A fresh start & learning to be thrifty

RedCola

I have started a new thread for the meal planning, here;
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/66456725#Comment_66456725

However if everyone feels it would be better here, I will repost it on this thread and delete the other one (?)

FairyPrincessk

It looks like you are getting plenty of replies on the other thread, so I wouldn't worry about it. It doesn't really matter, I just wanted to make sure people would see it and help you quickly.

Baby steps are so important--start with a meal plan and stick to it. Keep up with your fly-lady baby steps and remember to think about what you HAVE accomplished.

For the weekends, I'd suggest looking around for some ideas and then letting the kids choose---since you have a fair spread of ages and a lot of time on your own with the kids it might be a better idea to collaborate on a special gift for dad.

Some of these ideas are better than others:
http://www.ivillage.ca/parenting/easy-crafts-kids/homemade-christmas-gifts
http://www.parentmap.com/article/15-homemade-christmas-gifts-that-kids-can-make

I saw you had brownie mix in your list of foods--they might make a good baking project.


Perhaps your oldest could start making their own packed lunch? We'll give you ideas on the meal thread, but it might make your evenings a bit less hectic. Given some simple guidelines it might free up five minutes for you.

RedCola

I really like 5he idwa of Christmas projects and the boys seem excited about it! M daughter would have fun too, Im sure

RedCola

Ok, so feeling like I may get there now. Have just taken a break from meal planning for a coffee and to post on here.
Packed lunch ideas would be great too, ds1 always seems so hungry! However, rides his bike to and from school and is active there too.
So cooked the kids tea, managed homework/ reading withmy older 2, got a rough plan for meals this week and cleared up dinner.
Still feel as Im in chaos, just managed not to let it overwhelm me

FairyPrincessk

:THooray! It sounds like you did a fab job! You got everything done that had to be done AND you did a meal plan on top of that. your meal plan will help you get organized with dinners, which was one of the main things you were worried about so you've made progress. You've done the hardest part--you've acknowledged the problem, decided what needs to be done and made a start. I've left a few packed lunch ideas on the foods thread. I don't make packups for any children, so no idea what is and isn't allowed in schools these days but hopefully some of those ideas will get you started.x

FairyPrincessk

RedCola--you might check this link to see if there are any free events near you that the kids might enjoy this weekend. Some of it might be a bit boring for them, but worth a try if you want an outing:

http://www.heritageopendays.org.uk/

Busy_Mee

Hi - my very first post. I have been lurking about on here for a while, but was really struck by your situation. You could have been me a few years ago.

The first thing to send is a virtual hug and say you are not alone in this- loads of people have been in the same situation and it will get better. You are probably at the most financially difficult time in your life - 3 children, and one still a baby impacts massively on the family finances. It impacts on the ability of one of you to work and you end up managing on one wage - this can only get better as the children get older. For now though do try and enjoy the kids - they are little for such a short period of time.

My kids are older now and they don't remember us being hard up when they were little, but they have lots of lovely memories of some of the free things we did. Having no money, wearing second hand clothes doesn't have any negative impact on them long term - in fact it teaches them the value of money, a great work ethic and they appreciate everything they get. All kids really need is to be well cared for, happy and loved x

You are doing brilliantly - you seem to have got a plan to get your finances on track and lots of great advice from the forum. I think if you can treat money saving as your job and as a bit of a challenge - it some how feels much better and you get a really buzz out of every penny saved. You will probably find that this will change your life - I am still really careful on how we spend our money even though we are no longer in debt. This enables so many more choices in life - helping the kids the university, holidays and now trying to pay the mortgage off early.

You do need to try and look after yourself though - if you are struggling with feeling down, there are some things you can do that might help:
Try and get outside as much as you can. There have been lots of studies that show both exercise and connecting with the outdoors really help elevate your mood and can alleviate depression. The kids will enjoy it too and it might tire them out to make bedtimes a bit easier !
Build a support network - You don't mention whether you have any family support. I lived a long way away from my family so had no babysitters etc, but I managed to build a great support network of friends in a similar situation and with kids of a similar age. We used to swop kids and babysit for each other, pass on secondhand clothes and equipment and have some good social times at little cost. Picnics in the park, walks in the woods, cups of coffee round each other's houses are all much better with company - the kids play together and you get a bit of time for a good chat too. We are all still good friends now even though the kids are grown up.
If you do feel that you are depressed though then do go and see your doctor - don't struggle on on your own.

With regard to your finances, I presume that you have already been through all your outgoings to see if you can reduce them. If not the Debt Free board has lots of advice. You could post an SOA on there if you haven't already done so.
Have a think about any ways you can make some money - again there is lots of advice on here. I find selling stuff on eBay a good way of making extra cash. It would be good in your situation to see if you can sell stuff to build up a little emergency fund whilst your finances are so difficult - unexpected cost can be a real blow when you have so little money to play with.
Anyway I hope this helps - Keep your chin up and let us all know how you are getting on x

kboss2010

Re: packed lunches - you're probably all fed up of me harping on about this in various threads but - bento boxes!!

You can put anything in them and, because it's a kind of pick-and-mix lunch, it's hard to get bored of.

You can make your own bento box using a large Tupperware tub and several smaller ones inside:


You can literally fill them with anything! Here's the stuff I've tried so far on fussy OH:

Wraps with tuna/cheese/chicken/pesto/ham etc. etc.
HM pasta salad (tuna, sweetcorn, peppers & mayo)
Grapes/cubed melon/apple slices/strawbs
Sugar snap peas/carrot sticks/pepper sticks & houmous dip
HM sweet & savoury scones (take minutes to make and you can bake them whilst you're cooking dinner in the oven!) - cheese, raisin, cherry (recipe here:http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/cheesescones_1287)
Mini pork pie slices
Cheese slices/triangles & crackers (you can even make those expensive snack pot things with ritz crackers, cheese slices and ham for pennies)
Bread sticks & Nutella dip
Mini chocolate bars
Small bag of "crisps" e.g. Jacob's oddities, chip sticks, tangy toms etc.
Almonds & raisins/sultanas
Small yoghurt pot/tube - DIY it with a mini Tupperware pot filled from a large yoghurt tub
A few sweets from a share-sized bag


If you prep everything at the start of the week it makes it quick and easy to put together each day.

Also, DIY shortcrust pastry is great for making pies. Pastry and baking always used to scare me as it sounded quite complex for this microwave queen but it's really simple, cheap, quick and easy!

Basic pastry: (prep time 5 minutes!)
200g plain flour
100g margarine/butter (whatever you have and cheap stuff works as well as expensive)
Pinch of salt
A little cold water

Rub the butter and flour with your fingertips in a bowl until you get a kind of breadcrumb consistency.
Add pinch of salt.
Add a little cold water (about 4 tbsp) and mix with a wooden spoon. Keep adding a little at a time until it *just* sticks together and roll into a ball (you don't want it to be "wet").
Flour a rolling pin, roll out et voila!

This can be used for savoury tarts, pies, quiches etc.

if using as a "lid" to a pie, just put the pie filling into an oven-proof dish and place rolled out pastry on top.

If using for a tart/quiche, grease a shallow oven-proof dish, line the dish with the rolled out pastry, pierce with a fork a few times and bake in a 200 oC oven for 10-15 mins. Take out, add filling and cook until browned -
tart - whatever you like
quiche - 3 beaten eggs, 200mL milk and whatever you have - peas, feta cheese, grated cheese, bacon, onion, broccoli - bake until the middle is firm and the top browned. If it starts to brown before it's set, cover with tin foil.

monnagran

I'm not going down the food question road. You'll get plenty of advice on that. I do want to give you a big hug and some encouragement.

Feeling overwhemed by the state of the house etc - now there I can empathise. I've found the flylady ideas very helpful once you learn to ignore the more fanciful bits.
A morning and evening routine for you and the children makes life a bit simpler. Also your best bit of equipment is your kitchen timer. Look at one little area, the end of a counter, a coffee table, the corner of a room, and set your timer for ten or fifteen minutes. Now GO FOR IT! It is amazing what you can accomplish in a short time if you are really focussed.

x

Aril

As a cleaner I would say some of the short cut ways of making a house look half decent is empty the bins, get rid of bits of paper, put things into neat piles and away in drawers until you feel you can deal with them. It's amazing how you'll not notice dust etc if you've hoovered the floor [only the bit that shows], wipe down your kitchen surfaces sweep the floor [you can hoover it much quicker] give the bathroom a quick spit and polish and buff up the taps with a microfibre cloth. Shiny taps make it all seem so much cleaner. If you've got ironing to be done stick it in a washing basket or a big bag and put it in the cupboard until you feel ready to deal with it.
Arilx