Dilema

nearlyrich

So where does he stay when he is not with his Ex looking after the child?


Can the child's mother not get standard childcare like other people do or could he look after the child at his usual home?


Seems like he has not really moved out how many nights does he stay in a week?

MoralDilema

He lives with his parents and refuses to take his child there as he doesnt want his other kids finding out about him.

She needs out of hours childcare due to working weekends. It;s usually only 1 night a week too but recently has been 'popping round' as he doesn't trust her and makes the point of it but while there does absolutely nothing and still expects her to do everything.

It's a lot more complicated than i think i can explain.

Mojisola

Has she been in touch with https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

MoralDilema

i have mentioned it but she won't as too scared that SS might come round and that as her ex is a copper he keeps fobbing it off that noone will believe her.

I've tried to help as much as I can and without going round and dragging him out the house i'm at a loose end. I now feel bad for phoning the number earlier.

dandelionclock30

Its upto her to do something about it. Give her all the phone numbers of womens aid, domestic abuse unit etc and say that you will support he rwhen calling etc.
I honestly cant see the Police doing much unless she makes a complaint herself.

Stephb1986_2

I think you did the right thing but you did say he's an ex copper? So unless a "friend" in the force told him he would be non the wiser to your phone call today.

You did what you thought was right there is nothing wrong with that.

jobbingmusician

I don't know as much as I should about domestic violence (because that is what this is) but if you google 'domestic violence [insert name of town here]' you might find out more about what happens when people report DV in your area.

MoralDilema

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

Its upto her to do something about it. Give her all the phone numbers of womens aid, domestic abuse unit etc and say that you will support he rwhen calling etc.
I honestly cant see the Police doing much unless she makes a complaint herself.

I'm going to give her the number and hope she calls but i can't make her. will make me no better than her ex if i demand she does.
I called the 101 number , i think they will at least investigate

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I think you did the right thing but you did say he's an ex copper? So unless a "friend" in the force told him he would be non the wiser to your phone call today.

You did what you thought was right there is nothing wrong with that.

he's still a copper, just her ex.

sparrer

Her job is the last thing she needs to be worrying about now. There's financial help out there is she can't work for a while, she'd also be entitled to legal aid and needs a solicitor. She can take an injunction out to stop the ex going near her and contact the police every time he threatens her - it's psychological abuse and that's an offence. He may be in the police force but he's twisting the law to frighten her into giving in to him.
He's a waste of space, a nasty character and a bully. She needs to understand that the law is on her side, she has rights as a human being.
She's scared of the unknown, which is the future, we all are to a degree. What the future is, is an amazing release, happiness, peace of mind, if she'll just take the first step. She has a good friend in you, I wish every woman who is suffering as she is had one. Thank you for standing by her, be gentle, be patient, but be determined and don't walk away.

MoralDilema

Last thing i'll do is walk away, i'll have to be pushed first.

Really need to show her these comments as it's what i've been saying and sparrar, you're right , she is scared of the unknown.

Glad i made the call this morning now. Thank you all