How to motivate a DIY/Housework allergic husband?

PenguinOfDeath

Stevie_Palimo wrote: »

I think the best to motivate him here will be to put on your sexiest underwear / Maids out fit and then get him all worked up but state no fun until the job is done

OT yes, but whoever decided a cleaner's outfit is sexy?!

lemontart

Made me think of what my mother said to my sister when she said she and hubby were splitting up - she will have no one to do diy................and mother was/is so pleased I have finally got together with my o/h as he is very practical in that dept ................! Probably because my late father was good at diy to point he laid carpets, painted ceilings and more for me when I bought my first home, just as my other half does for my own daughter who;s own father is useless .

Mojisola

lemontart wrote: »

Made me think of what my mother said to my sister when she said she and hubby were splitting up - she will have no one to do diy................and mother was/is so pleased I have finally got together with my o/h as he is very practical in that dept ................! Probably because my late father was good at diy to point he laid carpets, painted ceilings and more for me when I bought my first home, just as my other half does for my own daughter who;s own father is useless .

It's a shame that he didn't show you how to do all these things.

As we were growing up, our parents made sure all of us (boys and girls) could cook and do housework, DIY, basic car maintenance, etc.

TBagpuss

have you tried sitting down with your husband to discuss his (not just the office/ bunk beds, but more generally)?

It sounds as though you are massively frustrated and feel he isn't pulling his weight, and he is 'dealing' with it by putting his fingers in his ears nad hoping it will go away.

I agree wit hthe PP who said that doing overtime to pay someone else to do handyman jobs is a very practical and reasonable solution - if neither of you are good at those things, and don't enjoy them, it makes perfect sense.

However, the housework and other jobs should be shared fairly (possibly not equally, depending how much each of you works outside the house). It may be that you need to talk to him about how frustrating you find it that he dose so little, and that he does not do anything without having to be reminded and 'chased'

Ask *him* how he suggests you deal with this - it's possible that he feels he is being nagged and would prefer to have a deadline agreed to do something and then do it in his own time.

I think the problem with tryn to come up with an incentive is that it still means that you are responsible for sorting it out - except nw you have to try to sort out a suitable bride, whihc, quite apart from anythign else, implies that he is doing a favour rather than simply pulling his weight and doing his fair share.

You might find it useful to think of some alternatives and ask him if he has a preference (e.g. - agree a day when you can help him do the job, agree a day when you will do something else to leave him to get on with it, agree a set deadline and leave it to him to sort it out, dump it all in the cellar and let him sort it out as and when he needs to find something, leave it all, and let him explain to your family that they will not, after all, be able to visit) invite him to suggest any additional option s and then to agree one hat you can both live with.

Crinkmeister

Stevie_Palimo wrote: »

I think the best to motivate him here will be to put on your sexiest underwear / Maids out fit and then get him all worked up but state no fun until the job is done, Room cleaned and you are both left smiling afterwards.

Or if that doesn't work, tell him HE can wear the maids outfit if he does the job!

schwam66

usignuolo wrote: »

. He needs to be offered some kind of incentive to make the drudgery of this (and other household related tasks), sufficiently rewarding to want to get on with it.

simple..tell him to sort the sh*t or no more sex.....i bet he shoots upstairs and sort that stuff right quick....all the best and goodluck