Family and becoming an ex-pat

Dysnomia

I spent two years teaching English as a second language in Japan and loved every minute - just don't make the mistake of holing yourself up at home and get out there and do things! I also go to Seoul for work every couple of months and I love it there, feel very safe etc etc.


Is it possible that your Dad is confusing South Korea with North Korea? My parents weren't that happy when I spent a week in Pyongyang a few years ago, but Seoul was no problem!


Dys.

PlymouthMaid

Congratulations. I hope you have an amazing adventure. I dont know if you are aware of the TES website but if not they have a 'teaching overseas' forum which you may find useful.

meer53

Congratulations !

I'm in my 50's, i have 2 children, a son who is 27 and a daughter who is 14. I'm guessing you're somewhere between these two !

If either of my children came and said they had managed to get a job like this, i'd be over the moon for them. What a life experience, i'd be very jealous, but very happy for them too.

Don't let your parents attitude get to you, they sound very selfish.

top_drawer_2

HPoirot wrote: »

Lol ok, then Make-it-3 has summed it quite well, your folks just don't 'get' why you're doing it!

ETA dreams and ambitions often have very different meanings for different generations, I wouldn't let their attitude get you down.

As for your mum :eek: is she thinking about what she can 'inherit' and not about this new chapter in your life!!!!

That has occurred to me. I'm really not a materialistic sort of person and it was not important to me in the way that some posters have interpreted it. Knowing she has commented on how lovely this rug is and even going as far to say it would look nice with their bedroom curtains, I would have offered it to her before I left. However, now I really don't want to give her anything if I'm honest but its how to go about it without burning too many bridges. This is not the first time a similar thing has happened and when I've given her the item she has outright asked for (last time it was a dress which I was wearing it at the time), she has been very ungrateful about it and she actually wears it to doss around the house. However, I'm trying my best to keep things sweet not particularly for her benefit but for my sister who has down's syndrome. Keeping contact with her is key for me so suggestions on how to handle the situation would be much appreciated.


I wish I could say they seemed worried but they don't .... just very unbothered. I should have been flying this afternoon to arrive for the 18th but still no VISA, my Dad doesn't actually know this so I'm assuming one of the family is telling him I've not actually gone anywhere. Otherwise, he doesn't know and hasn't been bothered to contact me.

My Mother is aware I won't be here for Christmas, my birthday or in fact anything for around a year. I didn't specifically mention it but she has caught onto that and again totally not bothered and certainly no concern about how I might deal with it. I have never spent a Christmas away from my family so it will be quite difficult.

Dysnomia - lol no I've been very clear on where I'm going and they understand enough to know North Korea is out of bounds. I didn't actually know that one could visit Pyongyang, capital city of North Korea. I thought it was closed to the western world.

Meer - I'm 31 and yes this is a life experience I've hoped for and talked a lot about for a long time. I worked bloody hard (doing 50 hour weeks in a residential care home) to clear debts / overdraft and then to save to pay fees all in a job I dislike. Then averaged 40 hours a week throughout my 14 week CELTA course, including the teaching placement and then did it all again this past year to save up money for start-up costs. Its been hard and I just can't fathom how they can be so ... unbothered ... knowing all of this.

Thank you everyone though for showing a little bit of excitement for me, and all the advice too. I've been a long time member on this forum and its seen me through some tough times, both in terms of money and life issues.

January20

Congratulations on the job!

I think it will do you a lot of good to be so far away from your family for a year.

Gigglepig

Congratulations OP Sounds like an adventure.

They don't sound supportive, have they explained why? Giving them the benefit of doubt, one thing that could possibly explain the lack of enthusiasm would be if there is a history of starting project after project which then fall through. Another could be if they needed help with the disabled sibling.

It seems a bit odd to me that a 31yo would expect their mum to be concerned about how they will deal with spending their birthday away from them. It would not cross my mind. On the other hand, I would be thinking about how my parents would cope with the sibling with down's syndrome, and how christmas etc would be for that sibling.

I would also gladly give my mother my rug or clothes that I could not bring - especially a parent that has been kind enough to let me live at home despite being an adult. Sounds a little bit petty and ungrateful to me - these sort of feelings won't make anyone happy.

fromdusktilldawn

My 22 year old daughter is in Seoul, South Korea right now. She has been there since February studying a Masters degree split between Cardiff and Korea. My advice is go, dont think too much about it - you may never get another chance !
I visited her in April for 3 weeks and it is a fantastic place and very safe on a day to day basis. The subway is safe but watch out for mopeds on the pavements ! They drive wherever they like.
There are plenty of ex-pats in Seoul and lots of places to connect/meet. Get online and search via Eat Your Kimchi, Seoulistic and any other groups that you can find.
Food is great (if you like Kimchi and spicy food). The hairy bikers did a far east visit including Japan and South Korea. There is so much to see and the Koreans are a sensitive and generous race.
Any other questions, feel free to ask me.
Liz:):):)

boo2410

What a fantastic opportunity, life's too short to miss out on an experience like this. Bug*** what anybody else says. Don't forget to log on and let us know how you get on.

catkins

Congrats on the job. I am sure you will have a wonderful time.


As to your parents, well just let them get on with it. Some people are just never happy for others even their own family. Me and OH lived abroad for a few years and whilst my parents were sad to see us move they were happy for us too. OH's parents on the other hand were nasty saying we were stupid, we would regret it etc. When they came to see us (uninvited!) all they did was criticise everything from our house, the area to the neighbours!

whitewing

I know plenty of people who have taught English abroad, including someone who met his wife while doing so.

You sound like you have outgrown your parents' view of you and it is time for some distance so they can appreciate the new, well-travelled you. All the very best - it's brilliant to reach out and grab life like you are doing.