Noise from neighbour - whether to complain to council

movinghelp

Thanks for the replies. Patman I have done some reading and have also asked my family for advice as two of them work with children with these kind of issues. I know it's not necessarily her fault and the advice of not shouting is good bbut really that's something for the mother not me. I would never shout at her or bang on the wall but the mother at the moment is clearly not handling it very well ie. She loses her temper and shouts and swears back. Often when the daughter is winding down the mother says something a bit goading that sets her off again.

Not judging just trying to give a fuller picture There was no noise this morning so going to hold off on making the call for now.

motherbored21

As I said in my original reply, ask the Mother what she wants. She may not have wanted to move. She may have wanted somewhere where her child could let of tension. She may be worried that the OP and others are angry with the noise, but can't do anything to help her child to cope.

If I were the Mother, I would appreciate a friendly word and work together to sort it out to everyone's satisfaction.

Yes, I am a parent of an ASD child.

seven-day-weekend

If the girl genuinely has AS, then perhaps the move has frightened her and she may be OK after a couple of weeks.

I agree that the OP should not have to live with it. If the girl is always like that, then the housing is obviously unsuitable for her.

So, my advice is to leave it a couple of weeks, but monitoring, and then if she calms down, fine, and if not you have some evidence to show the Council.

System

It sounds like the mother needs some training on how to handle the daughter.
Im not sure how without her actually requesting it from the mental health team this will happen.

movinghelp

Well like clockwork it was the same again this morning 5.40 until I left for work at 8.15. Agreed, the things they say to each other are pretty upsetting. Mum told daughter I hate you several times. Daughter called her a fat !!!!! and told her she would !!!! her up etc etc. What are the chances the council will move them. We're in north London so not an abundance of suitable housing.

Angelicdevil

Sounds like the mother needs some support in dealing with her daughter, ASD or not.

Lord_Baltimore

CHRISSYG wrote: »

Doing as the nutjob above suggests will only inflame the situation and prolong the shouting session.

The only thing funnier than being referred to as a 'nutjob' is the fact that satire is lost on simpletons.

Yes, I know autism/bipolar/OCD and all those things are not nice. Everyone has a cross to bear. However, it is entirely unacceptable to expect others to tolerate these trials along with the poor, hapless parents.

Most people want a quiet life because they work hard; they're entitled to enjoy down time in their own home without being subjected to early morning, late evening or, for that matter, anytime chaos from neighbours no matter what the reason is. Geddit?

I note that the OP has had yet another 3 hour session today. What impact do you think that is having on the OP's health? There are 2 sides to this story and the OP isn't her neighbour's nurse or social worker.

Davesnave wrote: »

A few posters seem to look for a big reaction.

Quoting them and calling them 'nutjobs' just gives them what they want, and much more credence than they deserve.

You seem to have followed sheep-like with CHRISSYG's immature assessment and treated us to some pseudo-psychiatry of your own. I had thought better of you judging by the quality of your other postings.

Loosen up eh folks?

movinghelp

My OH bumped into the neighbours on the other side this morning and they said the noise for them was terrible as well but they had been too scared to go around and knock. It's really affected me at work today (the lack of sleep) and I'm just feeling really anxious about being at home at all. Have a big presentation at work tomorrow and desperately don't want to be up at 5 again. My earplugs just aren't blocking it out well enough I can go back to sleep.

Lord_Baltimore

Many of the do-goody-gooders in this thread have overlooked your plight and focussed on "the poor little thing is on the spectrum" aspect but I empathise. You need get this situation dealt with or it will (further) shred your nerves.

Log the events; record them if possible and get the Council/MP/Social Services on the case now. Why should you wait to see if things improve? The neighbours' condition is not your fault but it is impacting on your way of life. It is not uncaring or harsh to expect a resolution from those who are paid to manage these types of circumstances.

You work, you pay tax and you are therefore directly helping this person to manage their condition with professional help. Sacrificing your peace of mind as well is a gift too far imho.

Davesnave

Lord_Baltimore wrote: »

Log the events; record them if possible and get the Council/MP/Social Services on the case now. Why should you wait to see if things improve? The neighbours' condition is not your fault but it is impacting on your way of life. It is not uncaring or harsh to expect a resolution from those who are paid to manage these types of circumstances.

You work, you pay tax and you are therefore directly helping this person to manage their condition with professional help.

This looks to be what, collectively, a number of us have said already. It bears repetition. There are no smart answers or quick fixes

Thank you for the precis.