Maintenance for a 19 year old? my ex wants money from me

Diamonds_2

shop-to-drop wrote: »

I may have misread as am sleep deprived but didn't you say he deducted from the maintenance he gave you any money he had spent on your son. I suggest you do the same for any money you give him.

Sorry sorry I understand you now!! lol.. No, he didn't actually deduct money for shoes or clothes that he bought him but he'd email me to say "I have spent £50 on him this weekend and have receipts!" when I say he would reduce the maintenance what I meant was that over the years he would tell me he was over-paying and would chip away at the amount paid. To be honest I just let it go and got on with it.. my partner is a proud person and would just say it was OK, we'll manage etc.

Diamonds_2

He just liked to let it be known that he'd spent money on him.. him being tight with his money.

I am quite willing to help my son out, I transfered money into his account a week ago as his dad had gone on holiday and my son had no food.. that's not a problem for me.. I just don't want to give that pillock anything as we're way way way poorer than him lol

System

Diamonds wrote: »

My son used to go to a college near us, so lived with us (I think his dad still paid maintenance at that stage).. when he dropped out (after a few short months) the payments stopped and my son has been tooing and froing ever since... no money has been paid either way since. We have both (my ex and myself) helped him financially off and on (when he's been out of work) etc.

So he was paying while in college and stopped when he left and started work. That's fair enough as he would no longer be entitled to any maintenance. Now he is going back to college maintenance will be due and can be claimed by the father.

I think there might also be a case for the father claiming CB. I assume that you stopped your CB claim when he left college?

Diamonds_2

Yes he's mentioned he is gong to claim for CB and yes I stopped ages ago with that..

Would the CSA take my partners income into consideration? do you know?

JimmyTheWig

Diamonds wrote: »

My son used to go to a college near us, so lived with us (I think his dad still paid maintenance at that stage).

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if his dad paid you maintenance when your son was at college and living with you, it sounds perfectly reasonable that you pay his dad maintenance when your son is at college and living with him.

Regardless of who is better off, if maintenance is due then it should be paid.
The ability to pay will determine how much is paid, not whether it should or shouldn't be paid.

shop-to-drop

I believe it just your's that's why so many fathers with second families give up work to become the house husband.

Diamonds_2

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if his dad paid you maintenance when your son was at college and living with you, it sounds perfectly reasonable that you pay his dad maintenance when your son is at college and living with him.

Regardless of who is better off, if maintenance is due then it should be paid.
The ability to pay will determine how much is paid, not whether it should or shouldn't be paid.

Oh yeah sure I understand what you're saying but I'm actually unemployed at the moment. Would the CSA expect my partner to pay?

shoe*diva79

The CSA would only take your income into consideration. If you are not earning then the assessment will be £0. You can of course give your son money if you wish.

If your ex claims Child Benefit and goes through the CSA then the assessment will still be £0 or if your claiming JSA then it will be around £7 per week.

Diamonds_2

shop-to-drop wrote: »

I believe it just your's that's why so many fathers with second families give up work to become the house husband.

Which is a bit !!!!!! really .. shouldn't they just man up and pay what they're asked to pay (legally) for THEIR children? I can't believe men stop working so they don't have to pay! how sad!

RAS

Hi

Precisely what age was your son when he started this course?

That affects his eligibility for free education.

I think your ex can claim CMS up to son's 20th birthday but not beyond?

And that would be based on your income (JSA would be £5 per week?)