Dumped - feeling rubbish

SadGirl1_2

Hi everyone,

I’m feeling really sorry for myself, and I could do with some kind/wise words from you lovely lot!

I recently started a new job, and within the first few weeks I became involved with a guy in the office. It was all very casual; we met up a few times with colleagues, and got on really well. He made it obvious that he was interested, and so we went on a few dates and met up a couple of times a week for about a month.

I thought things were going quite well, and he kept inviting me out etc… and then suddenly, last week, I just didn’t hear anything for a few days. By Monday, back at work, I got the feeling he was being off with me. I asked if everything was ok, but he said he just said he was really busy. I know it sounds silly, but I knew then that he wasn’t interested anymore, and was just avoiding telling me. And it seems I was right!

I’ve since found out that he’s done this sort of thing before. He moves on quite quickly, but doesn’t actually tell the girl he’s been involved with – he’ll just avoid the subject and make excuses. It’s obvious that he’s not worth worrying about, but for some reason I just can’t get it out of my head. I think if he’d been straight with me, and told me why he was ending it, I’d have been fine, but because I have no idea why he went off me I’m imagining all sorts of terrible things! Despite the fact that I now know he treats girls really badly, I can’t help taking it really personally, and it’s really knocked my confidence. I just feel so sad.

I can’t believe that someone can be so careless with other people’s feelings, so it feels like there must be something really wrong with me. And I’m annoyed with myself for even caring!

Thanks for reading x

asea

don't worry about it! the best revenge is success! some people are just knobs, there's no point in kicking yourself about it.

I'm surprised that this is his modus operandi though, the company are opening themselves up for a huge potential disaster

you could also spread rumours about how small his willy is, that might make you feel better

mrcow

SadGirl1 wrote: »

I can’t believe that someone can be so careless with other people’s feelings,

Unfortunately he's not alone.

SadGirl1 wrote: »

so it feels like there must be something really wrong with me.

I doubt it, he just sounds like a right plank

SadGirl1 wrote: »

And I’m annoyed with myself for even caring!

And so you should be, he sounds like a complete waste of space. Don't be wasting any more emotions on him, men like that are a dime a dozen.

In three years time, he'll still be doing exactly the same thing. Even if he did want you back, you'd be a fool to trust someone like that with something as precious as your heart.

Take care and chin up.

katiekittykat

Hi welcome

Please don't feel bad - this guy sounds like a complete tool and you are better off without him - you are too good for him

He will get what's coming to him - people like that always do....

Keep smiling

belfastgirl23

emm.. surely he didn't go off you, he just followed his usual pattern of behaviour. It's nothing to do with you at all really, it's just who he is. The very worst thing you can do is take it personally, it's about him not about you at all.

He sounds like a bit of a saddo to me and you're best off having found this out sooner rather than later.

Curious_George_2

ahhh... screw him

just think of it as using him for practise for the right bloke... who should be along any moment now

all you have to do is feel sorry for the next new girl to your office (and hope she has a scortching case of crabs to pass on)

Emma37

There's nothing wrong with you, so don't blame yourself. He may be afraid of commitment, and that's why he acts that way. He's bound to carry on with the same pattern of behaviour. It's not surprising that it's knocked your confidence and made you feel low.

Make an extra special effort to look great when you go into work. That will help you to feel better and start building up your confidence again.

asea

perhaps you should think about warning any new starters at your company by the way

Errata

Don't take it personally, it wasn't personal - it's what he does. And don't give him, or anyone else, the satisfaction of seeing you being miserable.

melg1973

got the t-shirt.....being ignored/avoided is extremely frustrating - just tell us we're dumped then we know!

When I was between husbands :rotfl: I dated quite a lot of men and this happened a lot. In fact I got to the point I was expecting it to happen - when I met my new hubbie I even said to him, 'If you go off me you will tell me won't you' !!! Luckily he didn't!

I like to think what goes around comes around (and treat people how you expect to be treated yourself) and whenever I started seeing someone and it was me who didn't want it to continue I made it crystal clear, not insensitive but none of this 'its not you its me' or 'I'm not ready for a girlfriend/boyfriend yet' (then why ask me out?).

Don't miss those days at all! Good luck with finding a good 'un.

Mel x

ryansace

Did you know if you take a plastic cup from the water cooler and place it tight over your mouth, you can't breath?

Thats what i found out when i lost my gf, jus dont try and hold your nose while doing it.

More interestingly, where do you work? Is it london area?