A fresh start & learning to be thrifty

[Deleted User]

Well done honey you've done the hardest bit already. By having your 'light bulb moment' you are taking control of things .We have all been brassic at one time or another and we're not 'domestic goddesses' on here either .Mostly just ordinary people who have hit hard times or remember them fairly vividly.We are all here to help if we can. I had some lean times back in the 1970s when the mortgage rate hit 15% and there always seemed to be 'too much month left until the end of the month' IYSWIM but I survived and you will too.

Definitely meal plan and do it around what you already have in stock.After all you bought the food with the intention of eating it .Silly thing to help you streeetch your food out will help.Re entertainment .How old are your children.One most important thing is if you can get a cheap or even better 'free' babysitter (offer to do a swap with another Mum for the evening ) even for an hour so you and OH can just go for a walk and talk on your own will make all the difference.

I was very lucky I had a gorgeous elderly neighbour called Flo who insisted that OH and I went out at least once a week even for just a walk without the children, helps remind you of why you married in the first place if you can get some 'grown up time together'

My late OH and I always said first there was 'us',then the kids came along as a bonus , then it was 'us' again. Helps get things into perspective sometimes .Worrying is a very easy trap to fall into ,but worrying won't help either of you. The kids won't expire if they can't have everthing they want .

Basic stuff comes first . Roof over your head, and food in your tummy,anthing else is a bonus.

As a previous poster said even just a cuppa in the garden when the weather is nice bucks you up a bit. OK so finances are tight and money is scarce, but love is free and so are hugs and a cuddle.

So library's for books for the kids or a DVD , usually fairly cheap to rent (my library it costs 50p to rent a DVD.) If you aren't brilliant at making pizza dough,why not just fall back on egg,chips and beans with a jelly for pudding. Kids like jacket spuds as a rule and let them make up a topping, or choose what they would like. Coming from the days of rationing as a small child my late Mum would sometimes fall back on bread and jam to fill up her hungry brood at tea time(especially my middle brother who had hollow legs)

Coming on this site will help you no end and we will all give you a 'virtual' helping hand when it comes to ideas for feeding yourself and the children.

Throw all the ideas about your 'must have seven pieces of fruit and veg a day out of the window.I certainly didn't back in the 1940s and I've survived. When you have more available cash, then by all means fruit and veg are there for buying , but at the moment concentrate on getting through the next few weeks without too many hassles.

I am not advocating unhealthy eating habits just common sense and being realistic. I love fruit and veg, and a third of my food budget goes on it. I make home made soup ( easy-peasy and very cheap)I make biscuits and bake cakes I rarely buy anything that I can't make better myself at home ,but then, I have had over 50 years of practice.Get a sensible book from the library, or check on the 'net there are hundreds of cheap and easy meals to make.You don't have to be a 'Nigella' Try Margeurite Pattens books as she is of my era and a very down-to earth cook. Look on Shirley Goode's blog she is also my era and has written lots of sensible books about cooking.None of the 'take 6 eggs ' variety, just ways to get you through tough times.Most important try to keep a sense of humour and remember 'These things will pass' and one day you will look back and wonder what you were getting so stressed about .You have your health and children and OH to help you enjoy your life and hopefully
us lot on here will help you sort your menus out.
Its baby steps, and take one day at a time
Onwards and upwards honey

JackieO xxx

Gigervamp

One thing you can do with the kids is blackberrying. There are loads around at the moment and it's free fruit. If you look around, you might even find some wild apple or plum trees too.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Hi RedCola, I just want to add ((HUGS)) and support to all the good advice already posted, and you really have done the hardest bit by both you and OH realising things have to change.

The next hardest bit is not to worry and get in a state about it.
I have worried myself silly in the past, and it doesn`t help!
Try to focus on what really matters, what is positive in your life, even in this tight situation, take as much control as you can, and don`t beat yourself up about what you can`t do.
Your OH is onside, you are therefore a team.
If your kids are old enough, explain things simply to them and try to present it as a `challenge`and get them onside too, they may have loads of ideas about free fun.
Keep posting, every little triumph or failure shared will help.
Good Luck. x

LameWolf

Hi Redcola; I just wanted to add to the words of encouragement and welcome.

I have all my household accounts, plus a comprehensive food inventory and my meal plan, on spreadsheets on the computer. I find this the easiest way to keep it all up to date and keep track of spending and supplies.

I also get DH to help me meal plan (he has to eat what I cook, and if he's helped decide what we're having, he doesn't whinge if it's not brilliant);)

Anyways, you've had loads of good advice, so I'm not going to witter on with a tonne more, just wish you the very best of luck.:o

RedCola

Ok, so I did as advised on got writing my list of foods today. I have an awful lot of stuff in looking at it all, almost to the point where I feel embarrassed putting it up! However, I have to make it last as long as I can, with minimum spending. It needs to feed 5 of us too, breakfast, lunch & dinner. I have no idea what to cook with what, if that makes sense?
Do I post it up on here, or should I start a new thread for the food? I really would rather do that as I am really liking the support on here for all the things I need help with & dont want it turned into a food thread, if that makes sense.

RedCola

With regards to my other probs, I am still sticking to the flylady babysteps, though like foolsgold said, I want it done yesterday!
Some really lovely words on here from you all too, thank you. I feel like I can achieve this and I certainly didnt before I posted. I am rereading all the advice when I get the kids settled later, and am going to do them bit by bit.
I really appreciate everyone sharing their stories too, is good to see it is possible to be happy & helps put things in a realistic way for me.

FairyPrincessk

Hi RedCola,

I've been reading along but didn't want to overwhelm you with another post. You can post the food list here or make another list, but I'd actually suggest you keep it here as people may have subscribed to this thread.

How old are your children? And, if you feel comfortable, what general part of the country are you in/do you have a car? It might help us to come up with some free or very low cost activities for you.

I'll suggest
-a board game night, with snacks or cocoa.
-a walk/pic-nic in a nearby park
-a baking day where you make your own bread/cake/buns whatever you have the ingredients in for and think the kids would find fun
-a welcome to autumn day when you plan some autumn treats and decide not to put the heating on until then (might help to save on your heating bills too!) Bake something festive, go out for a walk in the evening etc.
-Decide to have a homemade xmas now. Plan to make gifts with each of the kids (gives them a 'secret project'). Designate 'secret project' time for a little while each weekend where everyone works on their gifts (post ages and we can help come up with ideas!) Also work on making decorations for the house such as strung popcorn, paper chains etc. Designate a day in December to put up all of the decorations and make gingerbread men that day. Count it down on a wall calendar with the children.
-Google 'free stuff to do' if you live in a city or town, or if you can get to a nearby city or town cheaply. Make a list of all of the things that sound fun, including museums, festivals etc. and put them on a calendar on the wall.

BJV

I have had times when work kids home it all seemed just a little too much and now think I am amazed I got through it but you can too.


The first thing to admit is that you are not super woman you can not do everyone on your own. So take a back step and just start small. Even small changes make big big differences.


So although ( OMG you sound like me ) want everything done last night of earlier if poss just set yourself one target each day.


Above all just don't panic there are loads of people to help.

Butterfly_Brain

Welcome redcola, you have made a good start in coming on here.
Don't be embarrassed about what you have in your cupboards and freezer, that is brilliant and if you post it, there are plenty of us who can help with meal ideas, the more you have the better because you can start putting money into getting rid of your debts.

• I agree with meal planning, preferably around what you have in already, which means you can cut the shopping to the bone.
• Always write a list before you go shopping and stick to it!
• Take cash and leave your cards at home, it makes you more aware of what you are spending.
• Write down everything you spend for the next couple of months which will help you to identify where you could cut back on things such as bought coffees, lunches, sweeties, takeaways and other unnecessary items that you don't think of.
• Cook everything from scratch to save money, cut down on portion sizes and waste. If you have leftovers use them in another meal.

Do you have any problems with fussy eaters, health problems, vegetarians in the family? This will help us when helping with meal ideas.


Good luck to you, just remember it will not all come together overnight, but you have taken the first baby steps to a debt free life x

RedCola

Lovely ideas
My children are 12yrs, 5yrs and 20months.
I signed my 5yr old up for the free school meaals that are available for ks2 now, however my older son isnt entitled obviously, so will be on packed lunches.
My husband works shifts, so sometimes is home for lunch, sometimes not. He is rarely home for dinner. Doesnt normally get home until midnight when hes on late so most nights its just me and the kids. Im shattered by then and struggle with homework, cooking dinner, showers/ baths, tidying up, bedtimes etc. At the moment I normally only succeed in getting 2 or 3 done from that list, although always dinner of course.