Brother Wont get a JOB!

Pschool1

I'm sorry im just ranting here as talking to this idiot seems like im talking to a brick wall
ive just finished having an argument with him 5 minutes ago...and this is the only place i felt i could blow of some steam!

my brother is 19 years old..he received his a level results and as usual for second time around he has come back with d's and u's in maths and another related subject. (he is extremely bright by the way, he got mostly a's for his gcses!)

We told him a year ago that he needed to get a part time job to help out with the household , but his response was that he wants to concentrate on his studies..so we let his excuse slide.
Halfway through the year his tutors informed my mum that he is doing badly and is likely to fail the year...which has now happened.

He has the cheek to say that he wants to retake and do his a2 and then go on to uni..i feel that these are big excuses for him not to work! he doesnt even study at home..and if he does..he had his computer games on in front of him!
It pi**** me of so much!
I dont understand how anyone can be so lazy...ive been working since i was 16, i also worked right through college and uni!.

I told him to look into apprenticeships for the type of qualifications he wants to get at uni, my old sister who is an accountant even managed to set him up with work experience @ aviva when his was 16 and he was given £200 for his weeks there! something which is quite unheard of!
since then she also told him to apply again for a chance at working for a years paid experience at her new work place..but he never bothered with it!!( i mean just how dumb can you be!????)

Its getting to the point that i despise living at home and seeing his face because i feel that financially im paying for his extremely lazy backside.
I desperately want to move out, im even past caring about how my mum would cope without me here to help. i wish she would kick him out!.

the only reason ive have stayed this long is because im trying my best to save up for a mortgage...now im just thinking i dont know if i even care enough, and am contemplating using my savings to rent somewhere; its the principle that he is so deliberately lazy..and i hate the fact im the person that is keeping a roof over his head.

Im even angry with my mum for allowing him to stay..he is nothing but disrespectful & a little know it all..when he knows nothing about life at all!

Ughhhh im so angry and annoyed, is anyone else in this situation or has experienced it?
how did things turn out?
words of advice?

thanks for listening !

:eek::eek::eek::mad::eek::(:(

Retrogamer

He should be told he's an adult now and he can study still if he wants, but if he's staying in the house he has to contribute in regards to doing chores around it and contribute by paying some digs for his keeps as well.

How he gets money to pay for things is his problem. He's an adult now and needs to start acting and being treated like one.

Johnnytwostep

this is the trouble with society today, cant be bothered getting a job and would rather sponge off others. Get him kicked out.
and as for going to university, he will probably end up at some lame poly with the other thickos doing media studies or some other lame course with no prospects of a real job.

whitewing

Sounds like you are ready to move out, as in it would be a good idea.

Bright kids can underestimate the amount of work required to succeed in A levels, especially in everyone thinks they breezed through GCSEs without effort. I bet it has knocked his confidence very badly and you are not helping one jot.

I think your brother needs a bit of space to consider what direction he needs to take. Maybe a different college will suit his personality better, or a year out. Sounds to me that everyone in the family gets involved with his failures so that can't be easy for him.

I don't mean that he shouldn't get a job, but he may well still be in shock, especially if his friends are all going on to the next stage.

I feel sorry for him.

BJV

Do not think that this is what you will want to hear. But! If it was me I would grin and bear it. You are saving for a mortgage so don't let lazy going nowhere brother mess it up for you.


It will take you much longer if you have to save and rent at the same time.


It is also not just your brother the are hundreds and thousands of people like him in the Uk today. He can not be bothered or its too difficult. Life is difficult and there is no substitute for hard work, if that is education or job it is still hard work.


The only recompense I can offer is that 10 years from now while you are sitting in your own home, fingers crossed happy and healthy he will be where? With his current work ethics and unless he changes certainly not in a home he owns , certainly not with the opportunities you have.


It is hard for your mum, he is her son so please do not be so hard on her, I have two children and would hate to be in her situation.

Charityworker

People with media studies degrees go on to get jobs in the film, TV and media industry which is one of the highest paid industries there is.

So wanting to go to uni is being lazy now? If he succeeds I. Getting a degree he will be able to earn a lot more than you are while your still struggling along with your job trying hard to make ends meet paying your mortgage off. Just a thought!

kelpie35

I think you sound a very hard working person and take your responsibilities seriously.

I can fully understand your anger and frustrations with your brother and also your mother.

If it is causing you so much stress it might be the best thing for you to have your own place.

You might not be much worse off by doing that if you are having to subsidise your brother by living at home.

I wish you all the best for the future.

lulu_92

Charityworker wrote: »

People with media studies degrees go on to get jobs in the film, TV and media industry which is one of the highest paid industries there is.

So wanting to go to uni is being lazy now? If he succeeds I. Getting a degree he will be able to earn a lot more than you are while your still struggling along with your job trying hard to make ends meet paying your mortgage off. Just a thought!

I did media as one half of my joint honours degree (the other half is drama...I'll await the feedback :rotfl:) and although I didn't walk into a job I still managed to get one in my field in less than a year.

It's not the degree, it's how you use it!

Johnnytwostep

Charityworker wrote: »

People with media studies degrees go on to get jobs in the film, TV and media industry which is one of the highest paid industries there is.

So wanting to go to uni is being lazy now? If he succeeds I. Getting a degree he will be able to earn a lot more than you are while your still struggling along with your job trying hard to make ends meet paying your mortgage off. Just a thought!

some of them maybe, but the majority with a degree in media studies from dumbo college will end up working in places where all you need is to know if the customer wants fries with that.

dandelionclock30

Johnnytwostep wrote: »

this is the trouble with society today, cant be bothered getting a job and would rather sponge off others. Get him kicked out.
and as for going to university, he will probably end up at some lame poly with the other thickos doing media studies or some other lame course with no prospects of a real job.

LOL, Polys dont exist anymore and havent done for about 20 years. Its good to tell that those in the world of work are keeping upto date with developments.

letthemeatcake

He might find 2nd time around a bit easier. Give him another chance and support him in that decision.