Getting back to work with social development issues

BigAunty

I appreciate your Aspergers and the way it may limit your employment options or give reasons to bullies to pick on you.

Some of the responses to stress you describe sounds like periods of depression or anxiety (not that strangers on a forum are the best way to diagnose!). Have you ever had any kind of professional emotional support or proper diagnosis of other mental health disorders?

Have you thought about separately addressing your self-esteem/confidence issues to give you greater emotional resilience?

soupdragon10

How about starting work in a voluntary capacity to gain confidence and update your skills and experience. There are a wide range of voluntary options available if you use www.do-it.org.uk you can look at all the different areas of voluntary work available.


This can really help and is also useful for CV and if you do a good job can after a while also generally provide a reference.

Viberduo

BigAunty wrote: »

I appreciate your Aspergers and the way it may limit your employment options or give reasons to bullies to pick on you.

Some of the responses to stress you describe sounds like periods of depression or anxiety (not that strangers on a forum are the best way to diagnose!). Have you ever had any kind of professional emotional support or proper diagnosis of other mental health disorders?

Have you thought about separately addressing your self-esteem/confidence issues to give you greater emotional resilience?

Everything comes back to the disability at least in terms of to improve self esteem I need to be able to hold a good conversation or be confident.

I have been to the doctor to get antidepressants and was on them for about 2 years and they did little to nothing, then found a hormone imbalance so gave me hormones that made me feel a little better then told me my hormones were too high so first halfed dosage for a month then took me off them when it was still too high now I feel permanently tired and starving(when on hormones my appetite was mostly normal) I feel like I have a minor cold all the time and sleep worse.

I think it is part disablity, part anxiety, part hormonal and each issue needs to be addressed, I am meant to have a social worker but they were little use as in old town just asked me what they could do to help and I told them I was unsure I just needed to improve my situation and as such I had little support, I had my case transferred 2 months ago but keep getting told I am not a priority person i.e they go for people with drink and drug problems over myself, or people experiencing domestic violence etc which is fine on one hand but each time someone new has a problem it pushes me back down the queue.

I feel better in someways here as I moved from a place which was like £93 a week and was only getting £53 a week LHA(was £68 at one point but it was cut down, then they also took £10 a week off saying I was overpaid 8 years ago) and flat was falling to pieces around me and now pay £64 a week for a 2 bed place(own furniture though) which current council pays in full so I have more room to spread out, can have guests round etc but in other way I still have nothing to improve.

I was accepted into college but had a funding problem as they wanted me to stop claiming ESA and then apply for a maintenance bursary that may take a month to do and in the meantime live off my last payment and get a hardship payment of around £200 from college which in itself took about 2 weeks to get, I did see the timetable and it only had 2 9am starts a week and 2 afternoon classes so would of been fine it was just the funding issue.

soupdragon10

I would suggest that attending college at the moment might not be the best way to develop your self-confidence, as most colleges are large and to some extent impersonal, difficult for someone with Aspergers to deal with.


Do you have a definite career path in mind? will the proposed course enable you to gain better qualifications in this field? Would you be better using your time at present to undertake other activities such as voluntary work, community education etc. to gain confidence before committing yourself to full time study.


You have had a fair number of hard knocks over the years, it would be a shame to set yourself up for further disappointment.

aggypanthus

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm sorry you didn't find my comment helpful but perhaps you don't realise that helping children with Aspergers to modify their behaviour is a really important part of the treatment of this condition?

ok , you wernt making your meaning clear to that effect.

It interesting though, as my friend didnt say thanks, or yes please, and after lots of gentle teasing and reminders, he began to adapt his resonses.

also he didnt have the social sense to ie sense clues as to when it was timefor him to go home.. We had to tell him when it was time to go home from ours.lol
Again, we have got him clued up now lol

BigAunty

What do you think about self employment? Do you think you are capable of identifying an opportunity and might enjoy this type of work or is there anything that puts you off it?

Such as the solo nature of some of the work, worries about the extra responsibilities that come with self employment, nervous about how changeable your income could be?

totalfailiure

I missed the part about BO and sweating, but here's a few tips. Shower and wash properly (duh), but don't forget that, otherwise it'll mess up your whole day and it causes more anxiety and more problems.

Wear clean clothes that have been washed properly. For years I went out in stuff my mother washed and she used washing up liquid on them because we were poor and they were really foisty. It was an embarrasment and nothing will cover the smell. It's a world of difference when you use the proper stuff.

Shave your armpits. It's my belief that if you do that, you'll be able to apply antiperspirant better to your skin. And I would recommend antiperspirant/deodorant sticks to sprays because I think they apply better. (Plus, a lot of women secretly hate Lynx) Even I think it's too strong now and that's all I used to use. Rub the sticks on your armpits and on your back and even your front if you sweat there. Try Mitchum or Dove Mencare for something clean.

Viberduo

totalfailiure wrote: »

I missed the part about BO and sweating, but here's a few tips. Shower and wash properly (duh), but don't forget that, otherwise it'll mess up your whole day and it causes more anxiety and more problems.

Wear clean clothes that have been washed properly. For years I went out in stuff my mother washed and she used washing up liquid on them because we were poor and they were really foisty. It was an embarrasment and nothing will cover the smell. It's a world of difference when you use the proper stuff.

Shave your armpits. It's my belief that if you do that, you'll be able to apply antiperspirant better to your skin. And I would recommend antiperspirant/deodorant sticks to sprays because I think they apply better. (Plus, a lot of women secretly hate Lynx) Even I think it's too strong now and that's all I used to use. Rub the sticks on your armpits and on your back and even your front if you sweat there. Try Mitchum or Dove Mencare for something clean.

I shower at least 30 minutes a day and I change underwear every day and wear clean t shirts and jeans etc, I have only ever used washing up liquid when I have no powder available i,e when I move house or I run out and skint, and I use pount shop stuf that smells better than lynx lol, used to use Ben Shermans stuff but not seen it for years, I hate gels/roll ons though as when I get clammy it makes them sticky.

I have never known how to get clothes to still smell of washing powder hours later as the smell fades almost instantly with mine.

Thanks for all the interesting advice so far, as for self employment I dont think that would work due to that way I have no goals and I would probably mess up anything as I am good at pc building and maintenance but its all self taught so have a lot of gaps in knowledge.

missbiggles1

Viberduo wrote: »

I shower at least 30 minutes a day and I change underwear every day and wear clean t shirts and jeans etc, I have only ever used washing up liquid when I have no powder available i,e when I move house or I run out and skint, and I use pount shop stuf that smells better than lynx lol, used to use Ben Shermans stuff but not seen it for years, I hate gels/roll ons though as when I get clammy it makes them sticky.

I have never known how to get clothes to still smell of washing powder hours later as the smell fades almost instantly with mine.

Thanks for all the interesting advice so far, as for self employment I dont think that would work due to that way I have no goals and I would probably mess up anything as I am good at pc building and maintenance but its all self taught so have a lot of gaps in knowledge.

Surely your goal is to become independent and live without needing benefits?

Viberduo

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Surely your goal is to become independent and live without needing benefits?

If by independence you mean earning my own money then yes I want that but I meant in terms of climbing a career ladder, I just want enough for e comfortable life with little stress as possible i.e whats the point of a high wage if I have no time for spending the money or little time with a family but I do not want to be struggling either however I am fine with a caravan holiday, a cheap cafe rather than expensive meal, ice cream at beach rather than a drink at a bar etc.

I originally went to university to study media and journalism because hard as it may seem from my writing here, when writing stories or articles I am excellent as had work printed when I was a teenager in local paper and did unpaid work in a radio station and my news stories were used but of course someone else got the credit and the payment for it.