok, as I said, Ive been through my down times as well.

All I do know is and Ive been there myself, is that people won't come knocking on your door, at some point you (anyone), need to meet people halfway.

Or just stay stuck where you are.

KxMx

purpleshoes wrote: »

For a lot of people it is just another day, but if you want to do something different, have a think about what that something different is and try and get there.

purpleshoes wrote: »

All I do know is and Ive been there myself, is that people won't come knocking on your door, at some point you (anyone), need to meet people halfway.

Or just stay stuck where you are.

I have been battling to get my health issues diagnosed for 8 years so I assure you I am well used to following the paths you advise. In fact my attitude of being assertive and looking for new ways to achieve that in all probability saved my life a few months ago! So I do not need to be told that thank you!!

With the only transport being expensive and not reliable (by which I mean strictly no advance booking xmas day which does not correlate well with my health issues), poor health, little money and relatives doing their own thing, I do try and come up with something different to do at Christmas but have so far failed.

The only thing I keep coming back to is volunteering somewhere. But that is assuming my health is good enough, I can get transport provided and don't mind leaving Mum at home alone (she works very hard and Christmas is an important rest break for her). I am unsure if I am willing to do the latter.

It's something to think on anyway.

Anyway, it's a shame I have been singled out for my views on a thread which is supposed to be about a mutual dislike of Christmas and given "advice" on attitudes which I already follow. Not my fault if they don't easily translate into experiencing a different Christmas! I keep trying though despite how you seem to paint me!

:cool:

BigAunty

I hate the consumer frenzy that now typifies Christmas but I love the opportunity to catch up with friends and relatives.

I tend to avoid the shops for the whole of December and buy small gifts for my young nieces and nephews and give a nice bottle of booze to my siblings and parents. My partner and I just buy a token gift like a book, CD or toiletries.

This means Christmas usually comes in at under £100 in total, far less than some people spend on each close relative.

If we can afford to, and get time off work, we have a holiday in the Canary Islands over Xmas/New year. It can be an extra £300 than a summer holiday because of the vacation premium but as I don't splash out on unnecessary gifts and huge trolley loads of uneaten food, it pays for itself.

The only extra food bought for Xmas is a nice box of choccies. My MIL makes mince pies, sausage rolls and a xmas pud.

Xmas is what you make it. There are loads of meditation retreats over the festive period for those who want to avoid it in its entirety...

purpleshoes_2

KxMx wrote: »

I have been battling to get my health issues diagnosed for 8 years so I assure you I am well used to following the paths you advise. In fact my attitude of being assertive and looking for new ways to achieve that in all probability saved my life a few months ago! So I do not need to be told that thank you!!

With the only transport being expensive and not reliable (by which I mean strictly no advance booking xmas day which does not correlate well with my health issues), poor health, little money and relatives doing their own thing, I do try and come up with something different to do at Christmas but have so far failed.

The only thing I keep coming back to is volunteering somewhere. But that is assuming my health is good enough, I can get transport provided and don't mind leaving Mum at home alone (she works very hard and Christmas is an important rest break for her). I am unsure if I am willing to do the latter.

It's something to think on anyway.

Anyway, it's a shame I have been singled out for my views on a thread which is supposed to be about a mutual dislike of Christmas and given "advice" on attitudes which I already follow. Not my fault if they don't easily translate into experiencing a different Christmas! I keep trying though despite how you seem to paint me!

:cool:

Im actually not trying to paint you as anything. Thanks for the words in bold, nothing like being given the waggy finger.

And I wasnt singling you out, I was actually trying to say that Ive been in a similar situation and I know how tough it is. Ive also had health issues over the years.

But if my posts were too rainbows and unicorns for you it wasn't actually meant to be like that, as I said, I know what its like to have some really awful Christmases where you feel like you'd be anywhere else and you'd rather speak to me like you're a headteacher and I'm a naughty pupil, (words in bold, how lovely) then of course, I'll exit and you can carry on saying what you have to say to other people who might share your viewpoint.

No need to respond, no desire to carry on whatever argument you think Im trying to have with you when Ive actually got much better things to do.

red_devil

It would be more special if it was like the olympics every 4 years.

DUKE

I can't stand it & I'm actually surprised that it's still going! :eek:

pickledonionspaceraider

DUKE wrote: »

I'm actually surprised that it's still going! :eek:

So am I, to be honest with you

For a lot of people, Christmas is quite possibly the most miserable time of year

brightonman123

Used to love it when younger, and parents were around.


Now dread the expectation to spend on pressies, meals out etc, on a low income..