Adult daughter with chronic depression - how to help?

Anatidaephobia

snowleopard61 wrote: »

I also meant to say, she is considering dropping to part-time hours in order to do some sort of part-time study or training, which may possibly work out very well.

That might be a good idea. I work approx 25-30 hours a week and I find it massively beneficial to my mental health. My life doesn't revolve around work; and the extra free time I'm saving from not working 37-40 hours means that I'm able to make more adjustments when I need to (ie, when I'm feeling a bit down and need more sleep, I've got the time and flexibility to do so). It gives me a better quality of life and has made a huge difference to my stress levels.

System

Anatidaephobia wrote: »

That might be a good idea. I work approx 25-30 hours a week and I find it massively beneficial to my mental health. My life doesn't revolve around work; and the extra free time I'm saving from not working 37-40 hours means that I'm able to make more adjustments when I need to (ie, when I'm feeling a bit down and need more sleep, I've got the time and flexibility to do so). It gives me a better quality of life and has made a huge difference to my stress levels.

i have to agree

i have bipolar and current work 20-25 hours a week and feel i am better able to cope with this, i generally work late shift as my medication (mainly the olanzapine) makes me very drowsy in the morning especially.

in regards to weight gain, i know it can be a problem but personally i find walking (and occasionally running, i did race for life this year! helps, i also do zumba classes when i can

i thin personally you come across as a very supportive parent, and your daughter is lucky to have you my parents, i know, find it very difficult to deal with my mental health and what you are already doing would personally helped a great deal when i myself was younger.

don't be afraid to seek additional help from charities such as mind or rethink as they may go a great way in helping you and your daughter

snowleopard61

toniq wrote: »

Op my child sounds so similar to yours, mine is on a few meds, the olanzipine makes her weight balloon which upsets mine greatly, I hope you find a way through as we are struggling with a girl that often wants to die and has attempted it whilst at uni. Cbt starts soon for our girl as well as constant her constant psych appts. I really wish you well as this is such a hard road to travel watching your child suffer and not being able to help..

Thank you so much and this all sounds painfully familiar. I do hope things get better for your daughter too.

Thanks again everyone for all the encouragement, advice and support.

Lara44

I don't have experience of MH issues, but found it helpful in my early twenties to take time to really get to know what I enjoyed doing - rather than what I (or others) thought I 'should' be doing. Often what you really enjoy and value is not at all obvious, and takes some thought and experimentation.

Maybe your daughter would better enjoy learning outside of a formal and examined structure? I loved taking local adult education courses as there was no pressure to achieve. In our area at least there are a huge range of courses. Instead of expecting too much of myself I simply congratulated myself on turning up - which can be a way of learning the kinds of daily consistency you mention that your daughter struggles with.

It is very easy to advise taking one day at a time, but for me it's a hard won skill to be able to banish the 'what ifs' and truly live for the day. My OH has this worldview and I have benefitted a lot from his gentle reminders just to focus on the small details right in front of me, leaving the bigger picture to take care of itself through time.

snowleopard61

Lara44 wrote: »

I don't have experience of MH issues, but found it helpful in my early twenties to take time to really get to know what I enjoyed doing - rather than what I (or others) thought I 'should' be doing. Often what you really enjoy and value is not at all obvious, and takes some thought and experimentation.

Maybe your daughter would better enjoy learning outside of a formal and examined structure? I loved taking local adult education courses as there was no pressure to achieve. In our area at least there are a huge range of courses. Instead of expecting too much of myself I simply congratulated myself on turning up - which can be a way of learning the kinds of daily consistency you mention that your daughter struggles with.

I'd love her to do this - and in theory she might quite like it herself. Whether she would find the time and energy is another thing; to be fair, her job, although not particularly high level, unfortunately has an annoyingly inconsistent working pattern which causes problems with things like this. However, her immediate managers are aware of her difficulties and are minded to help where possible, so if she's interested, it may be an option. Thanks.