A fresh start & learning to be thrifty

RedCola

DH & I have realised that we cant carry on how we are. We are £1000s in debt ( have posted on dfw about this)
We need to change our ways & I really would appreciate some advice! We are probably throwing ourselves in at the deep end as are mega tight this month. As it stands we are trying to make extra cash for the 8th Oct to pay a £700+ fee to stop court.
So I suppose we need ideas on how to eat with what we have in, how to keep the kids entertained for free or pennies, how to make sure we dont fall out from the stress! (Maybe free or cheap ideas for nights in, when he isnt working) and anything else to live a nice family life on practically no money.
Im also stating to feel down, due to be overwhelmed and need to get a handle on the running of the house- there is bags of stuff to sell everywhere, I am behind on the housework and cant get back on top of it, completely disorganised with cooking dinners and the kids bedtime routine. I feel exhausted and want to get a grip of it all, as am scared of depression taking me over again.

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Maitane

Okay, first things first - Welcome to Old Style. You're in a great place with a lot of people with so many varied skills who will be happy and able to help you.

You've at least got the desire to do something so you've got part of the battle down.

For cooking, why not take a look at the Grocery Challenge thread? Along with any thread along the lines of "Only got £X this week/month, what should I cook?" There are loads of ideas about for even the fussiest of eaters.

Another good idea is to do a freezer and cupboard audit, see what you have in and how many meals you can get out of it without shopping.

For housework, try the Flylady thread. Lots of people use it as a way to make the housework manageable and to get into a routine.

If you feel like you need a chat or just some tips, the daily thread is good for a natter and the OS Doorstep is a place to vent and receive support from those in a similar situation as well as to hear some kind words.

Good luck and I hope you can use the information here to help.

gayle1

hugs one step at a time you are a person not a robot xxx will hubby give you a hand? with dinners and kids?
routines for kids are tricky ours works bath book bed ages 6 and 8 and in bed for 9 but everyone is different.
go for walks weathers still nice go to the park as a family b and q run a free kidsclub on a saturday u need to register and call in advance but its for age 7 and up

whichwhydoIturn

Okay , an expert will be along I'm sure to advice .in the meantime , speak to the CAB see if the action is correct & and options available to you
List everything you spend , everything .plan meals based on what you have , use websites like supercook to help you create meals with what you have at home .
Speak to the CAB about foodbank help, if it's needed .
As for keeping today , concentrate on 1 area of the house at a time, be a counter top or a drawer . Make a plan for decluttering / tidying that is realistic and stick to it .
As for nights out / stress relievers, spending money is out of the question, just setting foot outside in the garden with a cuppa , HM biscuit maybe a tea light candle or two, or an evening walk, whee you can just talk, no background music , no spending involved , just nice quiet time HTH

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi, sounds like you have got a lot on your plate. This whole old style thing takes time and practice so dont be too hard on yourself.

I would advise mealplanning. The idea is that you only shop for what you need so you dont have 8 tins of beans in the cupboard or 8 packets of chicken breasts in the freezer when you have no idea what you bought them for!

Sit down and work out what you are having for tea for the next week then see if you already have some of the ingredients. Then you shop for only what else you need - plus extra for breakfasts and lunches. Not only does this save you money but makes life easier too.

Oh and cleaning stuff, most of it is unnecessary and expensive so think about whether you really need it or can buy cheaper.

With housework, try and break it down into manageable tasks - rather than seeing a whole house that needs cleaning and tidying. Try the flylady principle of concentrating on one room a day until you get back on track. Or say to yourself I will spend an hour tackling the kitchen or whatever - then I can stop if I want to.

Try and make a bit of time for yourself too. Let us know how you are getting on, we are very friendly around here.

nmlc

Hi

You've tackled the hardest bit, by acknowledging you need to do something! I agree with all the advice that has been given already in the previous posts. Try not to tackle everything at once, otherwise you'll just make yourself feel even more overwhelmed, a good place to start would be do a list of what you have in store cupboard/fridge/freezer, so you can then do a menu plan based around that, write it down, so you have something to follow. It helps you feel like you're in control. Give yourself a few weeks of doing this, it will soon become second nature. Then look at a room at a time, and tackle a bit at a time. It will probably be a good idea to sort all the items yoiu want to sell and get that going early on as this will automatically help with decluttering.

Remember it's not a competition, do it at a steady pace, so you feel in control and not overwhelmed.

Good luck
HTH
nmlc x

RedCola

Thank you for all the replies. So, I will start tomorrow after the school run & write a list of all food we have in. I dont think we will need a food bank just yet, T hough may be possible at some point soon. We do have quite a bit in, I dont quite know what to make with it all etc.
With the housework, I started flylady before the weekend and am working throught the steps, though will get over to the thread on here too.
Will also checl out the threads you mentioned Maitane

foolsgold01

Hi RedCola,

I can totally relate to this - just check out my signature!

It is overwhelming I totally agree and I have found to tackle things not all at once which others have also noted but individually. Easier said than done it is true as I want everything sorted like yesterday but its going to be a long journey with bumps along the way but as a family we are determined to get there and do it our way.

I personally have also thought about doing one of those debt free diaries to be able to write and see where we have come and where we started out (like now) but my problem is I am not sure I have the time as I work 4 days a week and have an 18month old, an 8 year old and a DH who can be like another child at times

One of the best bits of advice we have been given (and we have been doing for about 2 months now) is completing a spending diary. It shows where all those pounds and pence go after the bills that get taken out. Its quite an eye opener!!

Another thing we were also recommended by the CAB is to food shop more frequently but less each time. Originally this idea horrified me BUT it so works for us. I have also joined the grocery challenge and have budgeted this month on £250 to include everything!! I want to see if its possible for a family of 4 and a fussy cat! This month is a really tough one for us as well.

As others have also said I have also started to meal plan and this also helps to know what we are having in advance and what we need for it. I have also found that I can sometimes make too much so this then helps with leftovers and creating meals elsewhere thereby having an extra days food I hadn't planned for.

This by no means happens overnight but it is all do-able. I am the worlds most organised person...if I can do it be organised then anyone can!!

Keep talking, there is tonnes of support on this forum and one I never thought I would do myself but so pleased I have

Good luck and remember take each day...

FG x

Kittenkirst

Hi there!
Sorry to hear about your money worries but you are in the best place here on the boards.

With the selling items: I would just take a look at what you have and decide whether to ebay, Facebook group (or gumtree) or car boot.

I did a car boot today which went great but for some if the things I thought wouldn't reach a good price I have put on eBay. You get 20 free listings a month. I take pics of a few items and list a couple every few nights. That means there is only a few top a jäger and post a week and doesn't seem too big a task!

A suggestion for family nights in- a pizza and popcorn movie night. Trade a few DVDs with friends, make some pizzas from scratch (dough is dead easy, tomatoes pur!e, mozzarella and a few toppings do everyone can make their own). Some popping corn in a pan then once popped add sugar.

Family movie night with treats on the cheap ��

maman

You've had good advice on the all round issues redcola. Definitely get out of the house, in the fresh air, all you can while the weather holds.


On the food front, do that inventory tomorrow of all you've got in and we'll take it from there.


Meantime, get a good night's sleep!:)

sillyinthepast

Welcome to the boards.

I agree with everything that's been written so far. Definitely meal pan, I would o through the cupboards, freezer and fridge and see what meals, snacks you can make and then write a list and stick to it.

Start with a room at a time, maybe tomorrow as you are going through the cupboards, sort the kitchen out as you will be using it a lot. Each night make sure it's clean so you can do another room the next day.

For keeping the children entertained - how old are they? - we have a great on a Friday night which is homemade pizza, homemade dessert and a DVD. The children love it. We also do lots of board games.

It's hard being skint but it doesn't have to be miserable. We don't have lots of money but I am very happy. The house is clean and tidy, I light a candle and we have blankets on the sofa. It makes me happy to feel cosy and knowing the children are happy.

I also make time for me. I find saving money is harder work and especially this time of year where I am putting lots of food away from the allotment it's busy. I feel sometimes no one notices what I have done - the ironing, jam making, cleaning the bath, etc. My me time is crafting which I make time for everyday and every Sunday night I have a pamper session where I have a long bath with face mask, hair mask and a good book. I completely agree with the old saying if momma ain't happy then no ones happy. Make sure you do something for you everyday.

Stick around these boards you will learn loads xx