Nearly 4 year old who ignores people!

Iris_255

My daughter is a selective mute too - speech therapy got involved around 18 months ago shortly after she had turned 5 (and was still in Reception class) and she has three one-to-one sessions with the special needs teaching assistant at her school. It is considered to be a social anxiety disorder and my daughter has always been this way, even the 1-2-1's at school haven't helped HOWEVER as she gets older, her confidence does increase and her non-verbal communication skills have come on no end. The one thing that really annoys me is people saying things like "don't giver her it if she doesn't ask", children like my DD will go without, completely. If she had to verbally ask for food or drink she would just not have any and she wouldn't utter a sound until she got home to me. Selective Mutism is different from shyness or stubbornness, it's very unlikely a child will just "grow out of it" and there is help and resources available so don't be afraid to ask

pinkshoes

Spendless wrote: »

Just throwing another suggestion into the mix (I know nothing about selective mutism) is it possible he's been told by someone 'you musn't talk to strangers'?

If it were just complete strangers he wouldn't talk to, that would be fine. He also does the same with people he's very familiar with!

I've actually never told him not to talk to strangers, as it's never been an issue! I would imagine his nursery would though.

He's been at nursery since he was 9 months old, mostly 3 days a week when younger.

bylromarha

My nephew never spoke to me between the ages of 3 and 7. We lived 170 miles apart, so he didn't get to feel comfortable with me and didn't speak to me.

Sister had to fight GP and school hard to get them to even recognise selective mutism as a potential diagnosis on the fact my nephew hadn't ever spoken to his teacher or a TA.

Massive anxiety issues - hated Christmas as the thought of a strange fat man creeping into the house freaked him out. Used to wake at 2am every night and sleep outside his parents door on the floor.

He ended up changing school in Year 4. Was the fresh start he needed and you'd never guess there was such a massive issue earlier on.

marisco_2

khall wrote: »

I'm sure its not a phase or normal toddler behaviour but had no idea what it actually could be. I think the worst thing is that the child I see is so very different to the child everyone else sees.

When children with Selective Mutism feel at their most anxious, it is common for them to have a blank facial expression and to rarely smile. Many have stiff or awkward body language when in a social setting and seem very uncomfortable and unhappy. Some will turn their heads, chew or twirl their hair, avoid eye contact, or withdraw into a corner or away from the group and be more interested in playing alone. Does this ring true to you about your daughter?

Chatalouge

I was like this as a child until about 6. I would not talk to anyone i did not know. Even at school i was quiet and they used to have me sit daily with a teaching asistant who would attempt to get me to interact. My mum has joked about it for years beacause now i dont shut up and was always in trouble at secondary school for talking during class

khall

marisco wrote: »

When children with Selective Mutism feel at their most anxious, it is common for them to have a blank facial expression and to rarely smile. Many have stiff or awkward body language when in a social setting and seem very uncomfortable and unhappy. Some will turn their heads, chew or twirl their hair, avoid eye contact, or withdraw into a corner or away from the group and be more interested in playing alone. Does this ring true to you about your daughter?

Absolutely. The only people she is actually 'normal' with is me, her dad and sister. She sees her grandparents every week but still takes a while to 'warm up to them'. If someone new speaks to her she literally looks vacant as if she's gone off in her own little world.

She doesn't make eye contact and angles her body away from people if that makes sense. Also if somebody visits she will usually cry to go up to her room or for her dummy (which was a real problem to get her away from). This has all been gradually getting worse for about 2 years now and I suspect it was triggered when we moved house.

She used to stay overnight at relatives houses and now gets very nervous if we just visit for a while. She has also developed the habit of calling people 'your mum' or 'her aunt' and refuses to use peoples names.