Dating Website - Next Steps

pollyanna24

I've been chatting to a few guys over a dating website, but now one has asked for my mobile number. Which is understandable, it's kind of the next step.

But now I'm going all cold and scared about the thought of speaking to him. I'm not good on the phone generally unless it's someone I really know and think he'll think I'm bit strange or aloof. I actually think I would rather meet someone face to face rather than speak to them on the telephone, isn't that strange?!

So, how do I get over this? I don't want to not talk to him, as otherwise what was the point of me going on the site if I just want to stay messaging people, but at the same time, if I'm scared of talking to someone, what's the point on being on the site cos it's all supposed to be fun, isn't it?

Fluff15

I recently started speaking to somebody through work, and when we exchanged numbers I felt exactly the same - cold and weirded out.

I eventually pushed through and we had a really good (brilliant, actually) first date, which I was still feeling off about until the point of meeting. I think that's all you can do really, suck it up until the first meeting and go from there.

I think it's because I'm lazy when it comes to texting/messaging. I'd rather speak over the phone or face to face, my friends and family don't bother texting anymore.

newcook

a friend of mine had a PAYG mobile purely for dating sites - that way if they didnt like them they could easily block them without having the hassle that should the guy get weird and call from different numbers that she wouldnt have to change her number that her friends and family have!
thankfully, she never had to block anyone but the safety net of a different phone for dating purposes made her feel a little more at ease!

Tropez

It's not that strange. Telephone conversations can be quite difficult for some people but it is something you'll probably have to get over in time. Just take it slow until you feel comfortable with this guy. You don't say how many messages you've exchanged.

Perhaps you could start slowly by talking over instant message?

Browntoa

or voice chat over skype which means no exchanging of mobile number until you are sure

pollyanna24

newcook wrote: »

a friend of mine had a PAYG mobile purely for dating sites - that way if they didnt like them they could easily block them without having the hassle that should the guy get weird and call from different numbers that she wouldnt have to change her number that her friends and family have!
thankfully, she never had to block anyone but the safety net of a different phone for dating purposes made her feel a little more at ease!

What a brilliant idea. Never would have thought of that!

Where can I get a cheap PAYG phone from then? And how cheap are they really?

DUTR

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I've been chatting to a few guys over a dating website, but now one has asked for my mobile number. Which is understandable, it's kind of the next step.

But now I'm going all cold and scared about the thought of speaking to him. I'm not good on the phone generally unless it's someone I really know and think he'll think I'm bit strange or aloof. I actually think I would rather meet someone face to face rather than speak to them on the telephone, isn't that strange?!

So, how do I get over this? I don't want to not talk to him, as otherwise what was the point of me going on the site if I just want to stay messaging people, but at the same time, if I'm scared of talking to someone, what's the point on being on the site cos it's all supposed to be fun, isn't it?

To meet them though, there comes a time when numbers are exchanged, it is difficult, as too soon doesn't seem right and too long messaging backwards and forwards, can get tiring too.

Tropez

pollyanna24 wrote: »

What a brilliant idea. Never would have thought of that!

Where can I get a cheap PAYG phone from then? And how cheap are they really?

Tesco sell PAYG phones starting at £9.

pollyanna24

Tropez wrote: »

It's not that strange. Telephone conversations can be quite difficult for some people but it is something you'll probably have to get over in time. Just take it slow until you feel comfortable with this guy. You don't say how many messages you've exchanged.

Perhaps you could start slowly by talking over instant message?

There have been quite a few messages back and forth over the last few days (I only joined this website on Monday). But they were nice messages, nothing seedy (sorry, I'm new to the whole dating website thing and as soon as anyone starts mentioning meeting up right away or asking "if I like cuddles" when we only been messaging for half an hour, I just don't message them back!)

Instant message? That's just the same as messaging someone isn't it? Or am I missing something?

newcook

pollyanna24 wrote: »

What a brilliant idea. Never would have thought of that!

Where can I get a cheap PAYG phone from then? And how cheap are they really?

Ive got a feeling she found an old phone in one of her drawers and just bought a PAYG sim card – but I think you can pick up a cheap phone from tesco or asda for about £10

Robinette

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I actually think I would rather meet someone face to face rather than speak to them on the telephone, isn't that strange?!

I'm exactly the same....I must be strange too!

There is no right or wrong way to arrange a date, so do whatever feels right for you and don't be persuaded to exchange numbers with someone if you don't feel comfortable.