Young, free and simply stupid; MrCF takes control!

StrugglingYouth

I have literally sat and been on this rollercoaster of a diary you put together MrCF. I feel as if you are on a knife edge with the gambling. It hasnt been too drastic, but it could be. Anyway, you know this.

I would advise you make a list of what you want to achieve with your partner and the newly acquired house. The stability of those two is very important. The gambling has potential to utterly ruin both of those things for you. I hope, you take heed of these two blips and sort it before it does any irreversible damage. You need to establish why you gamble in the first place, thrill? escape? (Stopped reading perhaps?) Plans for potential winnings?
Personally I havent ever gambled aside from 2pence a hand blackjack at home with my siblings. But the one rule I always remember is the house ALWAYS wins. I watched something about William Hill a while ago and the MD's have massive houses, fancy cars and dont gamble themselves. Coincidence?


As I have been reading I jotted down thoughts of money saving ides for you so here they are:

- Buy Xbox live membership annually. Saves you minimum £32 maximum about £40.
- It makes more sense to have an emergency fund for that exact purpose, but not to have say £1000 in a 1% savings account when you debts accrue much more than that 1%.
- Once the loan 2 is paid off I would suggest you use this to overpay loan 1 as technically you wont miss the money you never had. Then again once thats done, mortgage overpayments if you cannot overpay the car loan.
- You probably spend more on 'impusle food' than you realise, take a piece of paper with you and over the month write what you buy and what it costs. Total at the end of the money to get an accurate reflection, then decide if its worth it or not.

I hope this is of some use to you.

mothernerd

You have admitted you have a problem and taken steps to fix it. Struggling youth is right, the house always wins. You yourself say that at one point you were winning and then lost it all. This is what it means to be a gambler. Gambler's are addicted to losing, when they win they carry on until all the winnings are gone.

I was married to a gambler. I only found out when I was pregnant with our third child (he was made redundant when our second son was 4 months old and went contracting 300 miles from home). Gambling destroys relationships.

You are doing all the right things, concentrate on the good things in your life. Following on from what DreamerHelen has said, it might be useful to identify any triggers that lead you to gamble - I know I eat sometimes because I am feeling sad, bored, frustrated but not hungry. Do you get an adrenaline rush and can you channel your time/ energy into sport or some other productive energy. When I was recovering from a serious accident many years ago (had the full post traumatic shock syndrome) I found it helpful to go out in the back yard and attack some manky concrete with a lump hammer.

I don't mean this to be a lecture. I think you are doing well. It's just a matter of continuing to make the right choices (stepping away from the biscuits in my case)

Upsidedown_Bear

Have you seen this thread?
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1090463

MrCrimeFiction

Gambling free day 2

Hello everyone, thanks for the kind words. Yesterday and today has been busy at work so i've not had the time that I would have liked to be on here and GA.

Dreamer Helen - Your comparison to your weight has really made me see sense. It was a great post you did and I really appreciate that.

Your exactly right about what else the money could and should have been used for. I've made up my own list similar to yours as follows:

1) If I stop gambling and I save money, I can go on a holiday to the USA and travel for a short while with OH.

2) If I stop gambling I can put more money towards becoming debt free.

3) The longer I stop gambling for, the easier it will become. MSE and GA will help me along the way.

4) The money that I save from not gambling can pay towards me getting a huge birthday and xmas present for OH. She really deserves it.

5) If I stop gambling, I can save to be a property investor and become rich :rotfl:

On my new phone, I've added a picture of NewYork as the wallpaper, so every time I look at my phone I know what I am saving for.

I've decieded to keep the loan, as its essential cash that I need for upcoming events.

I withdrew £500 in the last 2 days and have put these into my cash pots.

I now have £420 in my holiday/xmas pot and my joint fund with OH now has £350 in it. This will cover joint expenses for our holiday and xmas.

The credit card arrived but i'm still thinking what to do. Maybe I need to sit down over the weekend and evaluate things to see what my best plan is.

Thanks for your post Dreamer Helen, it was very helpful

StrugglingYouth - I really like that there are others on here who have been in a similar situation. I now think that knife edge is a bit further away after the last 2 days. I've been keeping busy, which I think is the key. I think I gamble through boredom, however the thrill of winning money is key.

Maybe I need to start filling my time with reading again or more sports.

As you have mentioned, I will cancel Xbox Live. I couldn't tell you the last time I played online so this will save me a bit everymonth.

Also, tonight I put my apple TV up for sale on ebay and I purchased a new android box instead. I should get alot more for the apple tv so I should hopefully make a profit even after the new item is paid for.

Mothernerd - You are exactly right, gambling ruins relationships. OH was partially understanding last time but I don't think she would be too understanding this time if i'm honest. I'm just glad i've put it out there on here and GA, for all to read. I'm now accountable to other people which is great for me.

I think I need to do more fitness to fill my evenings so I don't sit on the computer.

Thank you all for your advice. Please keep posting, I get automatic emails through on the phone and always read them straight away even if I dont have time to post. Seeing the emails today and yesterday kept me stronger and it has helped alot.

See you tomorrow, I will be on everyday remember

MrCrimeFiction

Upsidedown_Bear wrote: »

Have you seen this thread?
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1090463

Thanks very much for the link. I've had a quick look and it's probably just what i'm after.

Will give it a read over the next few days and over my weekend off.

Thank you, much appreciated.

I love MSE and the support. Without this I hate to think what could happen.

MrCF

Upsidedown_Bear

MrCrimeFiction wrote: »

Gambling free day 2

:T:T

Maybe you could add that to your signature?

MrCrimeFiction wrote: »

See you tomorrow, I will be on everyday remember

We'll be looking out for you :cool:

Goodnight :wave:

MrCrimeFiction

Gambling free day 3 :j

Got finished from work slightly early today. What better day to get home early. Sun in shining and Wimbledon is on. I'm actually enjoying watching the match as I have no money on it :rotfl:

Today was ok, feel pretty good actually. Although I definitely need to loose a few pounds. I've got the weekend off so i'm planning a run/cycle.

I withdrew another £300 from the bank today. I purchased lunch for £3 but no spends other than that. It's just to keep the balance of my current account down in the inevitable....

I now have £420 in my own personal xmas pot.
I have £297 in "spare cash". This is now my emergency fund.

I will do an analysis of my bank account (DD's and SO's) later tonight or tomorrow. I need to figure out what my monthly commitments are and what I will do my my excess wages.

I am due a payrise at the end of this month, as I have been with the company 5 years now. Its about an extra £600 a year, so possibly £30 a month after tax. This should take my take home wage to roughly £1900. I don't think i'll get any of it in this months wages but it should definitely be in August's wages

Over the last few days I've bought a few things off ebay for my new phone. The profits from selling the Apple TV should cover this. As its going to be my phone for the next decade, I had to buy a good case to keep it in good order and mint condition.

Away out to make a new signature and then cut the grass.

MrCF

MrCrimeFiction

Well I've done a review of my account and I now have the following payments every month.

1st - £100 - Standing order to new credit card
12th - £307.41 - Loan 1 monthly payment
15th - £154.03 - Car loan monthly payment
19th - £126.37 - Loan 2 monthly payment
29th - £98.45 - Loan 3 monthly payment

My loans and payments add up to £786.26. If I set up an over-payment to loan 2 for £113.74, this will bring my monthly debt payments to £900. If I add my contribution to the joint account (£750), its a total of £1650.

Obviously I will need to spent £100 on the credit card, if I even decide to keep it. This will be my monthly fuel and emergency purchases. Its possible what I will take away on holiday and use for online purchases. I will not be stupid with it.

All in all, it leaves me with about £250 to play with for myself. £50 of this goes into the joint pot with OH and my vodafone bill will be about £50 initially until my discount is applied. Of the £150 which is left, any spare cash will be put in my emergency fund pot.

That's the theory anyway, not too sure if it will work. I sat and sorted out all my pots today and wrote notes in each of them about how much I've saved etc. It was an extra bit of motivation seeing the figures go up.

I'm still looking to reach the £5K mark of paying debts by the end of the year. I would love to get under £10K which would be amazing.

I have over £800 still in the current account with a few bills to come out and a month to play with. If there is any left before next payday, it will go towards loan 2.

I cancelled xbox live today as well so that's more money saved.

Still not been reading but keeping busy is the key for me. If I don't think about it, I can't do it

Upsidedown_Bear

All sounding good and I like your new signature :T:T

mothernerd

The jumping smilies are good - perhaps you should emulate them? if you feel the impulse to gamble step away from the computer and do star jumps till you are out of breath (I have to get my exercise vicariously as still recovering from an operation and my body is only gradually letting me do the things I want to - have conquered stairs though).